I hate writing about my depression. Really. 9 times out of 10 I get at least one comment that I should be medicating myself with some sort of pharmaceutical. It’s not that I’m against Western medicine. I don’t feel that option is the best for me. I can, with certainty, say that I am not sitting around wallowing in my own self pity when it comes to SAD. There is no woe is me in this house. If that were the case I’d lay around in my house coat and never shower. Better yet, I’d stay in my nice warm bed and never get out. But I do get out of the bed every day, I shower every day and I get dressed. I may not be the most fashionable every day, but I don’t wear my pjs at 3 in the afternoon.
I recognize that I have problems and I really am doing something about them. I see an acupuncturist 1-2 times a month. (come on February 8th!) I take Chinese Herbs to help with the depression and the endomitriosis pain (which is quite severe on occasion). I do my best to get outside as often as possible. I am working at getting better. I may never be 100%. I don’t think I ever was 100%. Hell I wouldn’t know what it feels like if I got to that level.
What I can say is I know there is a difference between now and this time last year. Or this time last June for that matter. Last May and June (sunny spring weather) I yelled at my child. I was much more impatient. I was angry. It was a combination of things that led me to where I am today. My child still irritates me, but I can see past the food flinging and laugh at his off jokes. I melt when he gets right in my face and says, “time to get up mom.” Or when he crawls up in my lap and says, “I love you mommy.” Before there would be a knee jerk reaction of, “boy, you are hurting me” as jams his knee into my uterus. Not any more.
I have my down days. I am allowed to have my down days. They are few and far between. I write about them for the same reason I chronicled as less than perfect adoption journey. Because there is someone out there with the same issues. I know I am not the only one with SAD. I know I am not the only one with pain from endo. And that other person(s) will be happy to know they aren’t alone either.
The sun will come out. And I do live my life a little better, but it isn’t through chemistry. It is through what is produced naturally. And I prefer it that way.
I think it is great you are finding alternatives.
And I shower and get dressed every day (make up and hair doing is a different story) but I tend to have my bath robe on over my clothes because it is so cold…that still counts, right?
I definately agree with you for myself. As a future psychologist (cognitive researcher, not therapist) I understand some disorders and some people need chemical help. And, I have plenty of friends where that’s the only thing that works for them (big problems and smaller). But, drugs are not the answer a lot of the time. Besides, who needs all those side effects and that wonky (there’s those big science words) feeling that can come with them. I’m glad you’re seeing results through natural means. (to those of you that are on meds: glad you’re getting the help you need too)
I get you….I do not have the patience for the natural ways to work… FOR ME…I am happy that works for you and I hope that through your posting that someone who needs help with SAD can get it the way that you do if that is good for them. I never intended for you to take my points about paxil seriously FOR YOU…you have to do what is good for you and it sounds like you are…we all have our moments and times to be down…some of us even take advantage of them.hehe
If the plan you have is working for you then that’s all that matters. The only time I would disagree with natural methods is if your quality of life were suffering. Many people can’t get out of the black without meds, body chemistry can play cruel tricks. I believe alternative treatments should always be tried first and if you are finding things are better and you see life as good on MOST days then you are normal. Kudos to YOU!!!!
You’re makin’ me want to send the hubby to an acupuncturist.
Hi,
I thought when I moved from MN the SAD would go away in sunny AZ, but we live up north and we’ve had several gray, somewhat damp, snowy days in a row and it’s got me down. That and the adoption mess we have going on. My husband is going to work in Phx for a wk and that really depresses me more. Our 20 month old has good days and then he’ll be into everything all day. Good news? I am going to Phx next wk (see specialist dr for my rotator cuff issues) and I’ll see palm trees and have sun. It’s been a saving grace in the past to drive a couple of hrs and have palm trees. Hang in there!
Thanks for last nights dinner sweetie. I had a great time (if you couldn’t tell, I’ll blog all about it too 🙂