PMS mine enemy

Since the onset of seeing the acupuncturist my mood has mellowed out.? I yell less, I get frustrated less.? Basically I’m a happy person.? But there are times when there is nothing in the world that will make things better.? Doesn’t matter how many B vitamins I gobble down, how much 5-HTP I take or how much ass tea I drink.? Nothing helps.? I wake up in the morning and hate the world.? It doesn’t help that heavy doses of allergy medication still doesn’t keep the post nasal drip at bay either.? So imagine being cranky, feeling like you want to jump out of your skin, your hands ache and you need to shove kleenex up your nose just for 5 minutes of relief.? That is basically me.? And that feeling will last for the next 3 days.

I have yet to find something that cures this.? It is possible that a trip to somewhere warm and sans my child might do the trick, but seeing as I have no money or airline miles that isn’t likely to happen.? Hell, I’d even settle for a trip to the fabric store without the child.? Because frankly, I want to sell him on Ebay.? Better yet, why don’t I sell myself on Ebay.

For Sale: One slightly bitchy cranky moody unique woman.

Likes to iron.? Cooks fantastic meals and won’t nag you to take out the garbage.? (although if you don’t it might end up in your car one day)? Generally pleasant with only mild monthly side effects.? Rather small, but cute.? Handy around the house and comes with own tools.? Not afraid to build a deck or climb on a roof.? Enjoys sports and plays golf.? Prefers action movies to chick flicks.

Price: an occasional Louis Vuitton handbag.

14 Comment

  1. Sold!

  2. Shoot, that posted before I got to finish with something about how it’s nice & warm here, and how I could overlook your uniqueness (haha) if you can overlook mine. Oh, and if you really do come with tools!!

  3. Jenny says: Reply

    Up the anty, to a few LVs…Guccis, YSL, Pradas…etc.

    You can never have enough names in a purse!

  4. DebiP says: Reply

    what no shoes….

  5. Elle says: Reply

    Will work for a Burberry. But I don’t do windows or vacuum.

  6. Tricia says: Reply

    come to san diego and chill out. someone needs to try out the hot tub with me for the first time this year… (michael will be inside babysitting rita since he doesn’t like to drink wine)

    oh, and i’m not suggesting anything kinky for any of you with a dirty mind out there. knowing that i’m posting on the internets and all…

  7. No one else can have you! I still want you, PMS and all…

  8. Lena says: Reply

    Yeah for Captain Smartypants!

  9. mom says: Reply

    Don’t worry…the sun is apt to make an appearance again soon but the allergy’s…your attacks make the war in Iraq look like child’s play! Keep the kid…he’s too cute for E bay and you can’t be bought or sold. There’s only one Elle and none of us are giving you up. What a goof!!!

  10. Jenny says: Reply

    Swanilda, you had me until the handbag. Then you were sadly out of my reach. But perhaps we can schedule a time where I can monitor boy at your place while you escape for a bit. Or we can just drink some wine and call it good.

  11. Lauri says: Reply

    What’s the starting bid? any reserve? do you allow returns?

    I may bid on you just for your cooking, craft & gardening skills…

  12. kim says: Reply

    I would buy ya, Elle, if I had any cash. I have no ideas, to help with the monthly monster….sorry

  13. Kris says: Reply

    Sounds to me like you are selling yourself too cheaply. Only 1 PURSE?? Far too cheaply. 😉

  14. Amy says: Reply


    Any chance you want to share any of your recipes? your weekly menu always makes my mouth water!

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