On just being

The past few weeks have not been fun in the parenting department around here.? Our sweet lovey little boy had turned into a bit of a pill to deal with.? Transitions have been extra tough and we’ve seen a return of the food throwing.? We could tell the child we were going to a candy factory and he’d scream about it.? He’s been a total cling-bot and won’t be more than 2 steps away from us in any public place.? It’s been trying to say the least.

One of the congregation members at our church was so sweet yesterday and let me unload all of this onto her.? I felt bad for taking up so much of her time, but she listened with grace and reassured me that everything was going to be ok.? Both she and a co-worker said to see what the doctor had to say about his behaviors and seek extra help if need be.? You know things aren’t quite right when I would consider such a thing.

This morning we had the boy’s 4 year check-up and yes, he screamed the whole way there, cried in the waiting room and in the exam room.? Of course I don’t like going to the doctor either so that was understandable.? I spent some time talking with the doctor about the reaccurance of food throwing and this new Ultra McScreamy behavior and he helped to put my fears at ease.

It isn’t so much that I don’t believe what other moms, grandmoms or friends have to say.? What people don’t remember is that not only do we deal with typical 4 year old we also have the added layer of Post Institutionalization.? I don’t want to throw that around at every little bitch and moan the boy has, but it is something we always have to keep in mind.

The doctor’s verdict is that yes, this is the boy being 4, but with a twist.? He still holds fast to the boy being exceptionally bright.? There may have even been mention of starting kindergarten next year (not going to happen at this point).? At each stage in his development his senses and everything change.? Therefore he must go through the whole process of testing the limits to make sure everything is still the same.? His advice… parent as we always have.? This may sound like a big fat duh, and some of you are probably going, “um, I told you so.”? (Please don’t say that to me, I may smack you)? What you have to realize is that while I am a creative person, I’m also very analytical.? I have to know why and how it works.? The way the doctor explained it made me understand better than the, “he’s just being 4,” answer.? This is the same reason we took him to the adoption specialist with similar behavioral issues.

So onto how the rest of the check up went.

His legs are growing like crazy.? The kid is all legs, skinny as they may be.? Hernia surgery recovery 100% perfect (yay! Russian doctors).? Blood levels are above average for a 4 year old so he’s well nourished (yay me).

He weighs 29 1/2 lbs (in the 6th percentile)

and is 38 1/2 inches tall (12th percentile

He’s still small for his age, but is growing and that is what matters.


And while you’re at it… check out these costumed cuties.

9 Comment

  1. Joel413 says: Reply

    Statistically speaking (other than the exact age thing) we have the same child…

  2. DebiP says: Reply

    I can’t wait to ‘weight in’ with Griffin is a few weeks…but so far it sounds as if my soon to be four could be your just turned four…

  3. Lauri says: Reply

    Sounds like he has got a case of what Livi has.. four year old itis, and to say that it is trying is putting it lightly.

    Hang in there… no assvice to offer

  4. I thought 4 was supposed to be better than 3!!?? Quin has also been screaming about everything, whiny, clingy, and pushing and/or hitting his sister like crazy. It’s enough to make me think about going to work for more hours, even though that means I’ll have to put the kids into part-time day care. I’m hoping the new parenting book we picked up (highly recommended by someone that E knows) will have some words of reassurance. Until then, temper tantrums are met with being put into his room, and preschool has been pulled until he stops peeing in his pants.

  5. mom says: Reply

    First time parents always have the largest ulcers. Worry, worry, and worry even more… Never ever would I tell you so, I want to live to watch him grow up!

  6. Heidi says: Reply

    Don’t you feel better knowing you’re not alone?
    I don’t write these stories on my blog because I have judgemental relatives that read it. I should start a new blog so I can be as real and honest as you.
    Thanks for sharing.

  7. wendy says: Reply

    Oh the joy of phases. (They really need to come up with a more descriptive name for these. Something like Demonic Possession Sessions)I took Ahren to the doctor the other day and when the man walked in wearing a white coat my son’s head began to spin around and pea soup projectiled out of his mouth. He screamed so loud I didn’t hear a thing the doctor said, and my ears rang for 30 minutes afterwards. I think the doctor said he is fine, but he might also have ordered his prostate removed. I don’t know. All I know is that I wish, wish, wish my 16 yr old was 4 again. Tantrums are nothing compared to driving….and boys….and driving!

  8. I think that more intelligent children may have had a harder time in the orphanage because they could process what was going on better. Even once at home their intelligence and heightened perception of their surroundings may cause them to react stronger (screaming, throwing, clinging) than a child who goes with the flow because they aren’t really paying attention.

  9. Amy says: Reply

    We are living parallel lives right now…

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