Lack of comments makes me re-evaluate my site on some days. I know there are readers. My reader base continually grows each month. I am tired of pimping myself for comments. I started this whole blogging thing as a way to update family on our adoption process. Life of Elle grew out of saving my family from further Elle crazies. They already think I’m a bit nutty so why give them further fodder. Problem is they followed me here. I don’t know why I continue to write. It is just something I do. There is the giant faceless mass living in my computer that I picture as my audience. I suppose I forge ahead to give a voice to the mom. Moreover a voice to the mother of an internationally adopted child.
My goal is to be real. To be honest. To give a reality check that it isn’t this perfect little world. My life is far from perfect.
Rhonda had a post this morning about the death of Ruth Graham. While I am not a huge Graham family follower her husband has had many a poignant sermon in the past. For 64 years this woman stood along side him and supported her family. Ruth was a real woman.
Through teary eyes Rhonda wished she could be more like Ruth. My question is, why not? What made Ruth Graham so special?
We all have the potential to be real women. Not that we are fake women to begin with. To me being a real woman is being honest with ourselves first and foremost. Don’t cover up what you are. Embrace life, your family and your body. If you are overweight and don’t like it… do something about it. If you don’t feel beautiful… look in the mirror. I bet if you look long enough you will find something that you like. If you are depressed (like me)… open your eyes. Find the beauty in the world around you. But most of all don’t keep your mouth closed. Don’t hide beneath your feelings, two hundred pounds of make-up or baggy clothes. Accept who you are and move forward. That is what makes you a real woman.
If you write, write about your life in an honest voice.
I suffer from depression. It is in the form of Seasonl Affect Disorder. I realize that publicly saying this may jeopardize any future children I may adopt. I admit it and embrace it. It is horrible and debilitating some days. There are weeks that I fail to see joy in my son’s bright and shining eyes. I look out my window and don’t see the vibrant purples and pinks of my window boxes. I see plants that need water and I don’t have the energy to water them. It is real. This is who I am.
I struggle as a mother, as a wife, a daughter, a friend. I know it. I am working to improve it. Life isn’t easy. Whether you are living with depression or not. Either way, as real women we should let others know that it isn’t all wine and roses. That is what makes us more like Ruth Graham.