or why potty training can be detrimental to your septic system.

So that whole white elephant in the room.? Anyone notice that?? No?? Me neither.? Oh ok.? It’s there.? I’m just trying to ignore it and maybe we’ll move through unscathed.? What white elephant?? Potty training.

Yeah, I’m one of those moms who will disclose potty training issues about my child with the internets.? I have no pride.? Actually it is more of gathering ammunition because I know full well that in the future this child will embarrass me in public.? When that day comes I can whip out any number of posts and say see… that wasn’t so fun was it.? Let’s not yell out obscene words at mommy’s office.

That whole potty training thing is going quite well.? If you consider staying dry all day long, but with 400 trips to the toilet each day fun.? But don’t forget to throw in a complete and utter resistance to pooping on the toilet.? And gawd forbid I even suggest that my child actually poops or heaven help me if I suggest he just give sitting on the toilet a try.? Both are met with horrible screaming that would blow your pants right off.

Now that the child has come to terms with the peeing on the toilet he thinks that wiping and flushing are a game.? We had to convince him that little boys that stand up to pee don’t need to wipe.? So the boy now finds excuses to put the paper in the toilet.? Like, oh, the sky is blue.? You will open the lid to one of our 2 toilets and find wads of toilet paper.? A whole 1/2 roll.? Nice.

The child’s obsession with putting things in the toilet started with the cat’s recycling water dish.? The cats would complain to us and we’d find cat food, kitty litter or other random objects in he water dish.? We switched to the granular form of Feline Pine cat litter and the boy could no longer pick up the pellets and put them in the dish.? We thought we were smart and solved that problem.? Until one day I went into the bathroom and found that the boy had grabbed handfuls of cat litter (out of the box) and put them in the dish.? Then he did the same thing to the toilet.?? There is not enough hand sanitizer or soap in the world to wash your kid with to get that image out of your brain.

After we explained (about 50 times) that it was not ok to go litter box diving we began finding other random objects in the toilet.? More toilet paper (which is now way up high), sticker, beans, cat food, dryer sheets, a silicone bracelet, a straw, and a toilet paper roll.

The problem is the boy has figured out he can flush the toilet.? Prior to this he didn’t have the strength.? His parents have become paranoid that someday they will? be elbow deep in human waste trying to fish out a match box car.? But some days we are less than average people.? I have a staunch opposition to baby proofing my entire home.? And that is no just for no’s sake.? I have one cabinet with latches, a few door knob covers and outlet covers.? However, earlier this week I invested in toilet locks.? $7.99 a piece toilet locks.? Toilet locks that will save me hundreds of dollars in eventual septic system repair when the child tries to shove one of the cats down the can.

So if you come to visit my home, please don’t complain that you aren’t smarter than the toilet locks and that you have to reach way up high for the paper.? I’m saving my sanity here people.

17 Comment

  1. I do understand. Glenys used to request a pull up so she could poopy. Then we started bribing her with candy. She is 3 1/2 (almost) and has only been pooping on the potty about 6 months or so I guess. So almost 3. She started peeing in the potty full time last fall with the peer intervention in pre-school. Don’t give up but don’t stress yourself with the potty training either. Good thing you got the locks though, I hear tell that cats don’t like to be flushed.


  2. I like to read these posts to steel myself for what I am in for in the future. It helps to know that the insanity I will experience has happened to others before me. So far we have been successful in keeping him away from the cat dish, but it’s only a matter of time.

    I don’t really child proof my home either – seems weird, but I totally understand you on that one. Better to teach the kid how to behave (within reason of course).

  3. Carla says: Reply

    LOL, I’ve so BTDT! Just a word of caution, if you feel the beginnings of a tummy bug…just even slightly nauseated, it’s best to go ahead and take that toilet lock off and just put a gate up on the room (one easily jumped in a mad dash to the bathroom). I’m just saying….but in case you have no warning, sinks work pretty good….or trash cans.

    the cell phone being dropped in to see if it would float was our breaking moment with the toilet lock.

    Oh, and within about a month or two the child figured it out, but it had served it’s purpose and stopped the habit of flushing things. 😉

  4. Lauri says: Reply

    We are getting some poop aversion as well ( wanting a pull up)… I have not blogged about it, because I figured I wore out my poop welcome with all those Giardia stories…I shudder just to think about those 10 blowouts a day…

    hang in there and the locks are a good thing

  5. Jenny2 says: Reply

    How long before he figures out the locks?

  6. Lauri, that sounds awful!! 10 blow outs a day???

    Lauri’s comment completely distracted me! I was amused (with my sick sense of humor) that while reading your post, my son was up on his Blue’s Clues potty seat (not the little potty), singing to Blue. He asked to! He also asked to wear undies all week this week, and we’ve only had one accident so far (but no other successes). Of course, the rest of the time he’s been wearing a diaper for lots of naps, because this cold has him wiped out. (He actually asked for a nap this morning.) I’m really hoping that his potty chart will help – he’s so excited about putting stars on it, and can’t wait to put a blue star. He has also mentioned wanting to wear undies at school. And I told him that if he wore undies all weekend without any problems, he could wear them to school. However, he is just starting to show interest in flushing and toilet paper. Our current rule is he can’t use toilet paper unless he’s on the big potty, and then he only gets one square. I think we may have to disable the bidet, though. I can just imagine the buttons being pushed (we’ve been training him to not push the buttons since he could walk) and water going everywhere.

  7. Lauri says: Reply

    Yes Giardia is not fun…… 6-10 blowouts on a good day… sometimes as many as 15……..I am not kidding about that….. I am serious..

    My daughter also had Hep a and a intestional virus ( camptobacter ), with the Giardia…. that also did not help in the poop dept… it took us a good few months to get her system healed

  8. Suz says: Reply

    Oh I don’t relish the thought of doing potty training again! Ugh.

    You will live through it, but it’s tough in the trenches of it.

  9. Rhonda says: Reply

    Yes, our kids had a fascination with putting TP in the toilet, too. Bonnie was terrible about it. I finally got to the point where I handed it to her every time she went. She got tired of that, so in order to have the privilege of pulling her own paper, she had to be responsible with it….lol. You know, with great power comes great responsibility. Otherwise, we went back to me handing it to her, which was no fun for her at all.

  10. Catherine says: Reply

    Toilet locks were the first item of “child proofing” to go at our house! The boy had those figured out within 2 days of being home last year (of course all the adults were still struggling with them)….I’ve been lucky on the whole potty thing — I regressed him once we got home last year (25 mons at the time) from the Russian schedule but he has always been willling and had it all down by 2.5 and was insistant on the “big boy pants” from then on. The standing up part took a bit longer …but after 3 mornings in preschool it was clear: he was not going back to the “Mommy way” He is a paper flusher too…the more the merrier!

  11. Wendy says: Reply

    Three weeks ago I came home to Nanny telling me the toilet was stopped up. She had tried plunging it with no success. I had to use my hand to reach down there and dig out the offending mess. Know what I found? Dental floss, kleenex, an empty toilet paper roll, the wrapper off a bar of soap, and some other things. It was the contents of the trash can in the bathroom. Since we also have a 3 yr old and a 2 yr old come to our house to share our nanny, I have no idea who the offender was. I just know that toilets are toddler magnets. Good luck with your little genius not figuring out the locks….

  12. Hey Elle, would you mind sending/posting the Chicken with herbs & lentils? That sounds really good! Thanks!

  13. “…when the child tries to shove one of the cats down the can.”

    I laughed out loud.

  14. Mom says: Reply

    A moms revenge? Yes…You too will one day bask in the Glory of these tales and be laughing. The boy, will one day call YOU and complain about the throne and the floaters of which don’t belong there! Hee…heeee

  15. Lea says: Reply

    I laughed out loud at the cat down the can comment too. Very funny! We have always had the habit of putting the lid down on all toilets and, since the boys have been here, closing the door to the bathroom. Funny thing is that, even though they can now open the door, they don’t go in there without us. They love flushing the toilet for anyone who will let them go in (mostly me). They both stand there and wave goodbye to whatever is going down. Many times they are holding a toy while stand there and I am just waiting for the day that they think of throwing it in. So far, so good, but I know my day is coming. I am not looking forward to potty training AT ALL.

  16. I don’t know what to say…we have avoided the bathroom destuction because we’ve gated off that side of the flat. I should leave it open and have him learn how to live here, but no…I am weak. I have enough issues with the cat’s food and table and window climbing. God help me.

  17. kate says: Reply

    just wanted to let you know i’m still reading in spite of the potty training. ;> i think that’s one stage i’ll be happy to skip!

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