I promise this is not going to be one of those whoa is me depression posts.? Now that we are well out of the month of January the depression seems to be at bay and other than the need for a hair cut I feel pretty good.? But here is the thing about me.? I have this tendency to do too much.? If you know me in person you are looking at your computer screen slack jawed and saying, “no shit.”? A few years ago I was at one of the trusty husband’s fancy dress up dinners.? I was talking to one of the agents with his company and telling him about all of the stuff that I do.? At the time I was a full time student, worked a real full time job, was starting my landscape design business, ran high school youth for our church and rang in the hand bell choir.? But I didn’t have children.? He looked at me and said I needed to give up at least 3 of those things.? I couldn’t.? And I didn’t until we moved.
Today, I work a part-time job, am trying to start a media company (I got bored with landscape design, although I can still do it), I still run high school youth for our church, I ring in a hand bell choir, am on the Outreach team for our church and am a mom.? Recently, I briefly considered going back to school, but was smacked with a moment of sanity and thought better of it.? Maybe in the fall.? That voice is creeping back in that says, “you need to give something up.”? And I did that.? I gave up one hand bell choir (I was ringing in 2) and I gave up the Youth and Family Ministry team at church (but I still run high school youth).? I am still taxed for time, but it is somewhat more manageable now.? In between all of these activities there are the regular duties of being a wife and a mom.? I cook, clean, run errands, take my son to preschool and occasionally play with him.? However, that last one is becoming less frequent.
I feel that lately the boy and I are passing souls in this house.? Partly because right now he has a bit of a cold and is being quite the shit, but partly because I am bored with 3 year old games.? And the nonsense words.? Newcomers think it is cute and funny, but me… it drives me batty.? I can only hear, “na-na-na dee-dee” so many times before I want to rip out my hair.? I know this is very healthy for his “delayed” speech development, but it’s driving me bonkers.
There is one thing I have learned in the past year and a half of being a mom.? That is to make time.? Make time for the things that matter most in life.? If that means I read a few less blogs in a day and spend an extra 1/2 an hour playing with my son it is worth it.? I try to get him involved in helping me out with things like laundry and cleaning (he loves it).? He helps me make bread and dinner.? When the weather is nice we try to go outside.? This makes time for me to work in my garden and he helps or just plays.? I try to find the joy in life by just being with my son.? He really is quite a funny little one.
And at some point… I plan to make time to find my humor again.? It’s in there somewhere.