The Rules According to The Boy

  1. The universe revolves around me. Don?t ever forget it.
  2. Fruity Cheerios are a food group as are “hookies” (wheat crackers) and macaroni & cheese
  3. Don?t even think about trying to feed me meat. It doesn?t matter how small of a bit you can possibly chop it, I will find it and spit it out.
  4. The same goes for vegetables.
  5. Just because I like it at this very moment does not mean I will like it 2 minutes later.
  6. I will repeat everything you say, so you best watch your language.
  7. If you let me run around the house naked I will flail about wildly and not let you dress me. Clothing is for sissys.
  8. My father has taught me how to undress. I will take the opportunity to practice at any given moment of the day.
  9. You cannot hold me still. Even given your best efforts I will find some way to move and annoy the hell out of you. This is especially true when you want me to sleep.
  10. Sleep will be on my terms. Not yours.
  11. You must read 3 specific books to me on a regular basis. If you do not read them correctly I will cry.
  12. I will take the pillow in the car. Elmo is not a suitable substitute.
  13. If you don?t do what I want when I ask I will find a way to do it myself, and this usually involves me climbing on something or opening something you know I shouldn?t be in. Chop-Chop and get it done.
  14. If you put my shoes and coat on me we better be leaving that very second. And no you cannot go get your cell phone that you left in your office.
  15. If all else fails refer to rule #1

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