The serger story

I decided to join the quilters group at church. ?The median age of the quilters group is about 82. ?I do it because I like old church ladies and the quilts go to a good cause. ?Old church ladies make the best snacks.

A few weeks ago I was working with one of the ladies and another woman came over asking if I had any use for a serger. ?I always have use for sewing equipment. ?I asked how much the person wanted for the serger and this woman was pretty sure the lady was giving it away (it was coming from this lady’s neighbor). ?Hells yes I’ll take a free serger. ?I’ll take a free anything (by the way, does anyone have a free refrigerator? ?The Sweet Hope one died last week and I have to make truffles the first two weeks of February). ?I agree to the free serger and last Monday the quilter lady showed up with the thing. ?Sweet!

Last Wednesday I busted it out to give it a shot. ?45 minutes of trying to thread the thing and I was cooking with gas. ?I needed something to sew so I decided to make the dog a new sweater (don’t ask). ?I get to sewing and all of a sudden my new serger comes to a grinding halt. ?Ok, it was more of a long drawn out squeaky halt. ?I do what any other sane and handy person would do, I first oiled the snot out of it and then took it apart and then I read the directions. ?The directions that say the machine is made from oil impregnated metal and shouldn’t need to be oiled because it makes a linty mess and the lint acts like a giant oil sponge and could clog things up. ?And also when I took the back off of it the motor was kinda hot and sparky when I ran the machine. ?Hello, linty.

So then I started looking ?for a new motor. ?Because honestly those sewing machine repair guys are a bunch of rip-off artists (kinda like a certain locksmith).

I let the serger sit for a while and when the trusty husband got home I told him the saga of my FREE machine. ?I then proceeded to show him my bunk serger and damn if that thing didn’t work properly. ?I hate it when my free shit works like it is supposed to. How else am I going to find stuff to complain about?

Then Friday I had the day to myself so I went to the fabric store for new serger thread that wasn’t blue or red and while I was at it I thought I’d get new needles for it. ?I’m sure the thing could stand to have a needle change. ?I carefully wrote down the type of needle I needed. ?I’m not a complete idiot.

I poured over the types of needles and settled on an 11/75 universal. ?I get home, spend the next hour rethreading and rethreading and moving needles and rethreading and moving needles and rethreading this darn machine. ?The needle would not catch the other threads. ?I was stumped. ?I then pulled the old needle out of the trash to find out that they are totally different lengths and the ones I bought would not work. ?And by this time I’d used the machine so much trying to get stuff to work that it was doing it’s squeaky hot burny thing and well, I gave up.

But I got a free serger (that I can only use for 5 minutes at a shot).

7 Comment

  1. Kim says: Reply

    Fellow seamstress here… I was laughing out loud at your description. First you took it apart and oiled it, THEN you read the directions! Freaking classic move in my house!

    And free is free, even if it only works for five minutes at a time, right? Beside that, we all know you have the attention span of a gnat. Five minutes on the serger… LOOK! Something shiny! Ahh, now what was I doing? Oh yeah… the serger. Rinse and repeat.

    And (as an aside) DH and I are well aware of good old Dr. Ambien. DH woke up with his pants around his ankles in the airplane bathroom with no recollection of how he got there, or how long he’d been there. The ring around his fanny would indicate it had been a substantial amount of time. TMI? Perhaps. A good story to tell to our friends? Absolutely!

  2. mom says: Reply

    You knew this was coming, I’m sure… what the hell is a serger?

  3. elle says: Reply

    mom, look on the inside of your clothing. See that fancy stitch that keeps the fabric from unravelling every time you wash them? That’s a serger stitch. You need a special machine for that. And it’s not a cheap little machine either.

  4. kim hartman says: Reply

    I had to giggle out loud while reading this. i’m glad you are back and yes, I’ll try to be better at commenting. 🙂

  5. Aunt Jan says: Reply

    I have a serger that is practically brand new due to the fact that I have hardly used it. I wish that there were classes here in town that I could take to show me how to use it. Good luck with your serger. Hugs, Aunt Jan

  6. Heidi says: Reply

    Hi ~ I’m commenting! Love your writing!!!

  7. Ooh this story is resonating with me because, a co-worker loaned me her serger to try and see if I like it, and if so, she will sell it to me for cheap. I’m scared to try it now… (I know NOTHING about how to work a serger, other than that it supposedly a total pain in the butt to thread.)

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