Woman strangles husband with ribbon cable

A number of years ago the trusty husband decided that he was going to buy a defective computer from Office Max (where he worked at the time). He said it was still under warranty so that he could use that to get it fixed. I should also mention I was in college at the time (my horticulture degree) and this was right when I was coming up on mid-terms. Needless to say our old computer was on its last leg and promptly died the second the “new” computer entered the apartment. I lost everything. Derek assured me he would have the “new” computer up and running soon enough. Weeks later I finally had a mostly restored computer, but had lost all of my school work and all of my music (that I’d downloaded off of Napster when it was still free). I didn’t speak to him for days, maybe weeks. To this day it has been one of the single biggest fights we’ve ever had. I told him that he was only ever allowed to purchase computers brand new from then on out.

Fast forward to last year… Our brand new out of the box computer was about 5 years old and in need of an upgrade. I would pray every time I opened my email, the internet, Illustrator and Dreamweaver at the same time. Odds were something was going to lock up. So Derek convinced me that he could build us a really great computer for around $300. I reluctantly agreed stating that it sure as hell better work when he was done or I would seriously hurt him. He agreed. To his credit, it all did work.

Then one day (about 5 months ago) he came to me and said, “I could make the computer faster if I buy this that and the other thing, then you could run Adobe Creative Suite 4”. Sounds like a great deal doesn’t it? He then proceeds to order a new whatever and downloads the Beta version of Windows 7. Windows 7 somehow doesn’t work with dual monitors (which are essential for my work) so he then thinks we need a new video card. Video card ordered, 7 still doesn’t work. Luckily, he did something that allows me to still use Windows XP so I am not totally lost.

He then gets this crazy idea that a new power supply would make the video card work better thus making Windows 7 work blah blah blah. He orders the new power supply. It arrived yesterday and tried to install it with no avail. Today he tried to put the old power supply back in and now that doesn’t work. He comes out to me and says, “I think the new power supply was defective and may have fried the motherboard.” The emm-effing mother board!

At this point I could have bought a brand new computer! I am going to hurt him. We have no extra money to buy another new bit for this damn computer. I can’t work without the computer so what the hell am I supposed to do? How can he prove to the power supply company that it was their part that broke our computer and not him being stupid and crossing some wires.

In an effort to speed up the process of “fixing” my computer he suggests this morning that we could drive up to Fry’s and see if they have a mother board.? Normally he orders all of our computer parts off of the internet.? We drive up, hem and haw over which one to buy and eventually settle on the one that is $25 more than the one he originally was going to get.? We get home and I assist him in installing the new mother board.? At some point I’d had enough and retreated to my working laptop.? I begin to hear very loud and heavy sighs coming from my office.? A while later he comes out to me and says, “take a look at this, I think I know what the problem is.”? Somehow some dowhidgy on the processor got bent and now that doesn’t work.

Now we get to drive back to Fry’s (which is in Renton, 30 minutes away) to buy yet another part for my computer.

So if you read somewhere that a woman has maimed her husband with some random computer part please send money for bail.