Dear Lady at the Supermarket;

Dear Lady at the Supermarket,

I understand that you are also in need of purchasing food to feed your family.? I too am at the supermarket for that sole purpose.? However, your stupidity is greatly inconveniencing me.? Although some may call me less than bright on occasion I at least have enough brain cells to know that I need to take a shopping list with me.? You see, when you possess a shopping list upon entering the supermarket you avoid being the dumbass in line that has to go back for stuff you forgot.

Take for example the fact that when I pushed my cart up to the line you were in I was dumb enough to not notice that you were not accompanying your actual cart.? This should have been my first indication to select another line.? That and the fact that the checker servicing that particular line has the affect of an ice cube in Siberia.? However, I am of the mindset that once I pick a line I am committed.? Call me dumb, but that’s how much I don’t like change.

Either way, once you returned to your previously vacated shopping cart I noticed you unloaded a whole host of products that could be contributing to your relative overweightness.? That Chef Boyardee Ravioli could be part of it, but who am I to judge?? Or maybe it was the 3 gallons of ice cream or the over processed white bread.? But I’m glad you threw that Lean Cuisine in there for good measure.? Wouldn’t want the world to think you eat crap food or anything.

All credibility was shot when you once again vacated your spot in line, while Babushka Popsicle was ringing your order, to go god only knows where.? Upon your return you carried a small pint of whipping cream.? Really?? This was the kind of thing you wouldn’t forget had you brought a list with you.? And seriously, did you have to pick the one item at the furthest possible point away from the checkout line.? Do you not know that I am in line behind you with a child in underpants who does not yet grasp the concept of asking to use the toilet?

Come on lady.? I just want to buy my low fat soy milk and get the hell out.


The woman behind you in line at the grocery burning a hole in your back with the stink eye.

13 Comment

  1. Tricia says: Reply

    We had chicken pot pie and salad last night. Tonight is scrambled eggs and toast. Yep, we’ve got eggs to use up!

  2. Oh! Scrambled eggs on toast! I fell in love with that combination in New Zealand – I had never tried them that way before that trip!

    I have a friend who shops without a list. It drives me crazy to talk to her about food choices, cooking, and grocery shopping, but since her mom never taught her those skills, we have had many conversations on those topics. The stories of her wandering through the grocery store – no list and no idea what’s in her kitchen – are amusing and frustrating. And the conversations always seem to end with “I should start writing down a grocery list.”

    She has caused me to make a mental “must teach the kids” list: nutrition, cooking, cleaning, and laundry are the primary topics. I’ve met too many people that leave their parent’s house and don’t know how to do their own laundry (because it was “easier” for the parent – usually mom – to do it), can barely heat a can of soup (but if it requires water to be added, there may be a problem), don’t comprehend the value of vegetables (the primary vegetable of toddlers in the US is French fries – how sad is that?), and have difficulties understanding why the trash needs to be taken out or the bathroom cleaned (been there, done that with roomies in college – GROSS!).

  3. Wow! She went back TWICE?!?!?!? Man, if I forget something and don’t have a hubby with me to run (and only run if there’s actually time to squeeze it in before it’s our turn), I go through, then go get what I need and go through again. But that may have only happened once … wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

  4. Lena says: Reply

    For me it’s usually that the cash machine breaks down or it’s time for a break (and change people) right before it’s my turn. I can never pick a line without something going wrong … digging for change, credit card not accepted …

  5. Lena says: Reply

    For me it’s usually that the cash machine breaks down or it’s time for a break (and change people) right before it’s my turn. I can never pick a line without something going wrong … the person in front digging for change, credit card not accepted

  6. DebiP says: Reply

    I am not a list person for my usual shopping trip…when I am making huge changes in my weekly menu…then I do bring a list, mostly because I am not a fan of the place anyway and I want to go back as little as possible..hey Elle do you have the self serve check out yet….they are the best…and no running back to get that something you forgot…you have to check out and then go get it and then re-check out…I have to say that I have not had the pleasure of being behind those such as this woman.

    speaking of underwear…how is it going…**fingerscrossed**

  7. heh heh…should have found her car outside and given her flat tires.

  8. Mom says: Reply

    WELCOME To my world!

  9. Jenny2 says: Reply

    Oh, I’m sorry… that was me.

    This is why I shop at night… I only have to compete with those buying beer and chips and they usually want to get out F A S T.

  10. chou2 says: Reply

    oh, I know this lady!

    I think she shops at the store where I do!

    In addition to one or two last minute line-abandonment-dashes, she also writes a check – as in a paper check. Which no one in their right mind uses anymore at the grocery store. Whatever. She can right a check. But, it would be nice if she took the time to fill out the name of the store or the date or anything while she is waiting. But no, she takes out her checkbook only after the cashier has totaled her purchase. And then we wait while she carefully records the amount in the register and slowly, with perfect penmanship, writes out her damn check.

    I love this lady.

  11. Nicole says: Reply

    You should have kicked her in the shins.

  12. Sometimes when I am in line I realize I forgot an item, but in my mind it is TOO LATE. I never abandon my cart to go after the missed item. I just tell myself to get it the next time around. Especially if there are others waiting. I hate to make others wait because I hate to wait.

  13. I only go to the store with a list about half the time. But I am also of the mind that if I forget something (and I rarely do, because I am one of those that LOVES to walk each & every aisle), then it’s just too bad. The only time I’ve EVER gone back is if Nathan is with me and we still have a while left in line.

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