In recent weeks I?ve gone back and read past posts. I have read them here, Adoption Adventure, and at Unexpected Miracles. You know what? I used to be one funny lady. What happened? I think my utter exhaustion from chasing a toddler around my house has caught up to me. Maybe it is because I am just that loony while under great amounts of stress? So let?s compare stress shall we.
The unknown of when the heck I was going to finally be a mom. Last minute requests for paperwork. Dealing with a social worker who was a complete moron (and that is being nice). Freaking out because I had no clue what kind of diapers to buy, what size shoes to buy or thinking that I just didn?t have enough stuff for this child. The loss of a referral. 3 trips to Russia. The cost of 3 trips to Russia. 2 weeks notice to travel. Knowing that I was leaving my home, my family, my pets for 3 weeks and knowing that at the end of it I would be responsible for another human life.
Sound stressful? It was. It was the kind of stress that was totally out of my control. Akin to something like getting shoved down an elevator shaft and not knowing if there were pillows at the bottom to cushion your fall.
We won?t look at all the stress I have been under since we got home. Things like temper tantrums, food issues and the dreaded rocking. Instead we?ll focus on all the crap I have gotten myself into in the coming month.
High School youth group progressive dinner. Christmas Shopping (or making of gifts). Husband?s music performances at church. Christmas decorating and the annual tree hunt. Family arriving from out of town who have never met the boy. A good friend?s 40th birthday party. Meeting my best friend from high school for lunch. Date night with my husband (we have Rockapella tickets!!) Christmas Cookie Day with mom. oh and making $700 worth of candy, gift boxing it, and shipping it all before December 11th. And last but not least… work.
My December Post-Adoption stress is more of the stress I can control. I have the power to say, “you know Jose… I love you dearly and wish you a very happy birthday, but I just can?t make the party.” But of course that would mean giving up taking my child to see one of his friends who he loves to play with and one rocking Christmas party thrown by 2 great people. I could put up fewer decorations this year for Christmas, but will that happen? Um, my son?s first Christmas… We?ll rival Martha herself.
Instead, I plan on asking for help. Mainly from my Mom. The saint of a lady offered to help me make chocolates. If I could kiss her through the phone I would have. I plan on enjoying the holidays this year. Last year I wanted to crawl under a rock and hide. This year I am going to have fun dammit. I can rest in January.
Yeah… Elle rest. Not likely.