Dear Lady at the Supermarket,
I understand that you are also in need of purchasing food to feed your family.? I too am at the supermarket for that sole purpose.? However, your stupidity is greatly inconveniencing me.? Although some may call me less than bright on occasion I at least have enough brain cells to know that I need to take a shopping list with me.? You see, when you possess a shopping list upon entering the supermarket you avoid being the dumbass in line that has to go back for stuff you forgot.
Take for example the fact that when I pushed my cart up to the line you were in I was dumb enough to not notice that you were not accompanying your actual cart.? This should have been my first indication to select another line.? That and the fact that the checker servicing that particular line has the affect of an ice cube in Siberia.? However, I am of the mindset that once I pick a line I am committed.? Call me dumb, but that’s how much I don’t like change.
Either way, once you returned to your previously vacated shopping cart I noticed you unloaded a whole host of products that could be contributing to your relative overweightness.? That Chef Boyardee Ravioli could be part of it, but who am I to judge?? Or maybe it was the 3 gallons of ice cream or the over processed white bread.? But I’m glad you threw that Lean Cuisine in there for good measure.? Wouldn’t want the world to think you eat crap food or anything.
All credibility was shot when you once again vacated your spot in line, while Babushka Popsicle was ringing your order, to go god only knows where.? Upon your return you carried a small pint of whipping cream.? Really?? This was the kind of thing you wouldn’t forget had you brought a list with you.? And seriously, did you have to pick the one item at the furthest possible point away from the checkout line.? Do you not know that I am in line behind you with a child in underpants who does not yet grasp the concept of asking to use the toilet?
Come on lady.? I just want to buy my low fat soy milk and get the hell out.
The woman behind you in line at the grocery burning a hole in your back with the stink eye.