Dear Makers of Zyrtec

I am a woman who suffers from severe allergies. They are not your usual seasonal allergies. I am allergic to dust, cats, alder, grass, mold and a whole other host of things that I just won’t get tested for because I would break out in horrible hives. In general I have a rule of electing to not take pharmaceuticals to cure ailments that I may have. You may have read other material I have written stating my dislike for hormone altering medications. However, if I don’t take your product I suffer greatly and am unable to function.

You see? I have sneezing fits. They aren’t your run of the mill sneezing fits. These are bonafide make your abs hurt in the morning sneezing fits. The kind that make strangers in a restaurant look at you and think damn, what’s wrong with that chick. During the course of a normal allergy attack I also suffer from post nasal drip. Not your ordinary post nasal drip. It’s more of the kind that unexpectedly snot is gushing forth from your face and you are not nearly quick enough to catch it. So bad really that I have been half tempted to stuff Kleenex up my nose just to reduce the amount I am throwing into the landfills.

My complaint comes because I spend a small fortune on your product. $45 a month to be exact. I use your product because I have tried every over the counter and prescription allergy medication available. *wipes and blows nose* Some have given me hives. Some make me feel like a bar fly on a payday. But your product works remarkably well. Unfortunately I believe you may have a quality control issues. Every so often I get a bunk pill.

I religiously take my little Pfizer Gold every morning. I am more reliable with that than I ever was with birth control. But somehow there are days when your expensive concoction doesn’t work. Take today for example. I got up, felt perfectly fine, took my vitamins and little white no-sneezy pill (per the ever present “Elle did you take your pills” reminder on my fridge). But by about 9:30 the nose run started. I thought it might be the start of an actual cold. After all, I sent my child to preschool two weeks ago. With. All. The. Carrier. Monkeys! Somewhere around lunchtime the sneezing started.

I have now lost my sense of smell and taste. I have no appetite. I look like Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer and sound Stevie Nicks. It ain’t pretty.

So please, makers of Zyrtec, please consider beefing up your quality control department. At the very least separate Lucy & Ethyl. They are fucking up my ability to be a productive member of society. Yeah, cause like I was one to begin with.

5 Comment

  1. You poor thing! Maybe it’s time to take out stock in Kleenex? If you’re not up to that, I’ll recommend you try NAET ( It helped me with my dairy allergies. They came back so strong that you couldn’t even pass the Parmesan over my pasta without causing problems. Literally 1 teaspoon of cheese in a pot of homemade soup would cause issues. Anyways, it worked, and before having Gretchen, I could have all the dairy I wanted. Since having Gretchen, I have to make sure I don’t go overboard (i.e. dairy with every meal for more than a day), but I can still have diary. One thing about NAET, though: you can’t be around the allergen you’ve just worked on for 25 hours. In other words, don’t work on ragwort during ragwort season. I did summer allergies a while back, during winter, and I haven’t had a problem with them since. It’s been wonderful! And when Gretchen is done nursing, I’m planning on going back to fix the dairy thing. It worked on a friend’s corn allergy – she wasn’t able to have any corn (including corn syrup and it’s derivatives), and after doing it, she was able to have corn again. See if your acupuncturist does NAET or is interested in learning about it and becoming a practitioner (which is how I found out – my acupuncturist does NAET). Good luck!!

  2. Belinda says: Reply

    Hi Elle, I suffer from allergies too. I am allergic to almost everything and basically couldn’t breath until I was diagnosed and treated properly. Zyrtec saved my life, but I also take Flonaise which works amazing in conjunction with Zyrtec. It took 18 months to figure out the correct combination that worked for me, my life before my amazing allergy meds was filled with fever, sinus infection, bronchitus, pneumonia & strep throat. When I would go to the doctor they would throw some anti-biotics at me and tell me to drink lots of fluids and get some rest (as if I had any time for rest anyway).

    Here is the kicker for me, I wasn’t diagnosed with allergies until I was 37 (I’m 41 now). I used to have coughing fits in conference rooms at work (embarassing), I used to choke when I walked into certain stores and have to bust out the inhaler and my children would think I was going to sneeze my nose right off, after a while they would say “Bless you mommy times infinity – that should cover you for the day”

    In response to your comment about Zyrtec quality control I had never even considered that my little white pill wasn’t effective or potent enough, I just always figure that “something must be in the air that is making my allergies flare up that day.” You have a really good point and I am going to pay attention more now. Did you know that there is a generic for Zyrtec now? I pay $15.00 co-payment through my HMO for a bottle of 100.

    Good Luck fellow allergy sufferers!!!

  3. Belinda says: Reply

    OK whatever!!!

  4. Felicia says: Reply

    I too need Zyrtec. Make that, my son and I need it. I need it so bad that a month ago, I sneezed for an hour and a half. At the end of this sneezing catastrophe, my nose was so plugged up, I only thought of sucking in snot. I could not lay down, I couldn’t breathe, I felt as if I was suffocating. I sneezed 20 more times and at the end of that I felt a bulge at the top of my navel. Could it have been? Was it what I thought it was? It was a hernia. I’d sneezed myself into a hernia. My neck hurt so bad, I also thought I might have whiplash, but I didn’t. I was scheduled for surgery that Monday and I cannot live without Zyrtec. My son was given something else that of course, does not work. With Zyrtec being over the counter and me on disability for Multiple Sclerosis, I cannot afford even store brand Zyrtec. My son and I also have asthma so Zyrtec use to be a life saver for us. When I get some, I watch it very carefully and take it only when there is a high pollen count. When it drops to medium, I back away and save it for only the days I’m afraid of. I wish they would at least offer low-income users some kind of coupons or instant rebates. I don’t get why they would do this to us when they know we can’t afford to pay for even the generic brand. GRRRRR!!!

  5. […] extent of my allergies is well documented on this blog. ?However, never before have my allergies been of the chest variety. ?Meaning all I […]

Leave a Reply