Today was Christmas Tree Day.? Yes, there are accompanying photos, but I’m not exactly sure where my camera is at this point.? You should see my house.? It looks like Christmas threw up all over and decided not to do laundry.
Of course the trusty husband scheduled eye appointments for us this morning.? With a new eye doc.? Which means she dilates your eyes.? And renders both of us incapable of driving the 30 minutes down the freeway to the tree farm.? Then there’s that child.? Always with the kid.? Of course he needs a nap.? Then he didn’t get to sleep “on time” which made us get out of the house later than expected.? You see… we live where it gets dark at 4:00.? Child up at 2:00.? Wrangle child into outerwear and into the car 30 minutes.? Tree farm is 30 minutes away, but we need gas and coffee.? This only leaves a little less than an hour to hunt our tree.
You would think that after 12 or so years of us hunting our Christmas tree that we would have this down to a science.? Oh no.? It is still a major ordeal.? One that finds me so tired at the end of the day the smell of evergreens makes me want to throw up.? I’d rather be smelling chocolate at this point.
Here is what we should have done:
1. pick up saw from tree guy.
2. walk out to tree forest.
3. cut down the first damn tree we said we liked.
Here’s what happened:
We get there and get our saw.? That part worked out well.? We saw a pretty tree right by the road the tractor drives along to cart the heavy ass trees to your car.? But did we cut that tree?? Noooo.?
We I had to find a prettier one.? So we wander.? Mind you I swear this is worlds largest tree farm.? And you know what.? Trees.? All tall, all green.? They look the fucking same.? Then there’s the kid.? That damn kid.? The trees are planted in rows and each row is raised just a wee bit.? This means if you walk perpendicular to the rows you walk up and down little hills.? The child flipped out.? As if the whole world should be flat just for him.? So every 3 feet he’s frozen in his tracks crying.? He wants us to carry him.? Not gonna happen my friend.? I have a coffee to drink.
We found a tree that we really liked, but of course
we I wanted to make sure there wasn’t anything better in the other 200 acres this place has.? And where did we end up.? The first tree we found (ok, not the first tree, but the one one the opposite end of the tree farm).? So there are these two idiots wandering around with a 3′ midget following them crying every 3′.
Our tree officially weighs 400 pounds and it took 3 men to heft it onto the roof of our truck.? The trunk is so big we had to go buy a new stand.? But at this moment… it is lit (with 700 lights) and mostly decorated.? We had to cut a few inches off the top to make it fit, but it’s pretty.