The Frustrated Mother

This would be I.

Becoming a mom to a 2 year old is not the easiest thing in the world. Becoming a mom in general is a huge life change, but when a mobile, with his own mind, toddler is thrown at you lady you better be prepared. One of the first “parenting” books I ever read was Raising Children Who Think for Themselves. Being married to an anthropologist you somehow take on a bit of their personality. I?m talking about observation. I spent the years we were trying to conceive and adopting studying other parents. Watching what they do, watching what not to do and watching how the children react to their parents. What I found is that a good majority of parents are highly ineffective.

“No no Johnny don?t do that,” says a mother in a soft quiet voice. Whild Johnny beats the hell out of a kid at playgroup. Or the classic… the little girl who shoves my God-daughter down at the play structure in the mall and where is the mother. Nope, none to be found. Nice.

So I reserved myself to not be one of those parents. I want to teach my son how to use his God given problem solving skills and use a little bit of deductive reasoning. I wanted a child who could actually thing for himself. Thus I found this book. Written by Elisa Medhus, it is by far the best parenting book I have ever read. It teaches you the fine art of the logical consequence and actually gives you pointers on solutions towards self-direction. It is one of those books that should be carried around in every “here mommy” bag. It is not just for the benefit of parents to older children. These techniques are things that children can be taught from the begining.

I am not joking when I say this works. But like everything it takes time. Yes… the boy still throws his books and toys when he is mad. He still plays with the pocket doors even though we?ve told him 100 times, that is not a toy. And we are regressing in the amount of food this child will eat. Last week he would eat battered fish and hot dogs. This week, how much meat will my child eat? Oh that?s right! NONE!!!

But for these actions there are logical consequenses. Throwing things results in those being taken away. We redirect on the door thing and today at lunch he lost his Elmo privledge because he spit his food out.

So I?m a frustrated mom. I am the instant parent to a 2 year old. I didn?t speak his language. I took him away from everything he has ever known. He won?t eat and has trouble sleeping. But you know what? If I am this frustrated I can only imagine how frustrated my little boy is.

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