shitty ending to an otherwise lovely day*

*Now with photographic enhancements (see below)

I did something totally out of the ordinary for me. ?I took the initiative and invited a mom and her son over for a playdate today. ?I’m not really the playdate kinda mom. ?I was raised in the world of go outside and make friends in your neighborhood. ?Today, play is scheduled and contrived. ?However, I get along really well with this mom and since I can’t work in the afternoons because if I turn my back on the dog she will tear my house apart, I get bored. ?I was craving adult conversation so I invited her and her son over.

Now you are asking, where is she going with this?

Hold on, I’ll get there.

So playdate. ?Done and done. ?Lovely time. ?Trusty FIL calls and asks if we would like to have dinner. ?Sure! ?I don’t really want to cook so why not. ?They arrive, lovely dinner. ?We peruse the mall and the boy gets a new stuffed dog, I get a new dress for the upcoming fancy dinner. ?Lovely in-laws they are. ?On the way home I ask the (in this case not so) trusty husband if he remembered his keys. ?I actually said it as kind of a joke. ?He felt around in his pockets. ?No… ?? ?WTF NO? ?No? ?you never forget your keys. ?”don’t you have yours he asks?” ?Um, hello, am I driving the car? ?Do I ever have my keys when I’m not driving? ?Hells no. ?No keys.

This is the point where all of the strangers and stalkers take note. ?90% of the time our back bathroom window is open. ?It is the laundry room/cat room and often smells bad so we just keep the window ajar (with the ajar lock on of course). ?However, December was an unusually cold month and I (in my infinite wisdom) closed it. ?And locked it. ?Of course then there was that time on New Year’s Day when I tried to set my oven on fire and we opened every window in the house, but then we closed them all once the air had cleared… and locked them.

The trusty FIL, the (not so) trusty husband and I jimmied every screen off trying to find an unlocked window. ?Nada. ?Then we contemplated which window would be cheapest to break. ?The consensus was the back bathroom window, but I talked them out of it. ?Gawd I’m dumb. ?Finally we called a locksmith. ?30 minutes of sitting in the car with a getting tired and really loud little boy the dude showed up. ?$35 just to show up at our house + another $179 to break into our house. ?Of course (again in my infinite wisdom) I bought a high quality lock when we rekeyed our house so the guy had to drill out the doorknob.

If that wasn’t enough we went to pay the guy and his credit card machine was broken. ?He couldn’t have told us that on his way here so while we were waiting we could have gone to get some cash? ?Um no. ?So cash was procured and the guy was finally paid. ?Now we have to go buy a new doorknob on top of everything else. ?Because I sure as hell wasn’t spending the $90 that rip-off artist wanted to charge me for a new knob. ?Fucker. ?Yeah, I said it.