When we finally arrived home with the boy he was one month shy of 2 years old. I missed out on 2 years of his life. I knew that would be the case going into the whole thing. We made the best of it. Instead of a first birthday we celebrated a first gotcha day. Instead of first steps we celebrated the first step on US soil (although none of us remember it, the photos tell us it happened). We missed out on 2 whole years.
Missing out on those years meant that the boy was 2 years closer to going to kindergarten when we got him home. He doesn’t start kindergarten until he’s almost 6 and we will celebrate our 4th gotcha day right before he goes to kindergarten. It doesn’t seem like it’s been 4 years. It does seem like it’s too soon for him to be going to “big kid” school.
Monday afternoon we went to the boy’s new school to register him for kindergarten. He was nervous. We had talked for 2 days about it and on the way home from preschool we talked about how visiting the new school would be an adventure and we would do it together. He seemed excited. The trusty husband also asked if we wanted him to go with us. I figured it couldn’t hurt. The boy knew what we were going to do that afternoon and ate his lunch slower than I’ve ever seen him eat any meal. He was totally stalling. Trouble was, it was encroaching on 1:00 and registration closed at 2:00.
We finally got the school, checked in and were sent to the library to fill out nearly as may forms as it took to adopt the child. The principal walked by and introduced himself and we talked about the boy visiting during school hours so he could get to see a classroom setting. He was very agreeable to that and seemed like a very nice guy.
I got to the immunization page of the forms and had to laugh. I just handed the lady the immunization records and the form and she filled most of it out. The boy’s immunization history is a little more extensive than most children’s. She said the nurse has a program that she inputs all of the dates into and it tells her if he needs any additional ones before school starts. That’s a good thing since I can’t make heads or tails of what he’s had done.
While I was filling out paperwork the lady registering children took the boy to the rock wall the school has. He had the chance to see the library and actually used the potty. It was a positive experience for him. This is good.
When we got home I took a minute to read the information packet included in the folder that had all of the forms. Included was a sheet that said what the basic 1/2 day kindergarten curriculum was. I read the list to the trust husband and his response was, “he’s going to be bored isn’t he?” Probably. Most of what they will be teaching is stuff that he has already learned in preschool or we’ve taught him at home. This doesn’t mean I’m not going to stop teaching him. We’ll use the upcoming school year as a way to transition him into “big kid” school. He will get used to the building, the schedule of school and his general surroundings.
I’m not regretting my choice for 1/2 day kindergarten. Especially when I saw how large the school was and how small my baby still is. How can this little boy that I just brought home 3 1/2 years ago be going to kindergarten already. I’m not ready for him to grow up so fast. I must say, he’s a pretty awesome 5 year old.
Thank you all for your input on yesterday’s kindergarten question. Given all of the criteria we think we are going to go with our local school. The deciding factors are socialization, why we picked the district in the first place, the less likelihood of the boy getting “removed” from the other district* and the advice of the trusty sister-in-law. I should have asked her first, but I’m dumb like that.
Registration is Monday. The school’s website says nothing about assessments being done at registration time so I have no clue if I’m supposed to take him with me. It would be nice if I didn’t have to since registration is from 8:00 a.m. – 2:00 p.m. and the boy is in preschool most of that time.
I did call the school yesterday morning to ask them about his birth certificate and the possibility of touring the school. I spoke with the secretary and she says I should have no issue with his birth certificate as long as I bring his certificate of citizenship. We elected to not do a re-adoption in the US and he still has a Russian birth certificate.
I spoke with the preschool teachers earlier this year about the move to the primary school and they suggested talking to the school about making a few visits prior to the end of the school year. When I talked to the primary school secretary she said that they don’t usually do that and that open house day is in August. She was kind of snide when I said he has trust/transition/change issues and this would be a good idea. Her reply, “the August open house won’t be enough for him?” If push came to shove it would work, but it isn’t ideal.
The boy’s preschool moved across the building this past summer and we spent time touring the construction area, attending VBS and generally spending time in the space prior to the start of school. We carried the boy out of the open house screaming and the first day of school he wouldn’t let me leave the room. So no lady, one visit right before school starts isn’t going to cut it. She suggested we speak with the principal when we are there Monday to see if he’ll let us make a few extra visits. My worst fear is him fearing the school and end up hating it. He’s already freaked out because his best friends won’t be going to the same school.
The good news is we will continue with hockey next season and with any luck some of his preschool friends will be on his hockey team. Two boys recently joined our learn to skate program and the parents seem as if they are interested in keeping their kids in the program.
We are planning on spending as much time together as a family this summer. We’ve made a commitment to say no to as much stuff as possible especially since I will be out of the country most of July (I’m gone almost 3 weeks). Last year we had something every weekend and it prohibited us from even taking a family camping trip. At the end of the summer the boy was so sad that he didn’t get to sleep in a tent. Our other challenge for the summer is that I might be working (besides my church job).
I’ve applied for a job at a local garden center and it sounds like they are very interested in hiring me (or at least talking to me at this point). It is a very small nursery and I don’t know if they carry extra staff over the summer. I only want to work part-time especially since retail nursery jobs don’t pay enough for child care. I also worry about leaving the boy all day long. That may seem silly, but you don’t know my boy and his people issues. Some PI kids have food issues mine has serious people issues.
So that’s the word.
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*See Auntie G’s comment
I am going to preface this post by saying I actually want your opinions. This means you need to leave comments. Please. See, I asked nicely.
As you may know the boy will be entering the big bad scary world of kindergarten next school year. It is also that time of year when schools have enrollment for said Kindergarten. Although, I can’t find the specific dates for our schools.
For the past few years I’ve been confused as to what school the boy is supposed to go to. We live in a suburb with its own school district. We selected this suburb because of the school district. Then I was talking with our former babysitter and she said that her brothers go to the major town school district and not the suburb school district even though they live in the suburb. I thought that was odd. For all I knew our “home” school was the suburb school and they lived further away from it than we did. Then I found out that yes, the suburb school is our “home” school and the one the boy is supposed to attend.
Here are how schools work around here. The suburb school district is a 4 school system (K-4, 5-7, 8-9, 10-12). The major school district is a 3 school system (K-5, 6-8, 9-12). In the major school district families are allowed to select any school they choose, but if they are not attending their “home” school they must provide their own transportation. I believe the same is for the suburb school district. The suburb school district has 1/2 day kindergarten. The major school district is full day kindergarten. We can send the boy to the major school district, but we have to have a release from the suburb school district and I’m not sure if we are guaranteed to get the elementary school we would like.
The facts at hand are: major school district - full day kindergarten, good kindergarten teacher, home elementary school of the district gifted program, not our “home” school meaning the neighborhood kids won’t necessarily go there. Suburb school district – half day kindergarten, I don’t know about the teacher’s experience with gifted children, not the home school for the district gifted program, children in the neighborhood might go to the school, some of the best schools in the state.
Given all of that I had planned to send the boy to the suburb school district. Then the aforementioned babysitters mom came to help me with Valentine’s candy and she asked where the boy was going to kindergarten. I told her. She said that at the major school district elementary school right by our house there is a fantastic kindergarten teacher. She has lots of experience with gifted children and is simply wonderful. I started to question my decision.
I talked it over with a few people and decided to stick with my original choice. I wasn’t sold on totally switching districts just for one teacher.
Then a few weeks ago I was at my goddaughter’s birthday party and started talking to a friend who is a kindergarten teacher. I asked her opinion on the matter. She voted for the school with full day kindergarten. She said to put him there for kindergarten and then move him to the suburb school district.
The trouble with this is change. The boy is already sweating the move to a new school. However, he’s been in preschool for 3 years now. In all honesty he’s ready for full day school. Our suburb school district has full day kindergarten, but we would have to pay for it. I’m not sure we could afford it and it’s not a guarantee.
I was reluctant to make a final decision, but was still leaning towards the suburb school.
Then last week I was talking with the husband of a preschool friend. We had the same “what school” conversation and I mentioned my conundrum. He said he’d had lots of discussions with his father-in-law (who happens to be the superintendent of schools for the major school district) about the matter. He asked what is the best for the kids. Superintendent’s answer was start them early and with full day. When he took on the job as superintendent that was his first order of business, full day kindergarten.
Now I’m totally at a loss. What do I do? My plan was to go with the 1/2 day and supplement academically with in-home instruction. I would like him to go full day (not only for selfish reasons), but I don’t want to switch him around from school to school. The trusty husband says whatever district we start him in he will stay there. So the major school district kindergarten and then suburb school district for the rest isn’t an option. That is too many changes for him (remember suburb schools are a 4 school system so that is enough on it’s own). I also want him to have friends that live close by. Yes, the major school district school is very close to our house, but the kids come from all over. Our suburb is much smaller.
So I’m asking, if it was your child (who is showing signs of giftedness, yet has trust and change issues) what would you do? I have to make up my mind soon because registrations start very soon.
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*yes, it is cost prohibitive for us to pay for full-day kindergarten. It is double what we pay currently for preschool. If we pay for full day kindergarten we would not be able to pay for other extra curricular activities such as sports. Also, there are too many families who want full day kindergarten so we would be entered into a lottery and not guaranteed a spot.
A few months ago the trusty husband and I sat down and had a conversation that I wasn’t planning on having. We were out for happy hour sans small child and somehow the conversation turned to having more children. We both agree that more would be nice. However, we are not in a position to say, “yes, let’s do that.” In 2008 we spent another 6 months trying to get pregnant. Did I tell you that? I don’t remember. We did, it didn’t work. When we started he asked me how long we are going to try for. I didn’t have an answer. I figured we would try until either it worked (HA HA) or until I couldn’t stand the disappointment anymore. We went with the latter.
In our conversation we both agreed that trying to have a biological kid, yeah not so much good for us. We aren’t going to try that anymore. That pretty much leaves adoption for us and well… we can’t afford that. Whee! We got a dog instead. Obligatory we can’t have a kid dog?
I’m ok with where we are right now. I’m ok with not having a biological child. Obviously, I adopted. I’m ok with putting plans to adopt another child on hold for the moment. I would like to do it without huge amounts of debt. What I haven’t done is gone through the process of grieving my infertility.
No, I have not gone through the process of full on infertility testing. I don’t want to do it because I find it totally hypocritical that our insurance will pay 80% of the testing but 0% of the treatment. The other reason is I don’t believe in artificial reproductive therapy. So why go through the testing to find out something is wrong, but not follow through with the treatment? I know what is wrong with me. I have fibroids. I have an ovary that was cauterized from endometriosis treatment and I don’t know if it functions properly. I have scar tissue from having a lime sized tumor cut out of my uterus. I have issues people. It’s all a mess up in there.
That doesn’t mean that I’m not mad about the whole thing. Why did I have to get tumors? Why did I have to have very severe endometriosis? Why can’t I have a baby and my girlfriends are on #2 or #3? Boo frickedy hoo, why me?
I’m stuck between this rock and a hard place. On one hand I know I can’t have more children right now and I want them, but I also don’t want to go through the “I did all I could do” stuff people go through. It leaves me in a bit of a pickle.
Here’s the catch. Have you noticed? There are pregnant people everywhere. Well that’s a big fat duh. Seriously. Every.where. Get invited to a party – pregnant chick. Find a new funny blog to read – written by a pregnant chick. Log in to Facebook – pregnant friend. Preschool mom – pregnant. I can’t get away from them.
Sure, I want to grieve my infertility. I’ve been trying. I’ve been trying to move past this. It’s just that giant green monster of jealousy that eats at my very soul. One girlfriend who understands might do the trick. One who listens and ends up pregnant and calls to talk to me before blabbing it all over Facebook first. One who calls to say, “hey I know you are having a rough go at it but I just wanted you to know that so and so is pregnant and will be there on Sunday.” One who gets it. That’s great for you that you are having baby #20, but I’m not and I’m not really happy for you, I’m totally jealous.
Today is the Valentine’s Day party at preschool. Now normally I despise Valentine’s Day. It is nothing more than a holiday made up by card, candy and lingerie companies. It’s silly. I don’t need a special holiday to tell the trusty husband that I love him. However, when it comes to preschool parties, I’m a sucker.
You see, the boy is a lady killah. He lurves him some girls. When I ask him what he does on the playground at school he says he plays “mystery girls” with the 3 girls in his class. At the preschool Christmas party I walked in to my son telling me that “me and Norma are going to marry ourselves.” This child is absolutely in love with this girl.
So the premise of a preschool Valentine’s Day party is that the children bring valentine’s for their friends, parents bring goodies for the party, we look at preschool artwork, sit in very tiny chairs and ohh and ahh over the cuteness of it all.
Being the overly perfectionist and crazy good mother that I am, I always insist on making valentines. I just can’t see spending the money on stupid crap. I can make my own stupid crap and spend the money on what the kids really want… candy.
The boy and I spent the afternoon yesterday making brownies (that I’ll give you the recipe for tomorrow) and making valentines. We made all of the valentines and then I asked him which one was for which classmate. This is the only one with a personalized note:
*Melissa mentioned that she liked the valentines. I used the template for my seed packets, but left off the top flap. I traced them onto the back of scrapbook paper (that I let the boy pick 5 of his favorite papers) and then he helped me cut them out. We used double stick tape to hold them together and I printed simple labels that said “Happy Valentine’s Day.” I wrote the to and from and he decorated them with little heart stickers. We put a little candy inside each one. Very simple. I don’t think I could have pushed him to do much more than for his class, but that’s fine since we don’t really do valentine’s around here.
