It’s good, It’s not good

I’m pretty sure today was one for the record books.  You know those days when you finally sit down at 9:30 at night and realize that the glass of wine you are drinking is your dinner.  Yeah… that’s me right about now.

When we last left off I was going to call a local hockey rink about their program.  I did just that.  The development director was nice, gave me the price information and what to do.  However, he failed to mention that they had been into the program for almost a month.  I had in my mind that the program had recently started and that I should get Oleg there as soon as I could.  That thinking spurred me into action.

So we live in the Northwest where hockey isn’t that big.  In fact, there is really only one place on the West side of the mountains to buy hockey gear at a reasonable price.  Let’s be totally honest.  It’s the only place period.  The problem is that place is in Lynwood.  Lynwood happens to be North of Seattle and about an hour from my house.  That’s a long way to go for gear.

Lucky for me my father-in-law wasn’t doing anything and when I sweetly asked him if he’d like to go with us (which was my way of asking if he’d drive) he said yes.  Boy (and neighbor girl) get off the bus, figure out what gear fits and what doesn’t, get in car, drive to Lynwood, buy gear as fast as possible, get back in car and drive home.  By the grace of God we made it home in about an hour.  The trip could easily take 2 with traffic.

Once we get home I frantically throw all of the boy’s gear into his new bag, let the children play for all of 10 minutes and realize there is no food in our house.  I try to take the neighbor girl home only to find out her parents aren’t home.  Crap!  We have to go.  I fix my child scrambled eggs and throw some yogurt his way and take the neighbor girl to a different neighbor’s house.  I throw the child and all of his gear in the car and we make the 50 minute drive to the new hockey rink.

I am a hockey mom and can dress a kid in 5 minutes.  I get the boy ready, and we head out for the ice.  Since the program has already started there is no check-in bit.  It’s a get on the ice and get going.  Oleg and I wait at the door so I can get the attention of a coach.  Oleg looked at me and says, “Mom, what are we waiting for?”  He tells me he’s ready to go.  I let him go.  He gets on the ice and does his thing.  I finally get the attention of a coach and explain the situation.  Boy is new here, but has been skating for 3 years.  Coach says they’ll do some evaluating, go ahead and register him at the counter and all is good.

I have never had a transition like this with the child.  It was smooth and easy.

I get the boy registered and sit down in the warm part of the rink to finish eating my now cold food and text Derek the good news.  Mid-text the boy shows up next to me and he’s crying.  He pulls a Russel from the movie Up and says his head hurts, his foot hurts, his leg hurts, his butt hurts and he has to go to the bathroom… ok maybe not those last 2, but you get the picture.  I get him calmed down and the coach asks if he’s ok.  He’s fine.

My child is… my child.  There isn’t a day that goes by that I forget that.  Not in a bad way.  We become so complacent with his behavior that we forget that he’s not quite the same.  He’s unique.  It is possible that Oleg will never transition into new situations smoothly.  We may always have to do prep work prior to a major event.  I’m ok with that.

This time we had a bit of a breakthrough.  As we’re walking back down to the ice he looks at me and says, “mom, you know I just get worried sometimes.”  I know buddy.  You do.

That’s huge!  He verbalized it.  The second time he came off the ice (yep, it happened again) we were able to have an actual conversation about it.  It was too much.  Too much noise, too many kids, too much new.  Add the go, go, go from earlier in the day, he had soccer practice last night, dad is out of town… it was too much for the kid.  I know that.  I should have transitioned him a little more slowly, but I realize that at the time.

When we got home he said, “I’m sad that I didn’t get that much time to skate…” GAH!  But that’s his way of saying that I’ve worked through it and I’m ready to try again.  He’ll cry again on Sunday.  But he may only do it once.  That’s ok.  It takes him a little more time than most.  If I let him give up he wouldn’t do anything.

2 Comment

  1. mom says: Reply

    Oh to be insecure within ones self. Having felt that way my entire life, I can relate to Oleg’s feelings. He’s scared to death. Your patience and persistence, I do so admire. Keep up the good work mom! Explaining, reassuring, without force, is the BEST answer. Being sensitive is not necessarily a bad thing. He has an understanding of feelings that many in this world lack! 🙂

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