- The universe revolves around me. Don?t ever forget it.
- Fruity Cheerios are a food group as are “hookies” (wheat crackers) and macaroni & cheese
- Don?t even think about trying to feed me meat. It doesn?t matter how small of a bit you can possibly chop it, I will find it and spit it out.
- The same goes for vegetables.
- Just because I like it at this very moment does not mean I will like it 2 minutes later.
- I will repeat everything you say, so you best watch your language.
- If you let me run around the house naked I will flail about wildly and not let you dress me. Clothing is for sissys.
- My father has taught me how to undress. I will take the opportunity to practice at any given moment of the day.
- You cannot hold me still. Even given your best efforts I will find some way to move and annoy the hell out of you. This is especially true when you want me to sleep.
- Sleep will be on my terms. Not yours.
- You must read 3 specific books to me on a regular basis. If you do not read them correctly I will cry.
- I will take the pillow in the car. Elmo is not a suitable substitute.
- If you don?t do what I want when I ask I will find a way to do it myself, and this usually involves me climbing on something or opening something you know I shouldn?t be in. Chop-Chop and get it done.
- If you put my shoes and coat on me we better be leaving that very second. And no you cannot go get your cell phone that you left in your office.
- If all else fails refer to rule #1
