While I relaxed at a massage a few weeks ago my mind wandered. I tried to simply be, but as always that is a less than comfortable feeling for me. I tried not to think about the things that needed to be done, if my child was ok or how I was going to cope. Instead I thought about me. Novel concept. I rarely take the time in life to think about me. Everything that I do is for someone else. My son, my husband, my friends, or family. I feel a sense of guilt if I take the time to do something for me or even do something as simple as painting my fingernails. However, this time was different. I reflected on the state of my mental health. It was poor. I was tired, cranky and wearing thin. As Anne put it, on the verge of the mommy apocalypse. I didn’t want to travel down that road. Sure, I’d fallen into the hole, but this time I didn’t bring my shovel. I had a bit of an epiphany, laying on the table.
It is something I’ve always wanted to try. I have heard so many good things.
So June 26th I ventured out into the world of Oriental Medicine. I have seen the light and it is bright and shining. It is a happy place. I am smiling. I am enjoying my son. I am laughing. I haven’t felt this good in years.
I have had so many stories to tell you guys over the past few weeks. I have refrained because I wanted to make sure this was the real deal. Not some half-baked idea that I thought was good at the time. This is it ladies and gents. I am a changed woman. The depth of how screwed up my body was is difficult to describe without you all thinking I am nuttier than you already do. It all has to do with Qi*, yin and yang, and at the very core what is called the Body Blues. If you are interested in hearing about the ins and outs of Oriental Medicine please, just ask. I would be happy to explain it.
For now I am having bi-monthly acupuncture treatments and taking herbs. I have no clue what all the herbs are, but I drink them in the form of tea and it tastes like ass. So. many. funny. stories.
Basically the water element of my body wasn’t working and at the very heart of that element is the endometriosis. Who knew the root cause of my infertility was what was screwing me up so badly.
I also recommend the book, When Your Body Gets the Blues, by Marie-Annette Brown and Jo Robinson. I will write a whole post about this soon. It is amazing that so many women suffer just like me and don’t really get it.
Within a week of my first treatment I was calmer, the noise in my head quieted and I was a much nicer person. The drawback here is that with the depressive state I lived in I had no interest in food. Now that my body is getting balanced I have rekindled my love of food. I think I’ve gained 5 lbs in the past week.
Look out world… Elle’s back. She’s kickin’ ass and taking names. Ok, maybe I’ll just meditate quietly next to you.