The art of whining

Have you ever noticed that all children whine?? Even the most well behaved children.? And don’t give me the, “my children are perfect angels and never whine” crap.? I don’t buy it.

It’s not like we sit down and teach our children whining.? Think about that.? They just learn it.? I don’t know where they learn it, they just do.? It’s like God’s cruel joke.? Like when your kid was born He thought, “I’m going to make this child extra cute, but to balance it out I’m going to make it extra whiny.? Don’t want these parents liking their child too much and all.”

Somewhere around the time the speaking function kicks in the whining plug-in is activated.? A child instinctively knows when and where whining will most annoy their parents.? Like when you are at the supermarket checking out and have 5 minutes to pay, load your groceries, strap your child in the car and get to an appointment or at 10:00 in the morning on a Tuesday.

And the whining isn’t your ordinary whining.? It’s that irritating nasal whining that grates at your last nerve and makes you want to shove a pencil in your ear.? LOOOOOONG drawwwwwn out wooorrrdddsss that end in “uh.”


“Ayye waaaannnt iiiit-uh”

“you caaan’t maaake meeee-uh”

Isn’t it enough to drive you insane?? I know my child’s whining makes me instinctively want a beer.

11 Comment

  1. Diana says: Reply

    I don’t have kids, but I’ve been around them enough to know how bad it can be (5 siblings with a minimum of 2 and I’m the youngest…lots of babysitting happened). One of my nieces was the absolute worst with the “NOOOOO-WAH!” It was so bad, that we still make fun of her and she’s 16!

  2. Thank you for always making me laugh, and trust me I needed it today. I just always whined back at mine and they usually thought it was funny or they looked like they wanted to smack me, either way it made me feel better 🙂

  3. Whining. Yep. We are right there, with the promise of only getting worse, and it bugs me, too. My SIL says something similar to what you mentioned – only the other way around. She says, “It’s a good thing that God makes our children so cute…it saves their lives sometimes!”

  4. Lena says: Reply

    Would you like some cheese and cracker with that ‘whine’?

  5. Rebecca says: Reply

    OMG, my son whines and whines and whines these days. I’m desperately trying to get it to stop but so far no luck. Do you have any tips??

  6. Wendy says: Reply

    Beer? Heck, I reach for the hard stuff. (Then I debate which one of us to give it to….Hah!) I just always tell them ‘I can’t understand you when you talk like that.’ Then I ignore them, while gritting my teeth and taking deep breaths. This is why some animals eat their young…..

  7. Well my kid got the whining plug in much earlier in than the talking one. She does the wordless whine. Makes momma insane.

  8. Kris says: Reply

    Wow, something else I have to look forward to in the future. Grrrrrrreat. Although, now that I think about it… she already sort of does whine, its just the wordless whine that Michelle up there was talking about it.

  9. We do what Wendy does: Tell them we can’t understand the whining, and when they’re ready to talk without whining, we’ll listen. Until then, we ignore them. It’s starting to work, although it’s taken about a year to really sink in. Best of luck! I adopted a friends method for when I am a zero patience: I let the kids know that Mama needs a break, and that I will be back in a moment. I go into my room, close the door, count to 10 and take a couple of deep breathes, then I can face them again.

  10. Jenny says: Reply

    Mine make me want WINE, NOW. Where did they get it???? They can’t even say NO yet. (I have no idea why, seriously, why can’t my kids at 21 months not say NO?)

    Anyway, the Up and whine is the classic around here…but they can’t really say UP so they say PUP, and lift arms and moan….URGH…..

    And Elle, you can have some of my crystal if you venture down south….

  11. My kids don’t whine.

    Well the truth is- that overtime I became deaf to all things I don’t want to hear from my kids.

    I am not making this up.

    It is a defense mechanism that happens to prevent moms from permanently wrapping ducktape around their kid’s mouths.

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