Hockey is just better

  • Elle's World

    • Mt. Everest

    Posted on

    When we last left the Trusty Family the husband was in Central America, the child was crying and the mother was wishing she hadn’t cut back on drinking.  Well… the husband came home, the child was still crying and the mother was still wishing for that bottle of wine.

    Let me back up.

    Last Wednesday we had our marathon in the car just to get to hockey day.  It ended on an ok note.  It wasn’t spectacular, but I channeled my inner awesome mom and we made an agreement to try again on Sunday.  Sunday rolled around and we made the drive up to the rink (I should mention that the new rink is 45 minutes away and across a toll bridge).  We had a little extra time which really ended up being extra time for the child to get worked up.  He got dressed, we waited and then went out by the ice.  When the coached opened the door the child didn’t want to go.  I did everything I could to convince the child to go.  I talked with the coach and explained the situation.  He really wasn’t much help which made me rather irritated, but I understood.  Long story short I drove 45 minutes to watch my child stand outside of a hockey rink and quit.  He didn’t step onto the ice.  We went back to the locker room, dressed into street clothes and went home (back over the toll bridge).  We walked in the door at home and somehow the conversation about quitting came up and the boy yelled at me and said, “I didn’t quit.  Why would I quit hockey?  Why would I quit the one thing in the world that I love so much?”  GAH! WHA?! *blam*

    I called the husband (who was still in Central America) and told him the story.  His response…”what am I supposed to do from 3000 miles away.”  Not what I wanted to hear my friend.

    As a family we made an agreement that the boy would give it one more shot when Dad got home.  Now for those of you who are reading this and thinking geez she sure is adamant about this hockey thing and should get over herself need to realize that my son is quite a gifted hockey player.  We’ve invested 3 years in this so far and for the past 3 years he’s loved the sport.  This all stems from the fact that we’ve changed rinks and the child. hates. change.

    Yesterday was hockey day.  We have to leave our house by 5:15 to make it to practice on time.  The boy gets off the bus at 2:40 and that gave us just enough time to have a snack and figure out his Halloween/birthday party costume situation*.  The child had his snack and we had a discussion about the costume.  Eventually he came around to wanting to be a dog.  Fantastic.  That meant I had to sew that costume.  I had would have that afternoon, Thursday afternoon and Sunday morning to finish the costume.  I could do it, but we had to go right then to get the pattern and fabric.  Apparently that was the end of the world.  From that point forward the child became irrational.

    He didn’t want to go to the fabric store because I was ruining his fun and he wouldn’t get time to play outside.  He wanted to play hockey, but just not today.  I called the husband to try to diffuse the situation.  It was at the point that nothing I said would fix it.  The child became more irrational.  His father told him to get in the car and go to the fabric store.  Oleg said he couldn’t take the phone in the car (he was using the home phone).  Finally I took the phone and told the husband to please come home.  He did.  I love him so.

    Costume situation resolved, we grabbed some dinner and headed toward the rink.  As we pulled into town the boy started to complain that his stomach hurt.  He started to complain that he didn’t want to play hockey because his stomach hurt.  He was doing everything in his power to piss me off so I would say lets turn the car around and you can quit.  I don’t quit.  I knew exactly what he was doing and I wasn’t going to let him quit.  He made a commitment to us that he would give it another try and he was going to follow through.  We spent a long while sitting in the car calming him down and getting him inside the rink.  I sent the husband down to the locker room to dress him while I sat in the warm part of the rink until he was on the ice.

    Kids started coming out, coaches started coming out… no Oleg.  30 minutes went by and no Oleg.  It wasn’t looking promising.  Then I looked up and there, on the ice, with a coach was my child.  He didn’t look happy about it, but there he was.  Two of the coaches took mercy on my child and talked him into going out.  One coach took him on a tour of the stations and introduced him to other players.  He made it all the way around and came back to the door in tears.  “My head hurts!”  Lying.  We convinced him to go back out and show us how to do one of the stations and then we’d take his helmet off.  He did and we loosened his helmet to what I felt were unsafe levels, but coach said it was fine.  Coach helped in back out and stayed with him for 2 stations.  Once he felt comfortable coach left and Oleg followed the crowd from station to station.  He’d visually check in with us and smile and give us a thumbs up.  At one point he had to go potty and as he was getting back on the ice he looked at me and said, “mom! I’m getting used to it.”

    The child stayed on the ice for a whole 50 minutes.  He participated, listened, did his best.  In the end he had fun.  When practice was over he looked at me and said, “I DID IT!”  He was so proud of himself.  As Derek and I watched our child doing his best to get over his fears we talked about the program and that we felt this was good for him.  The coaches did a magnificent job at helping him.  The program is well run.  We were happy with our decision.

    Back in the car I had to tell Oleg that he wouldn’t have practice on Sunday because of his birthday party.  He was genuinely sad about that.  Sometimes it is like climbing Mt. Everest with this child.  Anything is possible with him, but sometimes it takes hard work to make it happen.

    ——————————————-

    *the child decided to have a costume party for his birthday and had yet to pick out what he wanted to be.  The party is on Sunday and I work Thursdays-Saturdays.

    2 Comments
  • Elle's World

    • What does it take?

    Posted on

    We are into the 5th day of 10 without Derek.  Where is he?  He’s supposed to building a house with Habitat for Humanity in El Salvador.  Instead, he’s doing things like cleaning metal roofs and getting to play with kids at a local daycare center.  Why?  Because the weather map looks like this:

    Now, I’m no meteorologist, but I’m pretty sure that’s bad.  We tried to talk to him last night over Face Time, but he was in a building with a metal roof and the rain was so loud that he had to hold the iPod up to his ear to hear us.  The weather is so bad that the work site is flooded.  It is supposed to rain like that all week long.

    So the short story of where my husband is: He’s in a foreign country getting to play with kids at a daycare.  What am I doing?  Holding onto my last grip of sanity getting to entertain my child and the neighbor child.  So pretty much we’re doing the same thing thousands of miles apart.  Fun times.

    ————————————————–

    While my husband is enjoying his Central American sabbatical I have been carrying on daily tasks and household duties.  One of my projects included finding a hockey program  for the boy.  I am quite aware that the boy has been skating for the last 3 years.  I am also quite aware that most hockey programs have already started for the season.

    At the end of last season Derek talked to the coach and was told that this season they would be starting a new U-8 cross ice program.  It sounded like the perfect next step for Oleg.  We were excited about it.  The cost was going to remain the same so we wouldn’t be paying more than we had been.  He didn’t have the details, but told us that he would send them when he had them.  Round about August Derek emailed the coach (calling our rink is impossible since no one returns your call).  He asked when the program was starting and the practice time.  Coach didn’t have all the details yet and practices would begin in October.  We purposely waited on signing Oleg up since we didn’t know if we were moving and we didn’t know when soccer practices would be.  (just don’t)

    We finally received the soccer schedule and Derek once again emailed the coach.  Nothing.  Not even a return email this time.  He checked out the rink’s website to see if there was any more information.  Derek found that the U-8 development program started last Saturday.  Not a single word from the rink or the coach.

    This is where I should mention that Derek has been a volunteer mini-mite coach for the past 3 years.  Two years ago the coach quit after the second practice and Derek took over the whole program for the season.  We didn’t get a single thank you from the rink or the organization.  Last year Derek and I made an agreement that he would stay off the ice to decrease Oleg’s dependence on him.  The coach they hired to replace Derek assumed that he would continue to assist so he did.  Not a single thank you from the rink or the organization.  Now, after 3 years of working with this organization we’ve been given the shaft.

    My job was to find a new program.

    Our other local rink is closed for renovations and they don’t have a stellar hockey program anyway.  That left 2 other rinks.  Both rinks are about 30 minutes from our house.  I investigated the North rink only to find out that their Mite program costs $1500 for the season and has to be paid in full by October 1 for kids to start.  I know hockey is expensive, but even that is a little extreme.

    I investigated the West rink.  Their website doesn’t give any information about prices, but the schedule says they practice Sunday afternoons and Wednesday evenings.  This program would be perfect.  It fits into the soccer schedule.  It fits into my personal schedule.  I emailed the coach to see if there was space left and the cost involved.  Nothing.

    I understand that hockey isn’t huge in the Northwest.  I’m not trying to push my child into playing.  I was fully prepared for him to say he wanted to give it up when we asked him what he liked better, baseball or hockey.  His answer was baseball.  The reason was because he got to play games.  We hadn’t heard much about hockey from him so we assumed he didn’t want to play.  When the Autumn started he started asking about hockey.  The child wants to play.  We’ve discussed the possibility of changing rinks and he’s slightly ok with it.  I think that if it means he gets to play hockey than that’s fine.  As long has he gets to play.

    This morning I’m calling the rink to get the word.  If we get the ok to sign up then we have to drive all the way to Lynwood to get new gear (Oleg grew out of his), drive back home and be out to the rink by 6:00.  Did I mention I’m watching the neighbor girl this afternoon?

    2 Comments
  • Elle's World

    • I’m going to kiss that helmet a little

    Posted on

    My girlfriend, Alicia (aka Tacoma Chickadee), said she was going to start doing roller derby. ?I thought that might be fun seeing as I’m dumb and all (not that roller derby girls are dumb). ?Then I started talking with her about the cost of it all and it was beyond my price range. ?For that much I could play hockey and well… hockey is just better. ?Needless to say I said no.

    This week is Spring break. ?The boy is staying two glorious nights with his Auntie. ?To honor the childlessness we went out to “dinner” (I wouldn’t really call it food) and pool at a local tavern with NEAL and Alicia. ?We had to meet a little earlier because it was derby night. ?After 1 very large glass of wine and very little food later I had somehow agreed to go with Alicia to try out roller derby.

    Now I’m a pretty good skater. ?On ice that is. ?Any pitfalls that may (or may not) have happened were NOT because I had been previously drinking.

    First of all, roller skates weigh a metric ton. ?Have you worn skates outside of 1986? ?I hadn’t. ?Oh mah hell are they heavy.

    Second, roller skates don’t slide of the floor. ?Ice skates do. ?Sliding side to side is how you stop.

    And third, there is a big fatty rubber thing on the toe of the skate that can be treacherous to anyone who skates while dragging their toe.

    I should also say that Alicia and I had a conversation about what to wear (cuz you know I have to look hawt… right) and protective gear. ?She said a helmet and knee pads are handy, but not required. ?In a haste to leave the pub I didn’t grab my helmet (which was in my hockey bag in the back of my truck) and I didn’t have knee pads. ?Alicia wielded the power of her iPhone and informed me that a helmet and knee pads would magically arrive for me to use. ?I was proud, I didn’t want to wear a helmet. ?Once we got there I was convinced otherwise.

    I put on the skates and tried to get a feel for them. ?After about a 10 minute warm-up I was mostly good to go. ?I could perform a decent crossover turning left. ?All that time of playing right wing really helped. ?I wasn’t the fastest skater, but I wasn’t bad.

    Things were going well until I lost focus… (oh look butterfly!) and started dragging my toe on the turns. ?Dragging toe + giant rubber thing on toe of skate = Elle landing face down on the floor. ?Yep, I’s hit mah head. ?I hit is so hard it dented the foam in the helmet and gave my forehead a nice helmet burn. ?I pretty much laid on the floor for a while trying to determine if everything was still attached and that nothing was broken. ?Had I not been wearing the helmet I would have ended up in the ER.

    Now being the moose that I am I shook it off and continued with the remainder of practice. ?I fell again later, but on my knee (also kissing the knee pads). ?This morning I have a raging headache and feel like I’ve been hit by a mac truck.

    Will I go back for derby? ?Not sure. ?It was fun, but the prospect of falling down with very little padding on scares the bejeezus out of me. ?I might just stick to co-ed ice hockey. ?It’s safer.

    2 Comments
  • Bitch & Moan

    • Olympics Fail

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    We all know my love for Winter Olympics. ?It’s not just that I love sports such as luge, bobsleigh, skeleton, or curling. ?I do loves me some curling. ?The Winter Olympics is home to gems such as snowboard half-pipe and of course… hockey.

    I have been eagerly waiting for the start of the 2010 Winter Olympics since it was announced way back when. ?In 2006 I swore I was going to save my money and buy tickets for the entire hockey tournament in 2010. ?I had grand plans of living in Vancouver the whole time and living hockey. ?Then we found out that Americans couldn’t buy tickets unless we drove up to Vancouver and waiting in line. ?Even then we weren’t guaranteed to get tickets. ?Our Canadian friends even tried to get tickets. ?They couldn’t because they didn’t live IN Canada. ?My Olympic hopes were dashed.

    I had (begrudgingly) come to grips with my disappointment and moved on to excitement of watching the Olympics on TV. ?That was also a huge disappointment. ?The first clue in there was when the opening ceremonies were on tape delay. ?We live 2 hours away from Vancouver, but we were watching the ceremonies on a 3 hour delay. ?Such is the rest of the network coverage. ?What’s worse is that CBC lost their bid for coverage to a station that isn’t shown here. ?So we can’t even get the Canadian coverage.

    The other night the trusty husband came home to say Lindsay Vonn had won the gold in Women’s Downhill. ?Ok. ?That left me men’s snowboard half-pipe that night. ?I tuned in for the quarterfinals and the trusty husband and I got to talking about some of the hockey games. ?I logged on to NBColympics.com and the first thing on the front page, “SHAUN WHITE WINS GOLD.” ?Well shit. ?So we watched something that was Tivoed.

    Yesterday I checked the listings for Sunday’s hockey games. ?WTF? ?Outside of the the gold medal game the two best games of the entire tournament were happening on Sunday. ?Russia vs. Czech Republic and USA vs. Canada. ?The Russia v. Czech game was scheduled for 12:00 p.m. ?TV coverage? ?Didn’t start until 3:00. ?3 hour delay. ?That was ok since I had a meeting at 12:15. ?I did some yard work and came in to watch the game and had planned to flip back and forth once the US v. Canada game started. ?At 4:30 it was the end of the 2nd in Russia v. Czech so I turned to the US/Canada game. ?On the screen… the final score of the Russia/Czech game. ?feck.

    The only thing that is keeping me from beating NBC programming execs to a pulp is that they showed the US/Canada game live. ?However, in my opinion the West coast coverage of the Olympics is one giant FAIL!

    6 Comments
  • Elle's World

    • Family update

    Posted on

    I’ve always been of the mindset that if I didn’t have something to write about it was better to not force it. ?I’m pretty sure I’m right about that. ?I always hate it when people apologize for not blogging in such a long time and then they stop again. ?Man alive that’s annoying.

    My lack of inspiration comes from my brain being totally fried because of excessive yard work. ?Somehow shoveling dirt makes those last two brain cells work extra hard rendering them useless in any other capacity. ?Or maybe it is because they are running around saying, “what do we do?!” while watching my child romp and play on a pile of bark dust (in shorts and no shoes). ?Doesn’t that make you cringe just a little bit? ?It does me because I picked about 400 splinters out of my feet yesterday.

    So since you always get an update on me I’ll do a little on on the remaining members of our household.

    The trusty husband:

    He too contracted the not-swine-flu-although-we-now-think-it-might-have-been. ?He was a saint and took care of the child while I lay on my death bed. ?When I got a little better I took care of the child so he could die in peace. ?Luckily neither of us died, but the child still gets chips for snack. ?In the test of wills I won as Derek caved and went to the doctor. ?He was diagnosed with a sinus infection and prescribed antibiotics. ?I, however, continue to incubate the super virus. ?In addition to being sick I roped him into a gardening project where this weekend he will have to build 2 small retaining walls. ?He will do it because he loves me, but will secretly plot to smother me in my sleep.

    The boy:

    For sale: 1 small child. ?Only whines, argues, cries and sasses 90% of the time. ?The remaining 10% he is an adorable little angel. ?This time I’m actually joking.

    He has gotten to the age where you can almost reason with him. ?Although we have our moments. ?Like how he refuses to believe that there are not chunks in his strawberry yogurt despite us telling him every day that the chunks are in Daddy’s yogurt, not his. ?He still plays mostly alone, but is figuring out that friends are pretty cool. ?He is no longer afraid of pine cones. ?The exact opposite really. ?He now collects them. ?That was pretty annoying at first, but is becoming more fun. ?He is discovering that there are different types and pretty soon we’ll pull out the book learn the real names of the trees (insert plant geek language here).

    Naps are becoming fewer and fewer, but that will be ok in the summer. ?We have plenty to keep us busy.

    He has become quite the little hockey player. ?He now works with his coaches instead of clinging to his father. ?It took the right wording to make that happen. ?He also skates the whole hour with his stick and is finally trying to go after the puck. ?We figure by the end of next year the NHL should be calling.

    Fat & Dumb:

    still fat and still dumb only with 20% more throwing up.

    2 Comments
  • Elle's World

    • A funny thing happened at the hockey rink

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    So you’ve heard me talk about Dr. Awesome before.? How I love my OB/gyn and that he actually listens and that despite being a man he is sensitive to the fact that I can’t have children and gets it.? I’ve gotten over the fact that he said the dreaded words last year of, “I think it might be time to see a RE”.? I forgive him for that.? I know I need to.? It’s ok.

    I’m pretty sure I also told you that while I was going through my post-surgery appointments the subject came up that I played hockey.? Come to find out that Dr. Awesome also played hockey.? In fact, he had recently transferred to WA from San Jose where he happened to be the doc for many of the wives of the San Jose Sharks.? Yeah, Dr. Awesome is not only awesome because he’s a good doc, but because he delivered Evgeni Nabokov’s baby and Owen Nolan’s baby.? The team threw him a big party when he left CA.? It was all a great story that I could tell people.? Because I have an awesome doc.

    I also learned that Dr. Awesome happened to play for the hockey league that I had previously played for.? In fact, he played for one of the opposing teams.? I had played against him, but didn’t realize it.

    Then today happened.

    So I’m sitting in the locker room at the rink helping to get the boy dressed.? Moreover, I was waiting for the team manager to get there so we could do things like gossip about other parents and the like.? I know bad, but hey, it’s what makes freezing my ass off in a meat locker more fun.? So I’m sitting there and in walks this dad behind the team manager.? I’m thinking, “hey, I know that guy…wait, I KNOW that guy”.? You guessed it.? Dr. Awesome walked into the locker room.

    Evidently, his son is now old enough to join the class that the boy takes.

    The good and bad news is that he didn’t recognize me.? Funny.? Guess it was the wrong angle.

    This should make my annual exam in April much more interesting.

    9 Comments
  • Elle's World

    • My Valentine’s was way better than yours

    Posted on

    There is a list of holidays that I believe are a big waste of time.? New Year’s for one.? The point is to stay up late and get drunk.? Hell, I could do that on a Tuesday.? Valentine’s is another.? I guess this is partially because of my history with one of the companies that helped perpetuate Valentine’s.? When the holiday came the day after Christmas it lost all of it’s flair.

    Needless to say we don’t do much for Valentine’s.? I would much rather spend it with my boys sitting around at home.

    This year we had the opportunity to do something very fun.? One of the coaches for the boy’s hockey team arranged for the Mini Mite program to skate during the 1st intermission at a Seattle Thunderbirds game.? It just so happened that the game we were given was on Saturday.? Valentine’s Day.? So I spent my entire weekend engrossed in hockey fun.? I couldn’t think of anything better.

    Saturday morning we had practice.? Hour and a half of hockey fun.? That evening we had to be at ShoWare center by 5:45.? Game started at 7:05.? We arrived promptly along with the other 106 people in our group.? The trusty husband had the pleasure of escorting the child to the locker room to dress and get ready for the “big event.”? We had spent the past 2 weeks prepping the child for this.? He has become quite the good little skater, but does not like to skate with his stick.? We talked with the coaches about him wanting to do it, but being afraid of him wandering aimlessly by himself.? He’s not quite a team player.? They assured us that they wouldn’t let that happen.? We also told the boy that daddy couldn’t go out onto the ice to help him.? Oddly, he seemed ok with this.

    During the whole first period the child kept asking if it was his turn yet.? “Not quite yet,” we’d tell him.? He was so excited when the coaches told them it was time to go.? I was so nervous for the boy that my stomach was in knots.? I’m rather glad that his father was the one to get him dressed.

    In the end he did a great job.? I have a few photos of the event and a video of his time on the ice, but for some reason WordPress doesn’t like them.? So you get this one (sort of blurry) photo.? This is after they are done skating walking back to the locker room.? Derek took it as he had that vantage point.

    victory

    Believe it or not… he is all smiles.

    5 Comments
  • Elle's World

    • Russian Goodness

    Posted on

    There may be a few of you out there wondering what happened to all of that money I sent to Russia.? Actually I never quite told you the remainder of the money story.? Here’s that part first.

    I calculated and recalculated the amount that we received for Sweet Hope.? We paid back all of the money we used to purchase the supplies and were left with $1700 (almost to the penny).? I carefully read Galina’s email to make sure I knew how to send such a large amount to Russia.? Far East Siberia if you will recall.? The original plan was to seek the help of a woman at St. Martin’s University however she is no longer at the University.? Galina also did some checking with a woman who is the Vice-President of the Slavyanka Women’s Society (the group helping us) and she said the fastest, safest and easiest way to send $1700 to Russia is via Western Union.? Wha?? You want me to Western Union over a grand half way around the world?? Well, Western Union has been around for a long time.? I guess it will work.? I also figured that I could do it from the (dis)comfort of my own desk chair.? I set off to send the money only to find out that WU wanted to charge me over $100 for the transfer.? Also, all I needed was the person’s name and the country.? No city.? No phone number.? I was skeptical so I aborted my online transfer and opted for the face to face WU agent.

    The 23rd of December I went to a local Safeway and talked to the WU agent.? She told me that I only needed a name and a country.? Now that is a scary proposition.? I trusted this woman and filled out my form.? The good news was that the fee was 1/2 of what I would have paid online.? I sent my money and did a little clenching until I could get to a computer to email Galina the control number.? Bye bye $1700.? It was nice knowing you.

    On Christmas Day I received an email from Galina saying that Tatiana had received the money and that she was so excited she immediately went out and started purchasing things for their Christmas celebration.? She said that the children will get candy, chocolates and toys from Father Frost.? It was the best Christmas gift I have ever gotten.? She said that she also sent an article to the local paper about what we had done.? She would send me all of the information after their holidays were over (January 11th, they celebrate Christmas and New Years 1 week later than we do).

    So I waited.? Nothing.? I was starting to lose hope.? I was set to email Galina this morning when I opened up Outlook to this…

    Dear Lisa and Derek, hi! The christmas holidays have passed, the labour everyday lives have begun. Three local newspapers have printed about your help. I have made copies from these newspapers. I know, that “Baby House” have bought gifts from the grandfather of a frost (chocolate, candy and toy).? But taking into account, that money has acted(arrived) late, all money is not spent completely. I have called Tatjana and she has told me, that February 1 will be presented me by(with) the complete report on money and will transfer photos. So I shall send you all about of number 1-4 of February.
    Transfer large hi everyone, who helped you.
    With love, Galina

    So sometime in the next few weeks I’ll get another update.? What I do know is that the children in Baby House #2 of Khabarovsk had a little Christmas celebration and it was all thanks to you.

    Now, for some additional Russian Goodness…

    first-hockey-photo

    Isn’t that just about the cutest thing you’ve ever seen?

    12 Comments
  • Elle's World

    • And here I thought I was going to get some extra drawing time

    Posted on

    Every Saturday I do the requisite hockey mom thing and drive my child to the rink.? Ok, Derek drives to the rink and I go along for the ride.? The boy still won’t let his father off the ice and the coaches are ok with this.? They can use the extra help anyway.? Since the husband is otherwise occupied this gives me a “free” hour to do such things as work (I’ve taken my laptop before), work on craft projects or even draw.? Handy.? I sit on a hard little bench and occasionally look out through the glass to see my child actually participating in hockey lessons.? It’s a win win for everyone.

    Yesterday we started the second of 3 sessions this hockey season.? Each session is 3 months long.? The trusty in-laws brought the boy up from spending the night and they stayed to watch the lesson.? I beamed as my child was working with the coaches and NOT screaming.? One coach set him straight and said dad could be on the ice, but that he was going to work with coaches this time.? I like them better already.

    After the lesson I was wandering the locker room halls and the head coach caught me.? He asked if I would be out on the ice this session.? Um… I hadn’t planned on it so I made him directly tell me that he wanted my help out there.? There was a lot of non-committal “well it wouldn’t hurt.”? Let’s just cut to the chase Gary, do you want me out there or not?? The answer was yes.

    This weekend we happened to have cross-ice on Sunday.? This means 2 lessons in a weekend.? I agreed to bring my helmet (I always have my skates).? I dress and again the coaches set my child straight.? Derek and I run drills with the kids, which is a bit of us participating in the drills and more slacking off.? But we’re pro slackers so it really looks like we’re doing something.

    After drills the kids get to play a little mini hockey game and this is where I elevate slacking to a whole new level.? I stand around and yell at kids to skate faster or get the puck.? Only today coach comes over to me and says, “ok, we’re going to teach mom how to stop.”? Crap.? I’ve been playing hockey/skating for 4 years now.? I’ve gotten by just fine without know how to stop.? Stopping (or learning to stop) means the potential for me falling down.? Doesn’t he know how easily I bruise?? Honestly.? There’s nothing worse than flabby fat white legs with giant purple bruises all over them.

    I indulge the guy and do what I’m told.? Only this coach is known as “coach push-ups.”? I’d best listen or I’d find myself sprawled out on the ice huffing and puffing to get myself up.? Little did I know how hard I would have to work.? And not only did the head coach try to teach me, but the other 3 did as well.? The boy’s favorite coach skates over to see what’s going on and they tell him that they are trying to teach me how to stop.? He says, “oh, just snow plow.”? Yeah, cause the other 2 didn’t try that approach already.? What do I look like?? Some pecker wood jackass?? I am 32 years old, out of shape with a bad hip and knee.? They’re lucky I’m on the damn skates I’m so out of shape.

    And what was the lesson that I took away from this?? Stopping is hard.? Ice is harder when you fall down and next week I’m bringing hockey pants.? They aren’t letting me off the hook.

    4 Comments
  • Elle's World

    • Irritating Hockey Stuff

    Posted on

    I was going to do the final update for you on how the whole truffles thing turned out.? However, I am currently sitting in a fricken cold hockey rink watching my child pretend that he actually likes hockey.? Moreover, he’s pretending that he doesn’t know how to skate so his parents will give up.? Truth is the kid can skate, and he can actually skate well (for a 4 year old).? He just missed his Dad this week and doesn’t want to let him out of his sight.? Mommy?? Well, he’s tired of her.

    I have mixed feelings about this hockey thing.? He does like it.? He says he has fun.? He loves one of the coaches and he’s good.? The boy… well the coach too.? My problem is with the program in general.

    The boy’s class is up to 30 kids now.? There are technically only 3 coaches for the class.? The class has grown so much that they are letting parents on the ice, recruiting other coaches and some high school kids to help teach.? Ths is all well and good, but the littlest kids, the ones who are just learning how to skate are falling through the cracks.? That would include my kid.? I don’t expect this to be a one on one hockey session, but I do think that I am paying them to teach my kid, not paying them for Derek to teach my kid.

    Last week the guy who is the head of the program told us that he was going to arrange a coach to work one on one with the boy, just for today.? When we got here there was no coach for Oleg.? And I’m a little pissed about it.

    I want to keep the boy in hockey.? He is improving, but not at the rate he could be.? When I signed up I thought this was a learn to skate program.? Not an open ice for kids on actual teams program.? My only other option at this point is to move him to another rink, but we would lose the coach the boy loves.? That and the other rink is 40 minutes away from our house.? It is a horrible catch 22.

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