Strange Family Contest: Finale

Note to my mother and other concerned readers:

I have been to the Dr. for migranes.? Because of the type I get there is nothing that can really be done for me.? If you will read this post you will note that it is a run its course type of thing and avoid the triggers (which would be stress in my case).? Major stress does terrible things to me including migranes and irregular heart beat, but at least that year of therapy got me past wanting to up and quit my job at a moments notice.

On to the fun stuff.? Oh, and for John, I’ll go head to head with you on the Redneck family contest too.? The directions to my Uncle’s house include turn off the paved road and to get to my grandparents you turn at the big fish sign.? Boo yah!

The entries were fantastic and yes, it was like a train wreck.? I just had to keep reading.? But I have one more story that usually puts me over the edge.


Aunt and Uncle have 4 boys and 1 girl.? It’s a hers, his and ours kinda deal.? All except one have had some sort of trouble.? 3 of the 5 have been incarcerated, one for (I believe armed robbery).? Prior to his jail time cousin and his girlfried were living together and girlfriend ended up pregnant.? Turns out girlfriend was a crack head and cousin wasn’t much better.? Girlfriend took off and cousin couldn’t take care of baby.? Aunt and Uncle took baby so baby wouldn’t end up in foster care.? Aunt and Uncle went through the process to formally adopt baby.? This makes baby the sister of her father and Aunt and Uncle are mom and dad/grandma and grandpa.? Although she calls them mom and dad and I’m not sure if she knows they are really her grandparents.

This and the other stories I’ve put forth are going up against the following tales:

A. Lurker: Troubled cousin moves in with family. Cousin proceeds to: choke one brother (who was barely in double digits) at least once and threaten to have our parents killed if she squeals on her shenanigans; accuse another brother of rape once when mad at him to later, when pressed, say, ?Oh that? I was just mad at him.?; seduce NA sponsor?s husband; steal one of my formal dresses, use it as a nightgown and destroy it, then claim so convincingly that her mother gave it to her before she moved in (she wasn?t even a teen) with my folks that I nearly believe her; when visiting me, makes out with a low-self-esteem classmate (enough that he avoided me and wore sunglasses), then apparently stalks said classmate the remainder of the visit and call-stalks when she returns home to my parents; sends me into my first uber-depression, to the point I didn?t want to wake up the next day; runs away with multiple 40-plus-year-olds (as a teen) but claims she doesn?t have a father complex; wants to have a baby so bad as a pre-driving teen that my mother convinces a doctor to give cousin ?THE shot? (not just A shot) without telling her; winds up in numerous juvy halls, with escalating levels of security; gets pregnant, uses meth and marijuana and such while pregnant, video tapes the graphics of childbirth and wants to show the world; starts stripping soon after childbirth; leaves child with random folks, eventually runs off, child?s father leaves 3-month-old baby with my parents, my parents end up adopting and raising said child, who is mere months older than my eldest, thus making my parents new parents/grandparents at the same time, and in effect making this kid my sister/niece/cousin/second cousin; cousin discovers baby not with baby daddy (baby daddy realized he wasn?t able to handle the situation and did a smart thing), cousin is mad and thinks my parents stole said child, and I get to worry whether cousin?s ?buddies? will ever help her with retribution; said cousin was eventually imprisoned under kidnapping (of an adult) charges, which she denies participating in. But lordy knows there?s something out there she didn?t get caught for. She now claims reformation ? and regrets all the scars she caused, but in the meanwhile ? she caused some doozies.



my cousin got pregnant and then married the father?a military guy (husband/guy #1). they had baby #1.she was 20. when the hubby was stationed overseas (6 months into the marriage), she cheated on him with another guy (guy #2) and moved in with him and divorced her first husband.

while she was with guy #2, she cheated on him and became pregnant with baby #2, but never told him that he wasn?t the father. they eventually split up, but his name was on baby #2?s birth certificate.

in the meantime, guy #2 took up with another girl, but she found out he was cheating on her and shot him with my cousin?s gun. guy #2 is now paralyzed from the neck down and lives in a nursing home.

cousin then moved and met another military guy who she then married (husband/guy #3)and he loved her kids as his own. in fact, he adopted baby #2 from the paralyzed supposed father. they then had another baby?baby #3.

so, 3 kids with 3 different fathers so far.

well, then, husband #3 got really sick and my cousin could not handle it?so, she cheated on him. he found out and went a little psycho but decided they should try to work it out and stay together.

wait?it gets better. they come down to stay at my house with the 2 younger children so that my cousin can go to her high school reunion. husband #3 decides to stay home with us. well, 4:00 in the morning rolls around and cousin is still not home, so hubby #3 starts to freak out. eventually, we see a car roll up my street and park a block away. hubby #3 starts to go outside to see if it is her and I talk him out of it?instead, I go!! and yes, you guessed it?she was in the car with some guy having sex with him!!

I opened the car door and yanked her out and told her to get dressed and in the house. In the meantime, hubby #3 is running around my house looking for a baseball bat. that was a fun night let me tell you!!

Needless to say, I don?t talk to my cousin any longer?but, I do still keep in touch with her ex-hubby #3. She is now re-married and has 2 more children with the new guy!!

Your job, dear readers, is to pass judgement on who has the strangest family.? All of my stories or either of these two single stories.? If either of the two beat me I will bring back a gift from my upcoming vacation to a really cool place for the winner.? If I win… well, I get to continue my bragging rights of I have the strangest family.? Leave your comments…now.

11 Comment

  1. i would love to do a redneck one. we have relatives that live on gravel pit road. before we knew they lived on gravel pit road we stole gravel off of gravel pit road to take to our camper.

    my sister waited to break up with a guy because she knew he was getting a tattoo on the inside of his lip. the day he got the tattoo she broke up with him because she knew he could not say anything back to her.

  2. Elle says: Reply

    I have uncles named Chester, Ricky (no joke) and Shawn Wayne (yes, after John Wayne). I also have grandparents Myrtle and Melvin. They are a couple.

  3. Wait…is “Ricky” a funny name? If so, that’s amusing to me. I’ll have to get back with you on my vote…

  4. Tricia says: Reply

    I’ll vote for you Elle. Mostly because it’s not just one weird family member … you seem to have a collection. And accordingly, should win “Strange FAMILY Contest”.

    A Lurker’s story is just too confusing for me to follow (also I’m not a good reader of long books).

    I would like to give honorable mention to Anonymous because the story of her cousin is so well written, easy to follow and it really kept me in suspense through the whole thing. Love the ending of her finding her cousin having sex in the car on high school reunion night. Classy!

  5. Raissa says: Reply

    I have the story to top all, even though I know you are no longer accepting stories. This guy I know comes from the strangest family I’ve ever heard of. His parents have been married 35 years and have two children, each of whom are married to their college sweethearts and have two children each. H’s grandparents have been married 62 years and they had two children. His other grandparents have been married over 30 years and they have two children. So H has two aunts, each of whom has been married about twenty years. The two aunts have one blond son each.

    No one is in jail, rehab, divorce, criminal or civil court, has ever been arrested or mugged. Everyone has a good credit rating and they are all attractive looking. Their worst nightmare, straying from the Lutheran church, happened when his sister became a Jew–they still suffer through Easters–and their grandchildren went unbaptized. They are bunch of freaks, and I’m married to one of them!

  6. Tricia says: Reply

    LOL for Raissa’s post! That is strange!

  7. I think Raissa wins.

  8. Jenny says: Reply

    While’s R’s made me laugh the most, I’d have to vote for A. Lurker, although it’s a VERY close call.

  9. Wendy says: Reply

    Raissa wins in my book. That is just plain WEIRD! Too bad she submitted after the deadline. I guess that means Elle wins. Besides all the stories she has told, the fact that her own mother posts a comment on her blog telling her to see a doctor just cracks me up!

  10. Lena says: Reply

    Look what happens when you go to a remote Norwegian cabin with no connection to the internet. You miss stuff!!!

    All crazy stories in my book, all entries get winning votes from me.

  11. I don’t think I should have a vote – I’ve met most of the people in Elle’s stories! I think it’s going to have to be a three way tie – I can’t imagine trying to top any of those three!

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