My new BFF

So I was shopping at the mega home improvement store yesterday. ?I was minding my own business looking for yet more parts to our micro watering system when a helper monkey shockingly asked if I needed actual help. ?Oddly enough I did. ?I asked my question and the helper monkey and I struck up a conversation. ?She was a nice enough girl. ?Somehow I mentioned my little sob story of how Dane the Dumbass Previous Homeowner got pissed off at his wife and turned down the pressure regulation valve for our water and that we couldn’t flush the toilet and wash our hands at the same time. ?In the 5 years we have lived in our house we have been unable to locate the regulator to turn it back up.

I went about my business and continued shopping. ?Meanwhile, behind me helper monkey girl told my story to some dude standing next to her. ?I was friendly and filled in the rest of the story about how we’ve looked for the valve and that our horrible water pressure makes watering the grass nearly impossible. ?He said he could find the valve and turn it up.

Now I’m not normally the kind of girl that brings home random strangers from the mega home improvement store (unless you are Ahmed Hassan then dude, I would totally bring that guy home), but seeing as I have to wait at least 2 hours to take a shower after the trusty husband lest I have nothing but cold water I thought it was worth a shot.

Before you go getting all “don’t bring strangers home” on me let me assure you that the guy didn’t follow me home that day. ?He gave me his number and I talked to the trusty husband first. ?He said go ahead and call the guy, but then we had a slight incident with a rock and child so I didn’t get around to calling. ?I planned on doing it this morning. ?Then I was busy trying on 14 gagillion swim suits (eww) and didn’t do it. ?Then we had to go to said mega home improvement store for yet more sprinkler parts. ?Lo and behold plumber dude was there. ?You see, he is the plumbing “expert” there. ?He has 26 years of experience as a plumber. ?I also had the trusty husband with me.

We arrange a time for Dwayne to come over and we go on our way.

Around 5:30 he shows up, as expected and within 3 minutes has the long lost valve located. ?Totally not where we were looking. ?Wrench and a screwdriver and we go from 30psi pressure to 65. ?We turned on all of the sprinklers and flushed the toilets just because we could.

While under our house he also noticed that the main drain from our kitchen was leaking. ?The same drain that the home inspector said was leaking and that Dane the Dumbass Previous Homeowner traded his big red truck to a plumber to “fix.” ?My new BFF Dwayne said, “I’ll be right back.” ?The guy goes out to his truck, comes back and crawls back under the house. ?He then proceeds to fix the drain.

We thank him profusely and the trusty husband walks him out. ?”How much do I owe you?” he asks. ?”20 bucks,” Dwayne says. ?That man’s phone number now has a place of honor on our refrigerator.

13 Comment

  1. mom says: Reply

    Now how cool is that!

  2. Margaret says: Reply

    That’s awesome. Go Dwayne.

  3. Lauri says: Reply

    Yeah for you.. and try lands end for swimsuits… they are the best

  4. kristin says: Reply

    WOW! I wish I could find a guy like that out here! We have a leaky garage disposal. Does Dwayne travel? HA HA! How cool.

  5. Lena says: Reply


  6. Liv says: Reply

    That is awesome. I hope that he had retired from plumbing and took a job there out of boredom rather than losing his job and being forced to work there.

  7. Elle says: Reply

    My guess is that work is hard to find these days and that’s why he’s working at the home improvement store. I doubt that he travels for $20.

    Considering my last experience with a plumber (*cough $700 to plumb and install our disposal *cough) that was the best $20 I’ve ever spent. I would have paid him double.

  8. OH MY GOSH. I paid 90 bucks for 10 minutes work from a plumber last week and he didn’t even fix anything. just flicked a switch, turned a nob and moved a tube.

    LUCKY!!! And congrats on the toilets.

  9. That is the kind of friend you work hard to keep!

  10. Joel413 says: Reply

    Does Dwayne wear Orange or Blue?

  11. Joel413 says: Reply

    Oh yeah, and what’s a pressure regulation valve and where does it live?… granted I can’t even find the stupid main shut-off valve in our house

  12. kate says: Reply

    i wish he’d come to russia. sigh.

  13. […] then wife had marital issues.  That would explain their following divorce.  I’ve mentioned Dumbass Dane before and it probably won’t be the last time.  The story we heard from the knows everything […]

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