Have I ever mentioned that I live in a neighborhood full of morons? ?Oh yes, that’s right. ?On a few occasions. ?Normally when I complain about my neighbors it is the ones with 11 (possibly 12) children or the Jehovah’s Witness lady that tries to convert me all the time (oops, I was supposed to water her plants today).
This isn’t so much of a bitch about the neighbor per se, but about the tools he hired to do some yard work for him. ?This particular neighbor of mine happens to work for the fire department. ?Nice guy. ?A bachelor. ?Into opera. ?Actually a pretty great neighbor. ?He just has this yard that is well… less than desirable. ?He has come to the conclusion that he wants to do something about it and hired the three stooges to improve it.
It all started a few weeks ago when they showed up to do some weeding. ?They had the music in their truck turned on at quite a high level, but I figured they’d do their weeding and be done with it. ?Or so I thought. ?They were back a few days later with the same crap ass music, but this time even louder. ?Right in the middle of dinner. ?I had to shut the front door and windows so I wouldn’t have to explain what bootyliscious was to my 4 year old.
Today they show up again, but this time no music. ?I was out in the front pricing stuff for an eventual garage sale. ?Oh don’t even get me started on that one. ?And I notice they are trimming the junipers in front of this neighbor’s house. ?Ok. ?The juniper’s didn’t need a trim, but whatever. ?So the boy and I run to the church and when we come back their truck is in the middle of the street and there is dirt all over the road. ?They are now “trimming” the junipers with their truck. ?As in yanking them out. ?Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for the removal of the hideous junipers. ?That was the first thing I said when we bought our house. ?Gee, those junipers sure could go.
So the three stooges spent the afternoon tearing out the 40 year old shrubs and threatening to take out my mail box with each one. ? ?What makes this even better is that they deposited the shrubs to the other side of my neighbor’s yard. ?Lovely.
As I type they are finally leaving. ?But not before they “cleaned” up the street. ?Hurley spent 10 minutes out front with the blower blowing the dirt randomly around the neighborhood. ?Did I mention that it hasn’t rained here in about 26 days? ?And guess who is allergic to dust. ?VERY allergic to dust. ?This will not end well.