New Parent

I have this fear of being the overly needy new parent. I think that stems from being a new parent to a two year old. For those who have given birth (or adopted) and have this brand new infant it is easy to be the overly needy new parent. After all… this thing is floppy, cries a lot and you are generally inexperienced as a parent. When you have a toddler most people think you have the hang of this parenting thing by the time the child turns two. Less calls to the nurse hot-line and all. So here’s me. I’m a new parent, my child is two and sick. I’ve been really lucky in the health department and the boy has had a minor cold twice. No throw-ups, no real high fevers, no poo issues… all good. I know, I count my blessings every second of every day.

So when the child woke up crying in the middle of the night the other day I freaked. the. hell. out. I am dead serious when I tell you I was ready to throw that kid in the car and drive to the emergency room. The cough was that scary sounding. As luck would have it, by morning he was doing much better. The fever, lack of sleep and icky cough didn’t slow him down much yesterday. We stayed in and watched TV.

This afternoon we were a little more adventurous since he slept last night and seemed to be doing well today. We ventured out to lunch with my parents and the boy ate ok. He took a great 2 hour nap, but woke up with a whimper. His father answered the call of the crying child since I was outside taking advantage of a break in the weather. After nap things didn’t look so hot. His fever was back up and the cough. Oh the cough. I would give anything to take it away and make him feel better. I guess that is what parenting is all about.

Anyway… the cough kept going on and on and I was getting more freaked by the minute. I would like to mention here that in the 7 months of parenting I have only called the pediatrician’s office once and that was because the kid hadn’t eaten for like 3 days. As luck would have it our pediatrician’s office doesn’t have a nurse line on the weekends. Great. So me, now being the overly needy mom, calls the on-call doc. I get a doc that is not the boy’s regular ped and man am I glad he isn’t. Dude talks really fast. I start blubbering about my child, fever, wet cough blah blah blah. Then I start to think, this doc probably thinks I’m the biggest idiot in the world. “He has a chest cold and she’s calling me?” I then think that I should justify the call. He’s adopted, I’ve only been a mom for 7 months, I begin to shove my foot into my mouth. I tell him I’m not sure what to do. Should I take him to urgent care or what? There goes the heel. The doc tells me under no circumstances should I take him to urgent care. If I think it is a true emergency I should take him to Mary Bridge. This is the local (and very good) children’s hospital. At this point I begin to kiss my ankle my foot is so far in my mouth. You see… we have 3 hospitals in a 2 block area in our city. Mary Bridge being one. It never occurred to me that if I take him to an emergency room that I should take him to the children’s hospital. How dumb am I? Of course this isn’t really an emergency, but more of a case of overly needy mom not knowing her ass from a hole in the ground. Fast talking doc tells me to call the office in the morning and get him in. He isn’t much of a help, but in a half assed way reassures me.

So my first mommy moment I have a swallowed foot, not much help, and a kid now hacking up his right and left lung. Better yet… I think I am getting it and we all know what me getting a chest cold leads to right? You guessed it. Bronchitis.

6 Comment

  1. Nathe says: Reply

    You did fine.
    As a parent who as spent a culminative week at said children’s hospital, you did fine.

    The seal cough is part of what Jr. has, and THANKFULLY we’ve gone since November without having to go to said hospital for a 3-day stay. AND I’ve had THAT conversation with ER people who say I should not have taken Jr to the ped first, but rather straight to MB…oh well.

    be cautious, and understand that there are FAR WORSE parents out there then you, and the fact that you’ve only called ONCE in 7 months is a good thing…meaning you are doing things right, and WHEN you do have to call it does NOT mean you are doing something WRONG, it’s just time that you CALL.

    In short, your foot was not in your mouth…must have been a different person’s foot, or a chunk of corned beef that was not boiled.

    Love and prayers for Derek, you and the boy….

  2. There is nothing wrong with calling the doctor and there is nothing wrong with taking your kiddo to ER if you’re concerned. Who cares if it’s just a cold? It’s not like you’re doing this every two days. Screw what other people think.

    Do you think he has croup maybe? My nephew used to get croup and it was awful. One thing that really helped calm the cough was steam. My sister would turn on the shower really hot and sit on the bathroom floor holding Mitchell until his cough calmed down.

    I hope the boy (and you) are on the upswing soon.

  3. You love your son and you were concerned about his well being. You did the right thing! Hope the little guy feels better soon.

  4. mom says: Reply

    Fevers are the way your body is fighting a bug BUT if his fever persists take him in to your pediatrician. Sometimes fevers mean infection and that means an antibiotic. On the fear factor…everyone feels that surge of panic when there kids are hacking up a lung and once again those words…parenting is one of the toughest jobs you’ll be faced with. One day you’ll be telling Oleg and his young wife these same words!!!

  5. Carla says: Reply

    Well, I called the advice nurse at our peds office last month for a cough with NO fever. I’ve been a parent for over 8 years now, and it has not gotten easier to tell when to call the doc or not. ER yeah, I’ve got that down…blue lips, high fever, broken bones, deep cuts, and anything that sends my mommy alert off.

    S’s cold/cough thing? Well, not so much.

    Turns out, when I finally did take him to the ped they are now suspecting asthma and he needed some pretty big breathing treatments. Yeah, I felt really guilty for not getting him in earlier (although roughly 8 weeks before hand I had taken him in for the cough and he didn’t exhibit the asthma like symptoms he now has).a

    My thing is if I have a question, then I call. If I’m panicked, then I go to the ER (well Dh does the ER trips). 🙂

  6. Lauren says: Reply

    Don’t feel bad. My (bio)daughter is 5 and I still call the peds office if I am unsure of something. They have been very helpful and have helped me avoid having to come in when not necessary. I say that is what they are there for. As a first time mom how would you know better!

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