Why cancer sucks

It has been an overly trying weekend around Room 1009 (which was room 3-something and is now 9-something).  So much has happened since last Tuesday that I’m going to totally reference emails my sister-in-law has sent out.

Here is what we know.  They performed another MRI on Thursday to make sure that there was no change with the tumor.  The good news is there has been no change.  That is about the extent of the good news.  The doctor also ordered a spinal tap to rule out encephalitis and meningitis.  She does not have bacterial meningitis.  However, they did find protein from the lumbar puncture indicating an infection, but they don’t know where yet.  Saturday she was moved to the cardiology floor because of some concerning heart issues.  She had elevated blood pressure and heart rate along with elevated enzyme levels.  Over the weekend they were finding blood in her stools and gave her some medicine to help calm her stomach and it appears as if the bleeding has stopped for the time being.  Saturday night she all but stopped swallowing.  She couldn’t swallow pills or water so they are having a feeding tube put in today.  She has also stopped talking beyond yes or no.

The radiation oncologist came in to see her and she believes that all of this could just be a result of the rebound that she’s been going through.  She said that some people come out of it and some don’t.  The “some don’t” is what’s concerning all of us.

Derek and I are (hopefully) headed to the hospital today.  Derek has been called for jury duty and his group was to report this morning.  He was going to talk to the jury administration people to see if they will excuse him for the duration of his two weeks.  This poor man cannot honestly concentrate on a jury case while his mother is in the hospital with complications from cancer.

The three of us are trying to be strong for the family and each other, but it is starting to take its toll.  My anger with God is welling up again.  That may not be the healthiest reaction, but right now it’s all I’ve got.  One of my best friends has been laying in a hospital bed for the past week with no sign of improvement and all signs are pointed the other way.  I’m angry, sad and feel helpless.