Anonymous Boxer had the idea to post what is on your bulletin board. I took her up on the offer. Mostly because I don’t have much else to post about. So here you go. This is the bulletin board above my desk. I had to stand up to take the photo because one of my monitors blocks the bottom. So from where I sit I can’t see that photo of my family, or the photo of Alexander.
The past few weeks have not been fun in the parenting department around here. Our sweet lovey little boy had turned into a bit of a pill to deal with. Transitions have been extra tough and we’ve seen a return of the food throwing. We could tell the child we were going to a candy factory and he’d scream about it. He’s been a total cling-bot and won’t be more than 2 steps away from us in any public place. It’s been trying to say the least.
One of the congregation members at our church was so sweet yesterday and let me unload all of this onto her. I felt bad for taking up so much of her time, but she listened with grace and reassured me that everything was going to be ok. Both she and a co-worker said to see what the doctor had to say about his behaviors and seek extra help if need be. You know things aren’t quite right when I would consider such a thing.
This morning we had the boy’s 4 year check-up and yes, he screamed the whole way there, cried in the waiting room and in the exam room. Of course I don’t like going to the doctor either so that was understandable. I spent some time talking with the doctor about the reaccurance of food throwing and this new Ultra McScreamy behavior and he helped to put my fears at ease.
It isn’t so much that I don’t believe what other moms, grandmoms or friends have to say. What people don’t remember is that not only do we deal with typical 4 year old we also have the added layer of Post Institutionalization. I don’t want to throw that around at every little bitch and moan the boy has, but it is something we always have to keep in mind.
The doctor’s verdict is that yes, this is the boy being 4, but with a twist. He still holds fast to the boy being exceptionally bright. There may have even been mention of starting kindergarten next year (not going to happen at this point). At each stage in his development his senses and everything change. Therefore he must go through the whole process of testing the limits to make sure everything is still the same. His advice… parent as we always have. This may sound like a big fat duh, and some of you are probably going, “um, I told you so.” (Please don’t say that to me, I may smack you) What you have to realize is that while I am a creative person, I’m also very analytical. I have to know why and how it works. The way the doctor explained it made me understand better than the, “he’s just being 4,” answer. This is the same reason we took him to the adoption specialist with similar behavioral issues.
So onto how the rest of the check up went.
His legs are growing like crazy. The kid is all legs, skinny as they may be. Hernia surgery recovery 100% perfect (yay! Russian doctors). Blood levels are above average for a 4 year old so he’s well nourished (yay me).
He weighs 29 1/2 lbs (in the 6th percentile)
and is 38 1/2 inches tall (12th percentile
He’s still small for his age, but is growing and that is what matters.
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And while you’re at it… check out these costumed cuties.
I long for the quiet days of September. Those days where I can say, hey, let’s go work in the yard. Every weekend in October has been filled with one thing or another. Birthday parties, hockey, fundraiser dinners, you name it.
This weekend is no exception. The following are things I have to do this weekend that require my participation. They are actually fun things, but my brain is so taxed with things like breathing it makes it difficult to get excited.
This morning I get to figure out how to extract my child from a school field trip to the pumpkin patch without screaming about it or kicking me. I was unsuccessful last year.
This evening I am helping to host a bridal shower for a co-worker. I agreed to take photos of the guests and assemble a scrapbook of the event. This will require a great deal of Photoshop skillz since I suck at people pictures.
Tomorrow is Hockey, but while the boys are having fun with that I will be at the Herban Cafe hanging my last minute piece for an art show that night.
That evening I will be going to said art show. Someone will be my date. I don’t know who yet.
Sunday… more hockey.
I’m tired already.
or
You think we would have learned by now
It has become very apparent that I totally suck at birthdays. The last party that I pulled off to my satisfaction was my own 30th. I don’t know if that was because it was my own party or a complete fluke. For the trusty husband’s 30th we had a great party, but guests were waiting forever to be fed. I suppose the boy’s party last year wasn’t that bad. Probably because I bought the cake rather than thinking I could actually make one.
This year I thought I would get all crafty and shit and make the boy’s cake. Oh how I will never do that again. My cake idea was good in theory and taste, but poor in execution. Let’s just go with stacking pre-frosted cupcake tops does not work however cute you think it might be. Moving on.
In all honesty we had a lovely little family party for the boy Sunday afternoon. He played well with his “siblings” and was exhausted by the end.
Monday morning I get an email from Heather saying that EEE! was sick and throwing up. Fantastic. The boy had been coughing with a little bit of a cold and I thought things would be fine. Really. I didn’t call Kathou to tell her about EEE! because I didn’t want to put any additional stress on her prior to her leaving the country for 10 days.
Yesterday was the boy’s actual birthday and we started our day long celebration with breakfast at Knapp’s. The boy chowed down 1/4 of a giant waffle and a huge glass of apple juice. We got home and prepared to get ready for the day and he proclaims, “I have to go poop.”
“Fine,” I said. “you know where the toilet is.”
Two seconds later he comes into my office and says, “uh oh Mommy, something happened.”
The child had no warning and had a small accident. This wouldn’t have been so bad if the utility workers up the street hadn’t accidentally turned our water off at the very second I went to flush the toilet. Had I mentioned that neither the trusty husband or I had showered? I attributed the accident to the giant glass of apple juice as the boy was acting fine.
The child picked at his lunch, eating only mostly apples and then pitched a fit when we said it was time for nap. He eventually passed out and was pleasent when he woke up. We piled into the car for our annual Birthday trip to the Pumpkin Patch. About 2 miles from our house the boy says, “OW! My tummy hurts.” This here is what we call forshadowing.
He still was insistant on Starbucks so we stopped to go potty and grab a snack. The mommy warning flags started going up when he didn’t eat the bit of cookie we gave him. He still seemed happy and excited to go the the Pumpkin Patch so continuted on. The trusty in-laws called asking if we’d like to have dinner with them since we’d be in the area. I had plans to make dinner at home, but figured this would be an opportunity to go to one of my favorite restaurants in Olympia so I agreed.
Wheelbarrow rides and sloshing through the mud and 80+ pounds of Pumpkin later we were back in the car on the way to the trusty in-laws. Boy is fine. Play fine for an hour and a half, but again pitches a fit when we tell him it’s time for dinner.
He finally eats a bit of the cookie in his cup holder and then starts crying on the way to the restaurant. He says his throat hurts. I ask if he feels ok and he says his tummy hurts again. We thought he swallowed a bit of sharp cookie since he said he didn’t have to go potty or throw up. All seems well, but something is not quite right about the situation.
We get to the restaurant and the boy colors for a while and then starts to get a little warm. He leaned on his dad and then wanted to lay down. He laid down in the booth between us with his head on the trusty husband’s lap. The child looked more and more pale, but never fell asleep. He also kept getting warmer and warmer. Dinner was good and when we were finished we quickly got ready to go. I said I had to go to the bathroom and at that moment the boy kind of started to cry. The trusty FIL said, “looks like he’s about ready to throw up.” I dismissed it thinking about the earlier incident in the car. I got up to go pee and 3 steps away from the table I hear, “ELLE!” I turn around to see this panic stricken look on my MIL’s face and round the booth to find my child covered in returned apple and sobbing. Damn it… the FIL was right.
The poor bus boy didn’t know what hit him when this crazy lady grabbed him and said, “Towels, lots of towels.”
Fortunately, the child only threw up the one time. However, he was covered from head to toe in puke. And it is a distinct possibility that we are invited to never go to Mercato again.
In the end my child was the ever present gift whore and was asking for his birthday gifts from his puny position on the sofa when we got home. We talked him into waiting for the morning.
What have I learned from this experience? Well… my child is incapable of throwing up closer than 20 miles from our home forcing us to drive like bats out of hell smelling like vomit and that when I think the child isn’t feeling that hot that we should just stay home.
Today we receive our new installation of Child 4.0. We finally are moving past previous versions of Toddler 3.0 and Toddler 3.5. We have been waiting for this upgrade like Windows Vista users are waiting for Windows 7. In the days leading up to the launch of Child 4.0 we have had a preview of what this new version has to offer.
Child 4.0 offers features such as “I did it!” and “Look at me.” The former is a handy quality when it comes to tasks such as jacket installation, however lacks charm when it comes to “I wiped my own butt.” Look at me is cute the first 3 times, but has an infinite feedback loop bug. This makes for a slightly annoyed mother unit especially when new users are present.
We also believe we have inadvertently paid for Child 4.0 “Ultimate Edition”. This particular model comes with plug-ins such as self name writing (that was actually installed in the interim Toddler 3.5 service pack). That trait comes in handy with things like thank you notes (because those 4 extra letters were giving me a cramp in my hand). Implied consent is also a feature that may be part of the advanced model. This feature is evidenced by “if I sit on the couch I can play with your hair clip” and “if I eat all of my dinner I can have a treat.”
Child 4.0 has fewer malfunctions than Toddler 3.0, but those that are present can be hazardous to users.
The first is the patch to the scream mechanism. It includes a freak-out mode with a baby talk or whine audible. Otherwise known as kick and punch and roll around on the ground while yelling, “no. I don wan.” We’ve tried clicking the ignore button, but the button punches back. We are still looking for the patch for this feature, but there seems to be none available.
We thought we had successfully reprogrammed the mealtime behavior protocols however Child 4.0 possesses an intermittent poor choice glitch, but still contains the excellent eating module. A sugar craving module is also present in this model.
Additional bonuses to Child 4.0 include excellent following direction skills, an upgrade in the self clean mechanism and an advanced problem solving algorithm.
Peripherals include upgraded puzzles and additional cars. The picking out his own shirt feature carries over from the previous installation. The shirt must now be void of stains and contain a picture of Choo-Choo-ma-Thomas or other train, a tractor or other wheeled vehicle. In the event that a shirt without a wheeled vehicle is present, Handy Manny will suffice.
Overall we are happy with the upgrade. We are just happy to recycle the Toddler 3.0 model.
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