I am married to a nerd. I don’t feel bad calling him out on the interwebz because he is fully aware of his nerdyness. As a child the trusty husband would take computers apart for fun. Ask the trusty MIL about the time he did something to their computer during mid-terms during her masters coursework and she had to wake him up to fix it. No technological upgrade in our house comes without a price. It has been well documented on various blogs (here, here, here and here). I may pay the price for all of this work, but in the end it is pretty cool. My computer is custom built and our TV set-up is da bomb. It does come with written instructions for all babysitters, but it’s all good. I can stream Netflix, Hulu and LastFM from my computer to the TV. I have a DVR, Wii and Xbox. There are benefits to having a nerdy husband.
Last week the trusty husband finally received a bonus from work. It has been a very long time since he’s received a bonus or a merit increase (thankyouverymuch a-hole ex-president). My husband works his ass off. He never fully takes a vacation. He is forever checking his email on his phone and does it all with such grace it is amazing. So when he found out he was going to get this bonus he said he was going to buy himself a new TV. He is horribly jealous of anyone who has a flat screen TV. I was ok with the purchase. It wasn’t my money to spend so why not.
Let’ take a moment to also note that along with the nerdyness, my husband is a cheap Swede. This isn’t derogatory, just a fact of life.
Here’s where buying a TV gets painful.
Our entertainment center was not large enough to hold a new 42″ television thus requiring the purchase of a new entertainment center. Trusty husband looks online and finds what he thinks will work. Being the cheap Swede that he is cheap Swedish furniture is an excellent compromise. Last Thursday we head north to the big blue building where you get to keep your pants on*. When seeing the new entertainment center in person I hemmed and hawed over it. I wasn’t sure. I caved, but made a few add-on adjustments like drawers and doors. Read: I spent more money. We walked out having spent more money than he was originally anticipating. He pretty much had a panic attack the rest of the night.
By Friday he had recovered because that was TV buying day. In addition to the TV he also purchased a blueray player. I spent the afternoon at the church preparing for a fundraiser dinner that was Saturday night. When I got home the trusty husband had assembled the entertainment center and I had to do the adjoining book case. No prob. I’m pro at IKEA furniture. I slap together the book case and drawers. We go to put on the doors, but have to move the drawer hardware up because I had it in the wrong spot. Then we went to put in the drawers. They didn’t fit. A 20 minute discussion argument over doors and drawers ensued. Screw it and move on. I just want to watch TV. The Canada vs. Slovakia hockey game was on and I was missing it.
We get the TV mounted in the cabinet. (It is slightly crooked, but we are trying to ignore that for the time being) We start putting other stuff into the cabinet. Blueray player, check. Xbox… feck. It doesn’t fit into the spot we wanted it to go. Try the cable box in that spot. Nope. Does the stereo (which pretty much controls all of the sound for all of this stuff) fit? Nope. Danger! Danger! Elle is over tired, sore from standing all day and missing a very important hockey game. I gave up and went to bed.
Where we stand at the moment is more cables had to be purchased. The trusty husband also has to purchase a USB hub because apparently I either sold our extra one in a garage sale or it was in a box that went to the Goodwill. How was I supposed to know we’d need that? We had to move the stereo to the book case and cut a hole in the back so the cables will come out. He has to extend all of the speaker wire because it won’t reach the stereo. We have to return the doors we purchased for the cabinet and purchase two more drawers and to run the whole shebang we still need a PhD.
Basically, purchasing a new TV was a complete disaster with the exception that the picture is utterly amazing. We keep putting DVDs in the player just to see the difference. The new Star Trek in high def on a blueray player is almost as good as in the theater. Now if we only had surround sound**…
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*Years ago there was a radio commercial for IKEA and they were giving directions. They were it’s the big blue building where you get to keep your pants on, not the big white building where you have to take your pants off (the neighboring hospital)
**When we had our house re-roofed last fall all of the banging around loosened the surround sound speakers from the housings and one fell out and was hanging by the wires. I didn’t want to leave it like that so I pulled it down. When I did that I broke a connector so we also need new surround sound speakers.
The other night the boy and I were going to Trader Joe’s and I asked him what we should have for dinner. His reply was, “mac n’ cheese.” This shouldn’t be shocking. That child would eat mac n’ cheese at every meal possible. I said I wasn’t sure if daddy would really like mac n’ cheese for dinner. His reply, “well, we could put bacon in it.” Ahh, the child does know his father. Ok, it really is common knowledge of the trusty husband’s love of bacon. I told the boy that if we were having mac n’ cheese that I’d make it from scratch. He was a little bummed since he thought that he’d just get Trader Joe’s frozen mac n’ cheese and we’d add bacon to it. Now I don’t mean to brag, but my bacon mac n’ cheese is pretty tasty. It is basically an adaptation of Alton Brown’s Stove Top Mac N’ Cheese recipe.
16 oz. elbow macaroni
6 oz. smoked gouda (shredded)
6 oz. gouda (shredded)
4 T. butter
1 5 oz. can evaporated milk
2 eggs
3/4 t. salt
4-5 strips bacon
Boil pasta according to the package directions. Cook the bacon and drain well on paper toweling (we cook ours in the microwave). Chop the bacon into small bits. Whisk together evaporated milk, eggs and salt in a medium bowl. When pasta is finished drain and return to the pot and turn on low. Add butter to the pot. Add milk, egg, salt mixture. Add cheese. Cook on low until the cheese is melted. Don’t heat it too high or cheese will get grainy. Once the cheese is melted fold in the bacon. Drool.
I’ve been so focused on guest posts, Russia and candy that I’ve neglected to keep you up on normal life. Not that you won’t hear more guests posts, stuff about Russia and candy in the week and a 1/2 to come. I assure you we haven’t jetted off to somewhere exotic or anything. I guess you could count Costco as exotic. I did see a lady buying a case of Spam and a case of heartburn medicine. I kinda wanted to smack her in the head and say, “duh.” Instead we laughed at her behind her back and now we are certainly going to hell.
Last week the trusty husband was on vacation and spent the whole week sitting next to me using my laptop while I tried to work. My desk is not that big and he is very large. It also made it quite difficult to communicate with people regarding a surprise party I was throwing for him on Saturday. Good news is he cleaned out the garage so I can’t be too irritated.
Last Friday we celebrated the trusty husband’s birthday. Friends came over for our monthly wine club meeting. I served yummy food. Kathou brought yummy food. We drank yummy wine and all was good.
Saturday was the aforementioned surprise party. I like to do things the difficult way and I couldn’t figure out how to get the trusty husband out of the house, all the people into the house and hide their cars in order to have the party. In hindsight I figured it out, but my way was more fun. I told the trusty husband that his parents were coming for lunch. It all worked out perfectly because we had wine club the night before and the trusty in-laws had the boy and had to bring him up for hockey, which is right before lunch. So we would be having them over for lunch. I am so smart. Yes I’m so smart. S-M-R-T. I then invited our friends and gave everyone a time to show up starting at 12:30. Since I couldn’t cook a bunch of food they were all tasked with showing up on time and bringing a dish (with a theme). Jon & Kerstin showed up first with bacon wrapped, goat cheese and almond stuffed dates. Next, Joel & Rai showed up with bacon wrapped lil’ smokies (which were like addictive little pieced of heart attack). Next the trusty husband’s BFF showed up. He didn’t bring anything because he was single dadding it and we forgive him for that. Next was Kevin with horseradish mashed potatoes and a shaved Brussels sprout and bacon thing (that we are totally doing for Thanksgiving). The last to show up were Neal & Tacomachickadee with bacon mac-n-cheese. Do you sense a theme here. Considering I made the trusty husband make ribs for lunch and the trusty in-laws brought Broadway Pea salad (with bacon). I told everyone the theme was Bacon Fest. I was going to go with Pork Fest, but well… that was just wrong.
The trusty husband was truly surprised (or at least that is what he is telling me after the whole guitar fiasco*). It ended up being an ingenious plan. With the first guest he just thought I’d invited some friends too and forgotten to tell him (which I would totally do). After the second guest he figured it out, but didn’t know who was coming or how many people. Friends kept showing up. It was great. The best part about the whole thing was I went out to the mailbox to see if there were any cards for him and the only thing in the box was an advertisment from St. Joe’s hospital offering free heart health screenings. Later in the evening we sat on the couch sweating cholesterol.
In other normal life news, I’ve rearranged my church work schedule and am actually doing my church work at none other than… the church. I didn’t think I would have enough time to get things done, but evidently if I shut my office door and concentrate on work I get stuff done.
Other other news. Last week I thought I was going to lose my job. After all, I work for a church and giving is down. The pastor wanted to “talk to me about my position for next year” and then I had to wait a whole week for the meeting. I was basically fuh-reaking out. It turns out, he’s noticed that I do way more work than I’m getting paid for and he wants to recommend to the council that my hours are increased next year. So not what I was thinking was going to happen. More money is always good. This is all pending council approval, but at the very least it is nice to know that he sees that I do quite a bit and would like to see my position grow. A church, want to expand it’s communications? Why I never.
Boy news. Yes, he’s still cute. Yes, he’s still smart. Yes, he has pretty much given up his nap which is causing him to be a cranky poo head about every 3rd day. Yesterday was one of those days. But he’s still cute. I would give you photos, but it is winter around here and it is basically dark all. the. time and I can’t get a good indoor photo. I’ll try.
And there you have it. My life the last few weeks. Aren’t you glad you stuck around for that?
*chirp*chirp*
More specifically, I suck at gifts for my husband. Which is odd because I love to give gifts and I love my husband. You would think it would be easy. Trouble is… he has expensive taste. I don’t purchase him clothing that often because odds are he’ll return what I purchase. He outright told me once that I don’t know how to pick ties. Oh hai! I have a good sense of color you boob. Evidently pink isn’t in his wardrobe repertoire.
I went through a jag of buying him booze for a while. Actually, that is my fall back gift. Booze and books. In my defense, I do buy very fine and expensive liquor.
I like to be creative in my gift giving. I had all of my Christmas shopping done last year before December 1st because I did most of it on Etsy. My trouble is I can’t shop online for the trusty husband because I use the Paypal account to buy everything. It is the one online thing we share. We both have 15 email accounts, but we share a Paypal account. Technically we shared an Ebay account too, but I wised up on that one this week.
The trusty husband’s birthday is Friday the 13th. I just so happened to be browsing Etsy for Christmas ideas because I had the trusty husband’s gift already picked out in my mind. I came across something I thought my brother-in-law would like for Christmas and IM’d the trusty husband the link. He shot it down, but while I was in that particular search I found a gift that the trusty husband might like. However, the gift was a little more than I really wanted to spend. The fact that the gift was on Etsy meant someone had handmade it. Meaning, I too could make it. Being the person who likes to make things difficult I began researching how to make a Cigar Box Guitar. As I was browsing the tubes of the internets I received an IM from the trusty husband with a link to a guy who makes cigar box guitars. Ironic no?
I began to think I was rather clever. That didn’t last long.
The boy and I went to the art store that afternoon to look for unfinished cigar boxes. At one time they actually had them. We didn’t have any luck. The luck got worse when the boy ratted me out at dinner and said, “me and mommy went to the art store to look for a box.” Nice kid.
Since I didn’t find the box at the art store I turned to the next logical place (in my mind) to buy a wooden cigar box. Ebay. Now remember, the trusty husband and I share an Ebay account and all of the notifications go to his email. I bid on one really cool box, but lost the auction. I thought I was sly and logged into his email account and deleted the notifications. I then created my own Ebay account because the logging into his account was rather difficult since he sits at his computer all day. I would only have to delete Paypal notifications should I win. I then bid on another box, won and as soon as the trusty husband left to go back to work I quickly paid for the box and deleted the Paypal email. I was smart. Of course I then realized that he was going to be on vacation next week not allowing me to work on said guitar on the sly. So that meant I had to get the supplies and whip the thing together on Friday (today) if I was going to have it for his birthday. This meant I couldn’t wait for the box that I’d won.
Yesterday I piled the child into the car and we drove all over hells half acre buying the supplies to make aforementioned guitar. Good news is I found a really cool Cohiba box at a local cigar store that would work perfect. I bought a neck piece at the mega home improvement store. I took my limited knowledge of the parts I needed to the music store and the patient guitar tech helped me piece together the mechanical bits I needed. I then went to Radio Shit to pick up a piece I needed to make the guitar electric and then to another mega home improvement store to buy glue and a few other bits I forgot at the first mega home improvement store. I had everything I needed (except strings because I forgot those) to make my very own electric cigar box guitar. Oh, and we don’t have an amp.
I was going to be the awesome wife and I’d finally get a gift right!
That is until the trusty husband came home and told me that if I delete things from his email I need to empty the trash. Doh. And he did some Ebay searching yesterday and the dumb little box that says “search suggestions based on your history” listed things like guitar bits sold me out.
So for my husband’s birthday… he’s getting a nice build your own cigar box guitar kit (that I get to put most of it together).
According to my Dad’s side of the family… ok, all of my family, white & nerdy pretty much describes me to the T. I am pretty pasty and I did teach myself how to code websites. In fact, I married Mr. White & Nerdy and adopted Jr. White & Nerdy. If it weren’t for my love of super cute shoes I would be up there in the down right geek range.
In order for Sweet Hope to become a 501(c)3 we have to keep very accurate financial records of sales. Theoretically, this could be done with any number of programs that are accessible to us. For instance, I have access to a copy of Quickbooks Pro. I really should be using that. However, I like to make things difficult on myself. Moreover, I’m a big fan of spreadsheets. It just so happens that Mr. White & Nerdy is the king of all White & Nerdy (except that he’s super hot so we just ignore the nerdy part) and is pro at making spreadsheets.
When he dies, if he isn’t sainted I will come down from the heavens and smote all of those who didn’t think he qualifies for sainthood. I mean honestly, he married ME. This poor man spent the week out of town working his ass off and then drove 2 1/2 hours home in the pouring rain only to have me beg him to make me a spreadsheet as soon as he walked in the door. I didn’t even offer to pour him a drink. And he did it. If that doesn’t qualify for sainthood I don’t know what does. Saving peoples lives and helping the poor are nothing compared to acquiescing to your crazy wife’s whims.
So the trusty husband created this 5 page spreadsheet that can track what customers have purchased, how much they paid for shipping, how much we paid for shipping, how much paypal took from us, how much we spent to make truffles, how many truffles and caramels I have to make, how many I get to eat extra are left over and how much money we get to send to the Baby Home. There is some other stuff in there too. When he was all finished he started to mention what would be cool is if we set it up so that I could enter how many boxes of each thing people ordered and it would automatically calculate a bunch of other stuff. Secretly, this is what I really wanted, but I didn’t want to push him into too much. My response was, “yes, I would like the super deluxe nerdy version please.”
This kind of stuff is what I really dig about owning a business. Of course, Sweet Hope makes a profit every year so that helps. If we were operating at a loss it would be a whole different story.
Don’t forget you get to start voting for your favorite flavors on Monday.
This weekend I shall be pimping my child out for candy around my mother’s neighborhood. Watch for the small person in the safety orange kitty costume. He’s overly cute and you will be compelled to give him sugary treats that his parents will later steal while he’s sleeping. Because that’s what we need in this house… more candy.
Here have a video so you forget about the fact that I just mentioned that I steal from my child.
