Hawg Heaven

I got guilt tripped into another family outing this weekend. This time it was for Dad?s side of the family. My grandmother calls Saturday morning to tell me that my Uncle is having a barbecue at his house and wanted us to come on out. My Uncle and Aunt have this great brand new house and we hadn?t seen it yet. So feeling guiltly for a lack of family activities as of late I talked CS into going. This actually did take a bit of convincing because next weekend is a family reunion for family also on my Dad?s side. (I have a big family.)

So anyway, I told CS that this would likely be a grand ol? redneck event so be prepared. I have to prepare him for events like these. Inform him of the family that will be there, if there is proper protocol for eating and so on. Rednecks it was.

We pulled up to my uncles house and we were one of the first to arrive. Shocking! As we are standing out in the font it sounds like the hell?s angels are quickly approaching. My uncle says, “oh that sounds like them.” Dear lord! What did he just say?! Sure enough, here come about 5 Harleys onto my uncle?s front drive. Ahh. My extended family has arrived. The hog riders are my dad?s cousins. lovely. I knew that part of the family was coming, but little did I know they all owned giant harleys.

You see my family is just a down to earth kinda family. Huge too. My grandparents have 7 children. They all have children. My grandma has 23 grandchildren and I lost count of how many great-grandchildren. It?s a big family. They are also the kind of family who upon walking in the door ask, “who?s in the lead?” Refering to the day?s Nascar race. Which was on the television. They love football, stock cars, motorcycles and Bud Light (in a can.) Let?s just say I am the anti-family member.

Now I am not dissing my family in anyway shape or form. It is refreshing to go to a family function and not worry about who you are going to invite because they will all get along.

But it is entertaining that when you bring a new person to a family event you have to explain the proper protocol for the meal. My brothers and I take bets on how long into the prayer it will be before my grandmother starts to cry. All the small children are served first. You must try to get in line for food prior to my dad or my uncle Kevin. If not your chances of getting the good food are vastly reduced. You must fill your plate, or at least make it look like your plate is full. CS is a champion at making his plate look full. It is customary to go back for seconds. If you are me if you take too much your uncles will call you fat. If you don?t eat all of your food you get chastised and aren?t allowed dessert. If you are a child and spill your drink, no more drink for you. Thanksgiving dinner is a spread that will fill an 8 foot table. Needless to say mealtime is a big deal in our family.

So there you go… what I did on yet another family outing. Isn?t it magical?