When the desperate get really desperate

I could spend this time telling you all about my oh so fantastic churchy filled week. Hell, I have a whole category devoted to that which is called Lutheranism. A good majority of my readers are not Lutheran and don’t get the inside jokes that would come from me telling about the spread put on at a funeral I attended this afternoon. Unfortunately I now attend a Norwegian Lutheran congregation rather than my former Swede Lutheran congregation. So the hot dish and jello jokes are few and far between these days. If you don’t even get that reference, then… well I’m sorry.

To make up for continuing lack of funny I will go with a Google hit post.

lactose in Cheez-its
I have no definitive proof that there is in fact lactose in Cheez-its, but I would think one should not be influenced by the name. I do know that the Cheez-it company makes reduced fat ones and they are just wrong and likely without any real cheez cheese

different kinds of hummus
Evidently I have a strong love of odd snack foods. Two words: trader joes

growing out hair when you are a guy, bad hair stage
Dear Reader,
Growing out your hair is a bitch. Take it from me. I’ve done it, it wasn’t pretty. From your blatantly obvious search you are a guy. Lest I remind you of that little fact. Guys with long hair are. not. attractive. I highly doubt that you are one of the few men out there that can actually look good with long hair. Are you Antonio Banderas? No. Johnny Depp? No. My guess is if you grow your hair out will end up looking more like this guy, or better yet… this one. Do yourself a favor. Forget the idea all together and go get a hair cut. You’ll thank me in the end. Sincerely, a woman only looking out for your best interests, really

starting to eat meat again my hair
I’ve got nothing on this one. I say: readers take your best guess

new wash mops
I do love a good mop

and my personal favorite:

my parents are cousins, I am a dwarf
I win the internets for best google hit evah!!!

10 Comment

  1. Pretty funny. I used to get weird hits on Peanut Pants all the time, but things are pretty tame at The Open Window.

  2. Dana says: Reply

    Have you read “Growing up Lutheran”? My husband couldn’t figure out why I was laughing so much! I thought our church was the only one with flannel boards during Sunday School and that my mom (as the superintendant) came up with the idea to give us pins for perfect attendance! Who knew there were others out there just like us!?

  3. Elle says: Reply

    A congregation member lent me the book and I haven’t quite finished it yet. I am Lutheran by association (married a Swede and became a Lute in high school). And I did make a felt board for my god daughter one year for Christmas.

  4. LMAO – I think you do win for best google hit. I thought my disney porn google was good but yours is better!

  5. Jenni says: Reply

    Ha! I mean, I feel bad for the dwarf, but it is a funny Google hit.

    I mostly just get hits for “Kelly Clarkson’s Feet.”

  6. Wendy says: Reply

    My friend and I both grew up in the midwest and ate way too many hot dishes and jello salads! I snorted out loud at that reference. But the dwarf google hit? Scary…..

  7. mom says: Reply

    Scary huh. I’ve had sooooo… many weird hits that it only confirms my belief, LOCK YOUR DOORS.

  8. What do you think the dwarf got out of reading your blog?

  9. DebiP says: Reply

    Lutheran here always have been…know all the jokes and read the book…what do you put in your jello??

  10. Rhonda says: Reply

    Oh that poor dwarf!!

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