I don’t know why I get complacent when things seem to go right around here.? You’d think I’d learned my lesson by now.? Like, oh, my website is working just fine and then Habib’s Hosting service decides to do server upgrades when I want to test new designs and my site suddenly is slower than the wireless at the trusty SIL’s house.? Or wow! that nice little drizzle sure did a good job of knocking the pollen out of the air.? Wait!? What’s that?? Day 28 and it’s still raining.? Oh look!? My roof is leaking again.
Yeah, like that.
So Monday started out like a gem.? I used my standard line of, “if you want to go to school you have to go on the big boy potty.”? I put him on the toilet.? He peed.? We rejoiced.? I set a timer for 45 minutes.? I put him on the potty, he peed.? Every 45 minutes.? He peed.? All. damn. day.? Lots of rejoicing.
Tuesday was this.? Still lots of pee.? Not a lot of actual in the toilet.
Wednesday degraded itself into a day that I would like to forget as a parent.? So much so that the acupuncturist didn’t stick me in the calm down and relax spots.? She stuck me in the help my stomach not burn so much spots.? It worked, but I was still a cranky bitch.? I think the boy spent more time on the naughty chair than off on Wednesday.? Then there was lots of fighting about the fact that he didn’t want to go on the potty, but he didn’t want to wear diapers either.? Oh yeah, I cleaned up 4 pee accidents before I got really pissed and just threw a diaper on him.? Much screaming happened when he went anywhere near the potty.? Both by him (because he didn’t want to go) and by me (because he puts wads of toilet paper in the toilet just for shits and giggles).? The day ended with me downing almost an entire liter of Coke and a sleeve of Girl Scout cookies.? (You know it’s been a bad day for me when I ask for Coke.? It is my biggest vice.? Especially if I pass up a glass of good red wine for a Coke.)
Thursday I resigned myself to be a better parent. Preschool occurred without incident.? We had a nice time at the farmer’s market.? The boy asked to try on the potty at the market.? He tried.? Didn’t pee.? He said he still wanted to be a baby and I told him that baby’s get rocked to sleep (he’s now in a I want to go to bed “by self” phase).? I rock him to sleep for his nap.? We resumed potty training after nap to which he declared that he didn’t want to go on the big boy potty nor did he want to wear diapers.? I obliged and offered him the only other alternative.? No pants.? You would think I would have seriously maimed this child by the hysterical sobbing at the fact of me taking away his pants.? Don’t most kids want to run around naked?? Not mine.? I finally gave in just to shut him up.
Today.? He’s wearing diapers.? I can’t stand it anymore.? My child is much smarter than me.? The only thing I can figure out is that on Monday I said he had to go on the big boy potty to go to school.? He did so he got to go.? That was the end of that.? He won.? I lost.? Clearly black and white in his little world.? More of the I’m going to rip my hair out? and scream in mine.