Toddler Two Point Terrible

I think my over zealous gloating of my angelic child has come back to bite me in the ass. As of late my son has found that he has a voice and is not afraid to use it at loud and ear piercing decibels. Take for instance lunchtime the other day.

Boy: banana

Elle: You can have a banana with lunch

Boy: peez

Elle: with lunch

Boy: *screaming like a banshee*

There is no intermediate whining here. This child goes from zero to only dogs can hear you now in .5 seconds flat.

We are also suffering the effects of the self perpetuating cycle of cranky in our house. The boy is testing to see if it is still not ok to pitch his food at my head. His removal from the table assures him that no, he cannot use his mother for target practice. Ergo, boy is hungry. Bedtime rolls around and his food consumption was limited at meal time due to a prior food infraction. Boy has a hard time falling (and staying) asleep. Morning time comes. Boy is now tired and hungry and the cycle begins again. We are back up to disabling his self-feed mechanism purely for the sake of our own sanity.

However the screaming… it is enough to make you want to rip your hair out. It is so loud I think the neighbors are getting ready to egg our house again. Saturday afternoon I took the boy in to change a dirty diaper (we were out cleaning the garage) and he started to pitch a fit. I was all for letting him wallow in his own filth, however the smell got to be so bad rodents were starting to circle. So I take the boy in and he starts screaming. I change the diaper and still with the screaming. I tell him he cannot go back out while he is carrying on like this and he eventually loses his outside privilege. You would think I beat this child or something. The trusty husband could hear the screaming all the way at the other end of the house, in the attic. It took him a good 20 minutes of the snivel sucking cry to calm down.

My days go on and on and on like this. My wonderful husband departs from the house in the morning with the parting words, “good luck to you.” Somehow I am becoming immune to the screaming. I don?t know if I am tired of hearing it so I tune him out or the scream is so high pitched that I physically cannot hear it anymore. That must be it because is sure drives the cats batty.

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