Sometimes Chemo Sucks

Ok, let’s be honest.  Chemo always sucks.  They’re filling your body full of toxic poisons that require a myriad of other drugs to mitigate the symptoms of the actual chemo.  Even though you take that myriad of other drugs many of the side effects get through and it knocks you down to your most pitiful self.  This is me.  Or at least it has been me the past few days.

Infusion day wasn’t terrible.  I was tired, but it was doable.  Sunday wasn’t so bad either.  I can’t remember much of what I did, but I don’t recall it being all that bad.  Monday and Tuesday left me in tears both days.

After surgery I had days where I felt so horribly lazy, but I was in pain so I felt I had the right to be lazy.  With chemo it’s just a debilitating fatigue.  I can barely keep my eyes open and at times the most I can do is get up to go to the bathroom or go downstairs to grab a mediocre bite to eat.  

My big event Monday was showering and shuffling around the grocery store to see if there was anything that tasted good.  Beyond that I slept.  Tuesday I did go up to school because we had to take the boy for his last day (all of 2 hours).  I put away vases and cleaned up a few things.  I then came home to sleep most of the day.  My day long nap was enough to give me enough energy to water plants outside and make some dinner (with assistance).  However, I wasn’t able to eat much of the dinner.  

My wish is that today is much better.  Breakfast went down a bit easier this morning and I’m feeling a little more alert.  I slept a little better last night as well.

I hate all of this and know that it is only temporary.  Chemo will end just like surgery recovery.  Radiation will start and that will be hard too, but in the end the result will be a cancer free life.  Fingers crossed.

5 Comment

  1. Mom says: Reply

    It’s such a sucky road, but you’ll round the corner and it will be unicorns and flowers once you roll over that big hill. (it’s a doozy) Just remember to rest when you’re tired, eat whatever sounds good, and not sweat the little stuff. Gardening next summer will rock, Oleg will give you teenager whoas, and creative ideas will flow from your fingertips. Press thru it honey, and know you are supported by us all. Big hugs baby!! <3

  2. Rai says: Reply

    It won’t last forever, but being in the thick of it is serious hard work. Your amazing body is working so hard. I hope there is an easier day in between the hard ones.

  3. Jessica says: Reply

    *hugs* Listen to your mother! 😉 Resting isn’t being lazy or not helping out, it’s time where your body is healing and recovering. Dream and plan for next year, and know that you will beat cancer!

  4. Debi says: Reply

    Lisa…please be lazy. Please sleep. Please know you are loved.

  5. Karen says: Reply

    I can’t imagine the word lazy even being in your vocabulary!
    Your body just needs all the energy it can get to do the hard work of healing.

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