der jumper, what the hell is der jumper?

Years ago I made the trusty husband promise me that he would never again buy a broken computer.? I made him swear that any computer he purchased had to be brand spankin’ new out of the box.? You see, he used to work for Mega Office Supply Chain and found a great deal! on a smokin’ computer! (only it was returned to the store as defective) and still has the manufacturer’s warranty!

He brought his new conquest home and tried to fix it himself.? But not before the hard drive on the old computer crashed causing me to lose everything I had including hundreds of songs I’d downloaded off of Napster.? (When Napster was still free)? By the time we got the new computer working Napster wasn’t so much free anymore.? And did I mention he tried to do all of this while I was still in college and in the middle of mid-terms?? To make matters worse he couldn’t fix the problem so he had to call in an “expert.”? Some Nerd Herd guy came out to the house.? Still couldn’t fix it and they had to send it to the Nerd Factory.? It took a team of nerds 2 weeks to make it work.? I think there was a point in there that I didn’t speak to him for almost a week.? It was so bad that I actually picked up the phone and called one of my girlfriends to specifically bitch about him.? I never do that.

At that moment I made him swear that he’d never do that again.? So 5 or 6 years ago we bought a new computer, fresh out of the box.? It served me well.? But she was old and tired.? And I am old and poor.? A new gray hair would sprout out of my head at the mere mention of opening Photoshop and Dreamweaver at the same time.? I’d get an error message every time I opened InDesign.? (that’s why I do all of my publications in craptastic Publisher.)

A few weeks ago the trusty husband suggested that he buy some new parts to make my computer a little faster.? I have to leave the room every time he pulls the case off of my computer.? I can’t see her all exposed like that.? He thought that since we can’t afford to buy the bright and shiny new computer that I really want he would at least make mine usable until such time occurs that we could purchase the shiny new one.? Or even better this one.

Seeing as my computer was on it’s last leg I agreed.? Then he started talking crazy out stuff like a new case and other hardware crap that I don’t know anything about.? He was going to build me a new computer.? (but according to him it’s not because he was reusing some parts)

The downfall to all of this is that when the big brown truck arrived last night (at 7:00 p.m.) the box with the fancy new case was dented.? My mother taught me never to buy anything in a dented box.? Sho nuf, the case was dented.? Will the trusty husband return it?? Hell no.? It took him an hour to disassemble my old computer and reassemble the new one.? He turned it on and it kept doing a restart loop.? That man was up until 1:00 a.m. making my computer work.

It works, but I have no Office products.? Messenger work’s but with a recurring error message.? So here it is the day before I print the publication I do every month with no computer to do it on.? Nice.

And I’m not all that convinced it is any faster.? Although I don’t get that error message when I open InDesign anymore.? That’s kinda nice.? I can also say that the new one is much larger, much louder, but has a fancy clear side to entertain the boy for a while.? And at night it puts off an ethereal blue glow that’s kinda creepy.

8 Comment

  1. Jenny2 says: Reply

    That’s a good man you have there.

    But I know you know that.

  2. I’m seeing why you keep trying to run away with my laptop now … you can always come over, let the kids play, and play with the G4 iMac in the basement. It’s a messy office, but the door closes, and the computer has all the fancy applications … and a nice chair. 🙂

  3. NEAL says: Reply

    Yeah, and there was a faint attempt to take el camera today too, but it was thwarted … though elle needs to be commended for not trying to jack the MBP, but quite possibly because a cute ‘lil chickadee was watching super why on it.

    I pray that they are able to get the Mac they need/want soon.

  4. Hey, I have that same computer… mine is named Frankenstein and was built by, you know it, RB!

  5. Mom says: Reply

    I love……….my lap top.

  6. Jenny says: Reply

    uhoh….sorry elle.
    i love my little ibook. it is old and small and quiet.
    good luck, I hope it get sorted and better soon.

  7. My husband also fancies himself as having the ability to fix computers. After the 3rd time he “fixed” mine, I forbid him to touch it again unless it was really broken because each quick “fix” turned into 3 days of me complaining and him cursing that it should work, why won’t it work? He is only allowed to tear his apart now. And his has those clear windows and fancy flashing lights that are a little weird. I’m perfectly happy with mine non-tricked out laptop that works just fine.

  8. Just never buy a Dell. We have a Dell computer and I despise it.

    Honestly, I would love it if M was interested in computers in any way. I think it is great that your husband is into that stuff.

    You guys are the hardware- software match in heaven.

Leave a Reply