I laugh in the face of the Russians that said my son had a speech delay.? Evidently he must have thought the caregivers lives were terribly boring.? The majority of words that come out of my child’s mouth include those that narrate my day to day activity.? I feel like Will Ferrell in that movie with Emma Thompson, “Stranger than Fiction.”? Only I can see the source of the dialog and it sounds distinctly like Elmo.
The boy finds it fascinating to tell me that I am eating granola.? Then as if I didn’t know already I am supposed to drink the milk. ? He informs me that I am going potty while I am going potty.? Then I get the play by play of wiping, flushing, and washing hands.? He narrates what clothes are going into the dryer while he is putting them in.? “Daddy’s shirt, Oleg’s pants, Mama’s shirt, Oleg’s coat.”? From laundry we move onto dishes.? “Mama wash dishes.? In dishwasher.? Bowl, plate, spoon.”
“Mama fix hair.? Fix hair hot. Mama wo-lon face.? Paint cheek.? Color eyes.? White (not actually white), brown.? Mama use pink.? Mama next lipstick.”? No Oleg I’m not wearing lipstick today.? “Mama no wear lipstick.”
While I make the bed he tells me, “pillows off the bed, Oleg play with pillows, Oleg help make bed.? Mama pull blankies, Mama Daddy side, Mama’s side.”? “Mama shoes, Mama shoes away.? Play Daddy slippers.”
It goes on and on and on and on.? Thank God I have him because if I didn’t I might forget what I was doing while I was doing it.? And no wonder I have no clue what I am supposed to be doing next.? I can’t hear myself think with the constant chatter going on.? I guess I could always just ask the boy what comes after sweeping the floor.? Cause heaven forbid I do something out of order.? I could be all crazy like and dust first then sweep the floor.?? Just to screw with him and all.