I kinda tip toed around the subject of the boy asking to rock. I only did so because it is a new phenomenon. This is something that just started occuring this week. Partly because we don’t have a rocking chair in the hotel so we’ve tried to substitute back rubbing for rocking. It isn’t working very well. However I think it is something that should be addressed. Mainly because I had a bit of a mommy meltdown last night.
The light here is getting to me and playing with my sleep and hormones. I think it is putting me over the edge. I came out of the other room last night in a rage telling the trusty husband that when we got home I was going to make the boy stop rocking. I was convinced I was a terrible mother. I know this isn’t true, but I lost control.
Today I gained a little insight. I had realized that the rocking isn’t all that bad. It truly is just a thing. It is causing my child no harm. At the same time we know the boy can’t go to sleep with out it. We know this because he is asking to rock. Tonight the husband was putting him to bed and rubbing his back and the boy said, “Daddy, bed please.” Just because he wanted to rock.
Last week the boy and I had a talk about rocking. Ok, as much of a conversation you can have with a 2 year old. I told him that he didn’t have to rock. He was sad about that. He laid his head on my shoulder and kinda whimpered. I said that I understood that he felt he needed to rock and that was ok with me. At that point I was ready to let go of my hang up. We seemed to come to an agreement that the rocking was ok.
I think I can let go.
As a side note I did finish that beer. And walked out of the restaurant on my own two feet.