Real Women

Lack of comments makes me re-evaluate my site on some days. I know there are readers. My reader base continually grows each month. I am tired of pimping myself for comments. I started this whole blogging thing as a way to update family on our adoption process. Life of Elle grew out of saving my family from further Elle crazies. They already think I’m a bit nutty so why give them further fodder. Problem is they followed me here. I don’t know why I continue to write. It is just something I do. There is the giant faceless mass living in my computer that I picture as my audience. I suppose I forge ahead to give a voice to the mom. Moreover a voice to the mother of an internationally adopted child.

My goal is to be real. To be honest. To give a reality check that it isn’t this perfect little world. My life is far from perfect.

Rhonda had a post this morning about the death of Ruth Graham. While I am not a huge Graham family follower her husband has had many a poignant sermon in the past. For 64 years this woman stood along side him and supported her family. Ruth was a real woman.

Through teary eyes Rhonda wished she could be more like Ruth. My question is, why not? What made Ruth Graham so special?

We all have the potential to be real women. Not that we are fake women to begin with. To me being a real woman is being honest with ourselves first and foremost. Don’t cover up what you are. Embrace life, your family and your body. If you are overweight and don’t like it… do something about it. If you don’t feel beautiful… look in the mirror. I bet if you look long enough you will find something that you like. If you are depressed (like me)… open your eyes. Find the beauty in the world around you. But most of all don’t keep your mouth closed. Don’t hide beneath your feelings, two hundred pounds of make-up or baggy clothes. Accept who you are and move forward. That is what makes you a real woman.

If you write, write about your life in an honest voice.

I suffer from depression. It is in the form of Seasonl Affect Disorder. I realize that publicly saying this may jeopardize any future children I may adopt. I admit it and embrace it. It is horrible and debilitating some days. There are weeks that I fail to see joy in my son’s bright and shining eyes. I look out my window and don’t see the vibrant purples and pinks of my window boxes. I see plants that need water and I don’t have the energy to water them. It is real. This is who I am.

I struggle as a mother, as a wife, a daughter, a friend. I know it. I am working to improve it. Life isn’t easy. Whether you are living with depression or not. Either way, as real women we should let others know that it isn’t all wine and roses. That is what makes us more like Ruth Graham.

16 Comment

  1. Rhonda says: Reply

    Absolutely we can all be more like her. I wish I had her incredible faith. And the truth is that I can, so I need to quit wishing and crack open my Bible hit my knees.

    I think, as I am heading to the 30s, I’m getting more comfortable in my skin. I say and do things and I don’t worry so much what people think anymore. Last night, I considered deleting that entry because it wasn’t typical to my blog, and I thought, “Its MY blog. I’ll put whatever I want to on it.”

  2. I have no idea who Ruth Graham is but I believe that we all need to strive to be genuine. My 30’s has really been the time that I feel like I’ve stopped wanting to please others and start pleasing myself. I have stopped worrying about what others think (for the most part) and starting contemplating what I think.

  3. Esther says: Reply

    Great post. And speaking of “hiding behind 200 pounds” as you just wrote, I blogged about obesity yesterday and today.

    It’s good to get real! Kudos!

  4. You know I am for ‘realness’ … in part, because through all of your blogs, you’ve helped me see that it’s OKAY to be real! Sometimes it’s difficult to be 150% honest on my blog, because (like yours), my family and friends read all the time. And sometimes I’m afraid of what everyone will think, if they see the ‘real’ me…but like Rhonda said, it’s MY blog! Anyway, thanks for all your posts…I don’t always get a chance to comment, but I do read! 🙂

  5. Rebecca says: Reply

    Hi Elle,
    Beautiful Blog today. I read you every day just because I do find you so real and sometimes you will say something that I have been silently thinking and I’ll think, yeah thats right, she’s on to something.
    I suffer from depression too. On and off. Sometimes anxiety. I’m pregnant at the moment, so no medication for me. I found myself crying in the hall the other day and my son (two years old) looking up at me so confused. Its so hard to balance who we are with who they need us to be.
    Take care!

  6. I couldn’t comment yesterday as I don’t have a husband or significant other. By the way, more pics of the boy would elicit many more “Awwww how cute” comments. (wink)

    Keep up the writing/blogging for nothing else than your personal outlet.


  7. I have never told my family about my blog because I don’t want them reading it – I definitely wouldn’t feel I could be my honest self if I knew what I said would likely become gossip fodder at the next family get-together. And I love your blog because it’s real, it’s funny, it’s interesting, it’s poignant… and I bet those are all words that would describe you too. 🙂

  8. Dana says: Reply

    Oh, so many things to comment on.

    Don’t stop blogging. I told you I check for new posts like six times a day. I thought the post yesterday was really good. I’m not in the position yet to tell you how we parent. Any day now would be nice, though. Mrs. Broccoli Guy has a good point about not telling her family. I think I’m pretty real on my blog except for the fact that I say “Sheeyat” and drop the F bomb quite occasionally in real life. But my very devout parents and pastor read it so I have to be careful what I say. Also, everybody I work with so there goes the “I hate my co-worker stories”. I’ve also suffered depression and anxiety (goes along with my OCD) and it sucks beyond belief.

    Ruth Graham truly was a remarkable woman. I do want to be more like her. As my husband tells his students (that are usually in his office because they’re in trouble) we all have choices. I’m fairly certain where Ruth’s choices have led her and I know at this point of my life where my choices will lead me. The question is, when am I going to do something about it?

  9. Nicole says: Reply

    I am reading. I just dont get to you every day.

    Honesty helps. I tend to keep things more on the surface on my blog. But I dont go deep with folks I dont know anyway.

  10. Ronda Farrell says: Reply

    Your honesty is wonderful, something I look forward to when my day is bouncing along an uneven path. I stumbled upon your blog just as you lost your first referral. It terrified me. I had nightmares but I came back. And you and your DH kept plugging along towards the beautiful little Pickle. Please keep it up Elle. We’re right here behind you even if you can’t always see us.

  11. Lauri says: Reply

    Great post… I am all for being real… write from your heart… we are all here reading

  12. Mom says: Reply

    Being the most faithful follower of yours and most likely the oldest, I find your writing fascinating. Sometimes mothers are unaware of the mystery’s that surround their daughters. Reading about your thoughts
    and feelings always makes me feel closer to you but sometimes it saddens me too. Knowledge is empowerment and you have that gift. Your voice is not alone when it comes to depression… but a lot find shame in admitting it. Why? The numbers are staggering on how many people suffer with something that can be totally debilitating. Kudos to you for speaking out! I have watched you grow in so many ways these past few years and couldn’t be prouder of your accomplishments. Putting our thoughts on paper can open mystery’s for ones self…ones that maybe we just don’t like to say out loud. Never suffer alone when you have people you can reach out to. Black holes can be filled!!! I love you more then you will ever know.

  13. Jeralynn says: Reply

    I like that you’re real, and I think you’re great. Your mom is right. Count me in when it comes to those who have shameful “debilities” (probably not a real word). All we can do is keep moving on, doing the very best we can (not nearly as easy as it sounds). I love your blog. You better not stop writing it.

  14. serena says: Reply

    I try to make comments, but there is a one sidedness to it. Maybe because I don’t have a blog.

    You are very brave to share your depression. Its something I know something about from various experiences. Thankfully we live in a time where there is so much more help and accepting attitudes toward it.

  15. Great post Elle. We do indeed need to be honest, especially on our blogs. It’s always funny to me how people usually couch their words so that they don’t appear to be this way or that way – as if the opinions of total strangers really matters. I’m guilty of this myself sometimes too.

    We can be the greatest support to each other if we are honest. No matter what ails you, you are sure to find at least one person who’s been there too.

  16. Jenny2 says: Reply

    Elle, Bravo.

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