The great hammock debacle of 2007

Always go into Target thinking, “I am going to find a cheap home improvement project.” Because if you blissfully wander the aisles trying to find something to buy besides the diapers and toilet bowl cleaner, odds are you’ll walk out with something far more expensive than the original list. However, if you go in with a project in mind you won’t find bupkis. As for me… I always have a project in mind, but it usually involves about 20 yards of bark that we can’t afford. Can’t buy that much bark at Target. Therefore I load the diapers into the cart and stroll for a good 30 minutes.

The other week I spied with my little eye that they were having a clearance on all of their patio stuff. I have 2 huge patios at my house and both are full of stuff. 3 tables, 2 BBQs, a fire pit, sand box, bench, swing and multiple containers of edibles. On a good day we throw in a kiddie pool too. What on earth would make me think there would be anything in the patio department I would want. Oh! A $20 hammock. That’s what. Who in their right mind would pass up a $20 hammock? Not I.

No stand. No problem!

Last year I got bored when the trusty husband went golfing and built the aforementioned bench. Broke the windshield of my car, but I built a bench. Why not build a hammock stand?

There is a small corner of our back patio that wasn’t covered with some other bit of furniture so I thought it would be the perfect spot. We buy 2 4x4s and 2 bags of concrete. I dig the holes and that night we set the posts. Tuesday the family was over and they said I didn’t dig the holes deep enough. Nonsense. I’m a landscape designer. I know what depth to dig holes. Besides the bag told me that post holes should be that deep.

Wednesday morning I’m all excited to hang my new hammock and give it a try. Yee Haw! Hammock. Wait a tick. My butt is only 12″ off the ground. That just won’t do. I grabbed my trusty tools and moved the hooks up 18″. By now the trusty husband has arrived to watch me take a swing in my new hammock. With the hooks higher I have to use a step stool to get into the darn thing. I’m 5’4″ remember. I heave my butt in and ahh! Hand me a cold beer and I’ll see you in September.

Umm, babe… my butt is getting closer to the ground. Oh! and that post is coming right at my head. Physics won out. Either that or I need to re-evaluate what a size six really means. I pulled the post out of the ground. Ok, the post was only 12″ into the soil. My bad.

So my $25 hammock stand has now turned into a $145 hammock stand (including the 2 pieces of lumber and 2 bags of concrete I wasted). It is also taking considerable more time and effort. Lucky for me I have a husband who is patient.

11 Comment

  1. Bev Lindholm says: Reply

    First Rule of Home Projects: Start with a small, no-brainer project. Take accurate measurements, price out supplies BEFORE going to Home Depot. Calculate time/costs for entire project BEFORE starting said project. Apply Rule #2 – double the cost projection and triple the time frame. Rule 3: Double and triple items under Rule #2, add in the cost of booze to counteract the frustration factor. FINALLY, memo yourself to either hire someone to do the job right OR, when the urge to do a home project in order to save money occurs, proceed immediately to Rule 3 = expecially the booze part!! Better luck next time! MIL :-)))

  2. Mom says: Reply

    But it looks so cool and live and learn!

  3. Rhonda says: Reply

    This post gave me a very funny visual of you slowly sinking in your hammock. Sounds like your new and improved hammock stand will last a long time πŸ™‚

  4. Maggie says: Reply

    Funny how a bargain can turn really expensive in an instant. I’ve had a few of those projects. I once bought a dresser at a garage sale for $15. After I bought all the stuff to strip it, restain it, fix the drawer, and put on new drawer pulls I was in about $60 deeper. Cheaper than a new dresser? Sure — but it wasn’t the bargain I thought it was and truthfully, it didn’t look that great when I was done with it.

  5. NEAL says: Reply

    And I’d be happy to share the value of counter-sinking cement board screws before you stick tile down.

    I’m happy there are other people out there like me (12″! *sigh*)

  6. You crack me up. Funny how a good deal project can turn into a pricey one. I always say to Frank, well at least I know I made it.

    Ps – I love love love my hammock! So relaxing!!!

  7. Jenny2 says: Reply

    It’s official, I’m buying a hammock.

  8. DebiP says: Reply

    I don’t know about you but Target gets me for no less then 100 bucks every time I drag myself in there. I hate to love that damn place…sorry about the hammock!! CS to the rescue!!

  9. That sounds like something we would do. You know what, at least you tried! That’s more than a lot of people would do!

  10. Tricia says: Reply

    at least you have projects going on in your house. michael and i are completely non-home project type folks. and this means an empty house. hardly any decorative plants in the entry way, nothing on the walls, etc. man… i have a lot of work to do!

  11. Tori says: Reply

    I hate to tell you this but all the money you spent on said hammock project you could have bought the hammock AND the stand from LL Bean. But then you wouldn’t have had all this fun πŸ™‚

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