Fat & Dumb

  • Elle's World

    • Cat Stalker

    Posted on

    I am still working through photos of China. ?Don’t worry, I’ll post some… eventually.

    In other news…

    I’ve once again started stalking the local humane society website. ?If you weren’t aware I did this for 2 year prior to us getting Busy, the dog… gah! ?We all really wanted a dog, the trusty husband wanted to rescue one, we ended up getting one as a gift. ?Funny how that works out.

    If you are friends with the trusty husband on Facebook you will know that our other cat died while I was in China. ?Please recall I had to put my baby girl to sleep on June 28th. ?On July 19th Julius unexpectedly died in the hallway of our house. ?The trusty husband was supposed to be taking him to the vet later that morning.

    We suspect he may have had some sort of cancer. ?He had lost a ton of weight, constantly threw up, but we weren’t in time to diagnose the problem. ?Odds are we couldn’t have afforded the treatment anyway.

    The crappy part about the whole thing is that I was gone when it happened. ?The trusty husband was out of town when Kitty died. ?One for me and one for him I guess. ?Since the moment is past I don’t have a sappy post to write about this particular cat. ?I had him longer than I’ve been married to the trusty husband. ?If that doesn’t say something about our relationship I’m not sure what else will. ?He had a stupid purr and loved bacon.

    With both of my cats gone there is this giant hole in our house. ?I haven’t been without a cat in 15 years. ?Before that I had my previous cat for 16 or 17. ?Only 2 or 3 years out of 34 of my life have I been cat-less. ?When Kitty died we said we wouldn’t get another one until Julius died. ?We just didn’t expect him to die 3 weeks later. ?I think he just didn’t want to live without his partner.

    The problem with us getting new cats is Busy. ?She’s slightly high strung. ?We’re afraid of her mauling two baby kitties. ?Now before you go and say, “well, adopt older cats,” you have to realize how much I love baby kitties. ?LUUURRRVVE them. ?The snuggly and meww and cute and GAH! ?I’m not sure how long I can wait before I say screw it and go pick up a kitten or 12.

    3 Comments
  • Elle's World

    • A rough day

    Posted on

    Today I did one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. ?Pretty much second only to losing Alexander. ?I had to make the choice to put my sweet kitty to sleep.

    By myself.

    You see… Derek is out of town. ?He won’t be home until tomorrow night and odds were kitty wouldn’t make it that long. ?When I woke up this morning she wasn’t walking, force feeding her wasn’t helping and her face and head started swelling. ?I took her to the vet before work and they said they would look after her. ?Later in the afternoon I spoke with the vet and she said that at this point no amount of diagnostics and treatment were going to help her. ?She was done.

    I was able to take time from work to drive back to the vet’s office to say goodbye. ?She was miserable. ?I held her and told her it was going to be ?ok and then the vet allowed me to hold her until she fell asleep. ?They took her away to euthanize her. ?I didn’t want to be there for that. ?I opted for a communal cremation and they dispose of the ashes in Puget Sound, one of my favorite places on Earth.

    I left the vet’s office feeling like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. ?I ran some errands for the store and it just so happened that there was a liquor store in the same strip mall as the two other stores I had to go to. ?I stopped in for a bottle of gin.

    My boss is so awesome that he had a drink with me this afternoon.

    kitty

    So here’s to you Kitty, Keeska, Kiki, Titi, Fat Kitty, Jelly Belly, Smelly Belly, Isi girl, Kitty Girl, Baby Girl…Isis.

    18 Comments
  • Elle's World

    • Crazy Cat Lady

    Posted on

    Warning: as of this writing I am on my 3rd shot of gin.

    ————————————

    If you come to my house you will be greeted with a few things. ?The first is my crazy dog. ?Once you get past her (if this is your first time visiting) you will be offered a drink and then shown how to get your own from then on. ?The third thing that will greet you are my cats. ?Julius will be the first to greet and then maybe, if her royal highness deems you worthy, Isis will show her presence. ?Your first reaction at the sight of this cat is, “damn, what are you feeding her?” ?Kitty (what we normally call her) is fat. ?We all know she is fat. ?She always has been. ?She’s a tiny little cat, but is so blubber you can’t help but squish her.

    Lately, Kitty has gotten slightly more blubbery. ?She started to get fat rolls over her elbows. ?Then she started laying down in random places. ?Then, last week, as I was trimming her nails I noticed that her skin was red. ?That last one caused me to call the vet. ?In 14 years this cat has only been to the vet a handful of times. ?She never gets sick.

    The doctor asked us if she was always blubbery like that. ?She is fat and rather squishy rather than thick and fat. ?We said, yes. ?Well come to find out, the blubber (that we thought was just fat) is fluid. ?There may be fat in there somewhere, but what she’s put on in the past few weeks is fluid. ?They kept the cats (we took both for senior wellness checks) for the day on Friday and when we picked them up the Vet filled us in on her condition. ?It’s pretty serious.

    There is no clear diagnosis, but the office sent out for labs. ?That is what we knew at the end of the day yesterday. ?Fluid, not good, blah blah blah. ?This morning we woke up and Derek noticed that Kitty’s whole neck and chest were all wet. ?Her front legs were also wet. ?What is happening is that everywhere they poked her to try to get a blood sample is like popping a hole in a water balloon. ?She is leaking. ?It is pretty constant and 24 hours later it is still happening.

    I called the vet’s office this morning and the vet called back. ?The leaking is fine. ?It won’t hurt her. ?However, what the vet told Derek is that it is possible that she might have cancer. ?She isn’t to that diagnosis yet, but she wants to run more tests and do an ultrasound. ?All to the tune of much more money than we have.

    I found all of this out about 10 minutes before I was supposed to walk out the door to go to work. ?So I pretty much moped around the store while the boys did everything they could to cheer me up. ?They are good boys (boys at the store, not my boys, but my boys are good too).

    I’m very worried about my baby girl. ?Imagine your most treasured pet. ?That is Kitty. ?I love both of my cats very much, but Kitty is my little sidekick. ?The thought of something being wrong with her is slowly killing me. ?So much so that I just sent Derek out to purchase frozen dinners.

    7 Comments
  • Busy

    • My Little Piggy

    Posted on

    Last weekend we were able to get out and enjoy the sunny weather. ?We took Busy for a walk at Chambers Bay and the sun was just starting to set (at all of 3:30 in the afternoon). ?By the time we got to the half way point of our 2 1/2 ?mile walk we stopped and I snapped a few photos of Busy. ?Thought I’d share my pretty girl with you.

    busygirl

    boxer

    Life with a gigantic puppy is going along rather well. She now sleeps in her kennel all night long with little troubles and no accidents. The last straw to the kennel training was the 6 nights in a row waking up to let her out at 2 a.m. and finding poop everywhere or letting her out at 2 a.m. for her to not really do anything then come back into the house, let us get almost asleep and then having her come back in our room to indicate that she had indeed pooped all over the house. Kennel training was like ripping off a bandaid. We threw her in there (with a few toys and a blanket) shut the kennel door, shut the family room door and ignored her. The first night I got up and put her out at 3 a.m., but after that she’s gone the whole night without much of a fuss. Now she still has a tendency to pee on the boy’s carpet. The dog is basically not allowed anywhere near carpet anymore.

    One cat has pretty much adjusted to the dog. The other cat can’t leave well enough alone and the dog has yet to learn. If Busy comes within 10 feet of Julius (aka dumb) he growls at the dog. No amount of growling, claws out swatting or cat dying screeching will deter this dog or the cat. The cat is now taking his frustrations out on us and scratched the trusty husband this evening. He is old and we are cutting him major slack, but if he does it again I’m throwing him out in the rain. That’ll learn em.

    The boy-dog relationship is also improving, but there is still the cycle of hyper and screeching that drives me batshit crazy.

    And now I’ve gone from the crazy cat lady to the crazy dog lady. ?Hey, I was just here to show you photos. ?YOU’RE the one that kept reading.

    1 Comment
  • Elle's World

    • Fierce

    Posted on

    I run the risk of jumping the shark and being dubbed the crazy cat lady with this one, but I couldn’t resist.

    She always seems to find the way to squeeze her fat ass into any little spot.? Especially if there is paper involved.

    Her coy look.

    Smiling with her eyes.? Watch out Tyra Banks.

    7 Comments
  • Fat & Dumb

    • Help me oh wise internets

    Posted on

    I’m in a bit of a parenting pickle.? My child.? Oh my child.? He needs a sibling so badly.? Or at least someone (besides me) to play with on a regular basis.? He now thinks our cats are his best mates.? Mates as in friends.? Dear lord I’ve been watching too much BBC America.

    Anyway.? This child.? The child is always in the cats’ faces.? With the screaming and laughing.? They sit on the back or arm of the couch or chair and he will get right in their faces and scream or yell.? He hits the couch or chair right by their heads.? He pokes them with random objects.? He chases them around the house.? He throws things at them.? And these poor cats are as docile as can be.? In the time we’ve had the boy home Julius (our old crotchety cat) has scratched the boy twice.? He has smacked the child in the face multiple times (no claws out) and hissed at him a few times.? But Isis.? Fat little Isis.? This cat is so gentle.? She is so patient.? I have only ever seen her hiss at a child once.? But there were 3 three year olds and they had cornered her.? Isis takes the brunt of most of the boy’s abuse.? Seeing as Julius scratched the child an all.

    What’s funny is that Isis is the smart one of the two.? However, Julius has taken to hiding from the child whereas fatty, she just sits there.

    Tonight I witnessed the child throw a flashlight at the cat.? She didn’t do anything.? Then, we were folding laundry and we told the boy the laundry basket wasn’t a toy.? That’s when he got pissed and threw a cup right at the cat’s head.? No joke.? Right in front of us.? It hit her square in her little bean of a head.? She just stared at the child all, what the hell kid?

    Normally, the logical consequence for harassing a cat would be a good scratch and that would be the end of it.? Problem is, my cats don’t scratch.? They just try to run away from the child which in turn causes the child to chase after them thinking it’s a game.? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve told that child to stop harassing the cats.? Hundreds, even thousands.? Nothing works.? I’ve put him on a naughty chair.? I’ve taken away toys and privileges.? I’ve taken away bedtime stories.? Everything I can think of.? Nothing works.? Everyday is the same old thing.

    So help me internets.? I need some creative parenting.? Short of grabbing a cat paw myself and giving the child a big ol’ swipe I don’t know what to do.? These poor cats are old and crusty.? They can’t take it anymore.

    15 Comments
  • Elle's World

    • The mid month mark

    Posted on

    I haven’t thrown my computer out of the window yet, but today starts my 2 weeks of monthly work so we’ll see.

    We’ve hit the mid month mark on this MoFoBloPo* (NaBloPoMo) thing and this is the point where I start to ask myself why. I can’t even cheat and throw out a post I’ve had saved forever. Mostly because I don’t want to cheat, but also because I just don’t have any saved. I usually have at least 1 or 2 floating around. Ok, there are 3, but one is just a photo, one is a how to on creating a moss basket (not so much the time for that) and the last is totally haphazard. See, nothing.

    I don’t have the brain power to throw out a bullet list. How sad is that.

    Lemme see… you want to hear more about potty training? I didn’t think so.

    So you get my own LOL Cat.

    dscf0008.JPG
    I iz on ur bed lik’n my butt

    5 Comments
  • Elle's World

    • My own personal Greek tragedy

    Posted on

    Yes the boy is getting physically better. Thank you for asking. However, I still want to sell him on Ebay this week. Due to the illness he is milking it for all it is worth and everything is the worst thing that could possibly happen to him. Call 911! he got a puzzle piece stuck on his finger this morning. And then there was the time that I closed the pantry door. God forbid. Clearly I wasn’t aware that the door must remain open for my son to live. Of course then there is all the breathing I do. I might as well be sucking his oxygen out of the room.

    Not only is my son sick, my cat is now sick too. I was idly sitting at my computer trying to do something like work (since I haven’t done that in like a week) when the damn cat comes to bug the shit out of me. Normally this cat only does that when he hasn’t been fed. I play sucker and feed him some more food. Just because he is irritating me. Then I go to get the boy up because, of all the silly things, we have to go to the pediatrician’s office this afternoon. And here I thought the 3 hours we spent at the hospital yesterday would be enough. In the hall on the way to the boy’s room I find cat throw up. This isn’t unusual. My cats are world class pukers. Only this time the puke is red. Ok, let’s just be gross here. It’s bloody. That so can’t be good. Don’t go giving me assvice on tainted cat food. It’s not that. If anything it is the carpet fibers he’s been chewing on because he’s dumb and thinks that white strings are grass.

    Of course I have to walk out the door to go to the non-fur child’s doctor so I called the trusty husband to find a vet. Yeah, we don’t have one of those here.

    So the non-fur child is fine. The fur child on the other hand had to stay over night so they could collect urine, stool and blood samples from him. That thing is going to leap into my arms and hug me tomorrow when I pick him up. Either that or puke on my shoes.

    10 Comments
  • Fat & Dumb

    • If Mike Tyson were a cat

    Posted on

    We got home from the store the other night and I noticed something on the ear of one of our cats. Upon closer inspection I discovered it was dried blood. Evidently our cats had a little argument while we were out buying them cat food. J, our dumb male cat, probably pissed I, our fat female cat, off. She doesn’t take crap from anyone.

    Our house looked like something out of a CSI episode. You could follow the trail of "evidence" all over the house.

    Exhibit #1: I had a crusty substance on her fur. This was either J slobber (which it usually is) or J’s dried blood.

    Exhibit #2: A big spot of dried blood on J’s ear and a missing chunk of said ear. (see photo below)

    Exhibit #3: Drops of dried blood in the hall

    Exhibit #4: More dried blood in the TV cabinet in our bedroom

    Exhibit #5: clumps of grey cat hair on the floor in front of said TV cabinet.

    Exhibit #6: tufts of hair coming out of grey cat.

    Exhibit #7: tufts of orange cat hair stuck in the claws of said grey cat.

    Now I don’t have that fancy CSI testing equipment, but I think this is enough evidence to prove that Isis pulled a Mike Tyson on J. Although, I am sure he totally deserved it.

    Does this look like the face of a vicious lunatic to you?
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  • Fat & Dumb

    • If Mike Tyson were a cat

    Posted on

    We got home from the store the other night and I noticed something on the ear of one of our cats. Upon closer inspection I discovered it was dried blood. Evidently our cats had a little argument while we were out buying them cat food. J, our dumb male cat, probably pissed I, our fat female cat, off. She doesn’t take crap from anyone.

    Our house looked like something out of a CSI episode. You could follow the trail of “evidence” all over the house.

    Exhibit #1: I had a crusty substance on her fur. This was either J slobber (which it usually is) or J’s dried blood.

    Exhibit #2: A big spot of dried blood on J’s ear and a missing chunk of said ear. (see photo below)

    Exhibit #3: Drops of dried blood in the hall

    Exhibit #4: More dried blood in the TV cabinet in our bedroom

    Exhibit #5: clumps of grey cat hair on the floor in front of said TV cabinet.

    Exhibit #6: tufts of hair coming out of grey cat.

    Exhibit #7: tufts of orange cat hair stuck in the claws of said grey cat.

    Now I don’t have that fancy CSI testing equipment, but I think this is enough evidence to prove that Isis pulled a Mike Tyson on J. Although, I am sure he totally deserved it.

    Does this look like the face of a vicious lunatic to you?
    3 Comments