Kitty litter revenge

Ann Marie left a comment that I liked. Thanks babe! She suggested instead of sitting around feeling sorry for my neighbors (which I totally don?t) I should get my nasty-ass litter box and dump it on their front lawn. I am totally all for this line of thinking. But there is a problem with it. First… they don?t have an actual lawn per-se. It is more like a bunch of weeds that one of the boys will go out and mow down with worlds most rickety lawn mower, but only once a year just to make it appear as if they actually care about their home. Second… if I dumped a bunch of cat crap in their front yard, they?d never notice. Or somehow it would show back up on my front lawn, of which I would notice. Or better yet they would smear it all over my nice white garage door. I am just that paranoid. However, I have been tempted to throw the garbage that blows into my yard back into their or better yet fling their dog poo back. Oops, sorry that hit your car Jim. There are a few other things about this family that drive me nuts.

They had a pet raccoon for awhile. You did read that correctly. A raccoon. We have a family of them living in the trees at another neighbor?s house. One of the babies fell out of the tree one day and one of the boys took it in. The boy was actually seen taking the raccoon for a walk one day. I hissed through my teeth that the dumb thing dug up all my strawberry plants and the kid professed that it wasn?t the raccoon. Yeah right.

The dad “accidentally” ran over the neighbor?s dog one night and then proceeded to put the dog in the owner?s garage because the owner wasn?t home. The dog?s owner then caused a near riot by blaming the dad for intentionally killing their pet. Foul words were heard all the way at our house, there was a baseball bat involved and it all ended with the police being called and one guy taken away in an ambulance. The kicker to it was a few nights later we were laying on the couch and heard a “pop-pop” outside. Ok, I didn?t hear it, but CS did. About 30 minutes later I see a pair of legs from under the blinds walk across our front patio. I look out the front door and their was a police officer in riot gear with an assault rifle on my front patio. “Madme, you need to go back into your house.” Holy hell! We look out of our bedroom window to see the SWAT team in our yard closing in on the neighbor?s house. Apparently the family of 11 swears it was fireworks. There was never a definitive answer on that one.

Since the SWAT team episode they have been rather quiet. Of course there was New Years where they decided to play very loud bass outside of my son?s room. We couldn?t call the police because there is no noise ordinance in our city. Neither CS or I would go over there because frankly… they frighten us.

One would think that with this kind of neighbor that we would want to move just to get away from them. The problem is we really like our house and who?s to say that if we did move we wouldn?t have neighbor just as bad in the new house. So for now I think I might invest in a super soaker and nail the next kid that runs through my yard.

1 Comment

  1. […] I ever mentioned that I live in a neighborhood full of morons? ?Oh yes, that’s right. ?On a few occasions. ?Normally when I complain about my neighbors it is the ones with 11 (possibly 12) […]

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