I had this great plan.? Genius really.? Something simply fantastic to get back at all of you internets for making me want to use phrases like “biggest ass chap since Velcro pubic hair” and influencing me to tell random people I want to make out with them around the corner (which I’ve only done once in the past week… it was totally justified!).? Ok… it was more the trusty husband getting his up and comings for spoiling our travel dates to meet the boy.? Cause I was totally going to tell you all we were in Russia and screw with you.
But alas, my fun has (likely) come to an end.? You see… my little sister (Little) is/was pregnant.? Which would totally be a cool deal except she’s single and the father of the baby doesn’t really want to be with her and is schlepping another chick.? We’ve looked past that for the moment.? Little is/was pregnant and she asked my mom and I to be there when she had the baby.? Um, ok.? I informed my sister that neither my mother nor I had any experience actually being pregnant or giving birth.? But she was unfazed by that and invited us anyway.
Then there was an unfortunate incident between my mother and my sister.? We’ll not go into details her.? It wasn’t pretty.? I thought I cleaned up the mess and we were still invited.? Um, ok.? Still not sure why she wanted the never been pregnant or given birth chicks to be there, but it was the closest I’d come to witnessing a birth so I was game.
She was due the 10th.? Of June.
I texted her Sunday and she said she had a lovely afternoon with her girlfriends.? I reminded her to pleeeeze call when she went into labor.? Seeing as she lives in Portland so I would have to drop of the boy at the trusty in-law’s house, drive out to Toolieville to pick up my mom and drive down to Portland and resist the urge to throw queen freakout out of the car somewhere along Winlock.? Oh and I totally would have slipped her decaf again.
Tuesday, no call.? Wednesday, no call.? I texted her again because I was sooooo bored.? Not text back.? Odd.? She always writes back.? I phoned Thursday.? She didn’t answer and didn’t call back.? I phoned Saturday. Same thing.? I texted today.? No answer.
Now Little is a bit of an anomaly.? She had a rough childhood and has a little bit of attachment issues along with trust and other issues.? So when she drops off the face of the earth it isn’t normally that big of a deal.? Not to sound heartless or anything, but it isn’t.? Except this time she is/was pregnant, single, and has gestational diabetes and lives 2 1/2 hours away from me.
I can only assume that she’s had the baby, didn’t want us there for some reason or another and is doing fine.? At least this is what I want to believe.
The selfish little girl in me is irritated because she took my fun away from the internets.? I was totally going to post a photo of me and my new nephew and say “welcome to the newest member of our family.”? Cause I like to screw with y’all like that.