So today marks the day that I only have to write for one blog. In a way it’s kinda sad. If I couldn’t come up with something interesting about life, motherhood or the shit the general public put me through on a daily basis I could always pull out some kind of adoption assvice and post that. I suppose I could still shove little pearls of adopting wisdom down your throats, but frankly I’m tired of that. Oh I’m all for rooting you on and helping you out. It makes me feel special like that, but those kind of posts never really fit in here. Guess that’s why I created this place.
So now you are stuck hearing about things like why I am so afraid of calling my hairstylist and getting my hair cut despite the fact that I hate my hair in every way imaginable. You will have to endure my horribly long run on sentences. I can now
chastise you for not gardening organically give you bits of gardening advice that will make your flowers beautiful. You get to hear me rant about why I should never go to the grocery on a Wednesday afternoon unless I like being stuck in a queue for eggs because some old guy can’t decide between AA Large and Jumbo. Or maybe he was contemplating whether or not brown eggs are better for you than white eggs.
But most of all you get to hear stories of how I
threaten cajole my child to behave. I’m not the kind of mother to tell him that if he’s really good he can watch a special show when we get home. Oh no. I’m the kind of mom that says if you continue to hammer choking hazards into the carpet so help me god I’ll bust out the vacuum.