Why Ikea on a whim is a bad thing

Before the boy came home we used to look at each other on a Saturday morning and ask, “What do you want to do today?”? The trusty husband would say he didn’t know knowing full well that I had the day mapped out in my head.? More often than not he was right.? Of course there were the few occasions that I didn’t know what I wanted to do so we always ended up at Ikea.? When we lived in downtown Tacoma getting all the useless crap up the elevator took at least 5 trips.? (the window that is the 3rd one from the left and 3rd one down… that’s where we used to live)? Now we have a cracker box nice spacious house that absolutely no more stuff will fit into, yet I continue to buy things.

Today was no exception to the “What do you want to do today.”? Guess where we ended up?? Ikea.

I figured it was close to “fall” and that there might be the off chance that the big boy bed we wanted was in again.? Sho nuff.? Of course the only thing they changed was the color of the blue panels.? Oh and the price.? Yeah.? More expensive.? Crack whores.

Being the observant mother I noticed that my child was quickly out growing his crib.? See, I pay attention.? So I conned coerced talked the trusty husband into purchasing the bed.? This was a huge mistake upon my part.? The boy wanted to play on anything that remotely resembled a bed.? He nearly melted down after leaving Ikea Jr.? See… if he were potty trained I could drop him off in the kiddie area and pick him up after we leisurely shopped.

Since we arrived at the Swedish Mega Furniture store early and we cruised through to further eliminate tantrums we arrived home early.? Plenty of time to assemble the new bed.? The trusty husband sent me to the mega bullseye store to purchase a mattress pad and sheets.? All. by. my. self!? By 3:30 we were set to assemble.

Special tool included we were off.? Any normal project would be rated on the beer system.? How many beers does it take to finish a project.? Let’s just say the scope of this project would have me in the ER having my stomach pumped.? I guess it is a good thing that this is the week I decided to cut back on the amount of alcohol I am consuming.? Otherwise our child might be sleeping in the bed with us.

Now I’m here to tell you that I secretly love assembling Ikea furniture.? In fact, my job for a major greeting card company was to travel around the country assembling greeting card departments.? I built fixtures in record time.? I was the best.? But.? But… holy Mary mother of all things Holy not even a Nasa engineer could complete this project in under 5 hours.? I have blisters on my fingers to prove it.? The worst part was chasing the child out of his own room so he wouldn’t run off with random screws or special tools.? That kid watched more TV this afternoon than in the past month.

Somewhere around 8:00 we finally called it quits.? The bed is assembled, complete with non-Ikea bed rail (that took nearly an hour to assemble and install).

Good news is the child thinks the bed is the coolest thing he’s ever seen.? We asked him repeatedly if he wanted to keep his crib up for a while and he proclaimed NO!? Then proceeded to jump all over the mattress we had laid out on our bedroom floor.? Currently he is quietly rocking in his new big boy bed.? We’ll see how long he stays there.? And yes… I am aware that I may be effectively kissing nap time goodbye.

Oh! and he did pee on the potty before bed time tonight.? He even asked to go.? He did have to use the bathroom at the other end of the house, but hey… it was a toilet and he peed in it.