If I let my son give up on everything that he was scared of he would sit in front of a window and do nothing all day. He would watch the world pass him by. Since the day he joined our family everything new has been scary. Here he had this nice orderly little life and one day these strange people he didn’t understand came and took him away from everything he’d ever known. They took him from the order of life. My child thrives on order.
When we got home Oleg wouldn’t touch dirt or sand. He’d never done it before. If you’re going to be the child of a horticulturist dirt is a fact of life. I put his hand in the dirt and made him rub them together. He cried. We did it again and now he digs giant holes alongside the dog.
At one point Oleg wouldn’t go outside because he thought the pinecones were out to get him. I made him hold one to get over his fear. I’ll pay for therapy for that one. The child can name all major conifer groups.
When Oleg was 2 I took him to the park. He wouldn’t go down the slide or play like the other children. He would stand at the top of the slide and let all the other kids go by. One day I coaxed him to sit and I gave him a push. WHEEE all the way down.
What I’m trying to say is that if I had let my son give up on everything he didn’t want to do he would still be siting in front of that window watching life go by. Sometimes we need that little push…
Yeah, I’ve got a kiddo who thrives on order. Not as heavily as Oleg, but there are things we just have to make him do (Santa Claus is not one of those things 🙂 – but walking into school by himself and overcoming other fears [that seem small to us but are huge to him] has been something we’ve worked on a good bit). Otherwise, how will he handle his fears when he’s off to college (or wherever) without us?
By the way, routine is huge for Iliya, too. He’s become MUCH more flexible, but we still have to prepare him as much as possible for new situations. Answering TONS of questions is part of that. And at the end of the day, if I haven’t taken the time with him, I notice he behaves more poorly than if I had taken the time to prepare him. Just something that 1) may be a PI thing or 2) is just his personality. Anyway, I feel ya. 🙂
This is so well written. We all need that little push sometimes!
Lead him gently… those doors aren’t so scary when someone holds your hand.
Awesome! Both how you wrote it and how you handle it. He will be such a better person for having you as a Mom.
And it isn’t easy being the mom who gives the push, either. Those fearful cries always hurt. Good for you both for pushing past them.