This is not me. I am a very patient person. My mother told me that all the time as a child. I can create the most intricate little things, I take on projects that take weeks (they never get finished because of my extremely short attention span) and I have yet to really lose my cool when the boy acts out in a public place. My theory… I?ll never see these people again in my life.
I have found something that truly tests my patience down to the very core. Potty Training. This one little act of mommyhood is going to be the end of me. As you may know my child is extremely verbal. Ironic since he supposedly has a “speech delay.” I figure he just didn?t want to be bothered with learning Russian. Anyway, the verbal and the potty training, I?ll get to that in a minute. The boy gets fixated on the potty. I am not allowed to use the toilet on my own. He tries to see how the “evacuation process” works. Yes he bends down and tries to use his super human toddler skills to see through the potty. The kid loves the potty. He wants to flush the potty, use the paper, sit on the potty and talk to it constantly.
So… I?m sitting here this morning and the boy is playing nicely. I?m enjoying some quiet and all of a sudden I turn around and there is my son with his pj?s down around his ankles. (I have photos) He has unzipped his pj?s and is walking around with them still on. His diaper is sagging a little because we moved him up to a size 4 and they are just a hair too big. He then starts to laugh. I?m crying with laughter and jump out of my chair to grab my camera. He then proceeds to remove the pj?s and fling them about the house. Better than food! So I figure he isn?t hurting anything and I let him run around in a diaper for a while. Aren?t I the best mom evah? This is until he tries to fling he jammies at Christmas ornaments I am trying to carefully pack away. Jammies get taken away. His diaper is starting to look a little too saggy so I think Hey! Let?s try those training underpants that Jake gave us. So I slap some of those on him and away he goes. I have video. I never let him run around mostly unclothed so he thinks this is great.
Now, I?m in the laundry room and I hear “pee-pee.” I turn around and he has peed. Well, now is as good of time as any to start the potty training. I whip out the seat again and sit him down. We have a boy sized conversation about pee pee potty, no pee pee pants. Clean undies and now dressed I let him “run free” again. He then tells me “pee-pee.” Back to the potty. See how my life is all about the repetition. Same conversation. Now I?m out of the handy training undies. I resort to swanky Furry Red Muppet real big boy underpants. Now to my two year old this is pretty cool. He does really well. Dry for almost an hour. I put him on the potty before I start to make lunch and he doesn?t go. Not two minutes later we are standing in the kitchen and I hear “oh no.” I look to see my angelic son standing in a puddle of his own urine. I explain accidents happen and we head back to the bathroom. I have got to clean that room if I am going to spend all day in there.
So why does this try my patience so? The boy does nothing but talk on the potty. “Potty, pee-pee, no no no, paper, flush, all done, down please.” all of these words in random order and constant. He loves to sit on the potty, but I have no clue if he is even making the connection that the potty is where you pee. I so badly want to stick it out this time. We?ve tried twice before and I have given up. Give me some pointers Pleeeeeese! I am doing the pee in the pants immediately onto the potty. Pull-ups for naptime and public outings otherwise undies or training undies. reading to him. and other things I?ve read. I draw the line at candy or food as a reward. Not good for a PI kid. He wants to flush the potty and use the paper so that is his reward. Otherwise my water bill will be sky high. I tell you this potty training thing requires the patience of a saint.