Patience

I appreciate the well wishes and helpful advice. Our afternoon went much better than the morning. We did a little holding time and that alone makes a huge difference with my child.

I was the alone mom last night as the trusty husband was out of town for work. So the boy and I made pizza for dinner (which he didn’t throw at my head). We always seem to have home made pizza when the husband is out.

Just as a sanity check for me I am going to call the Univ. of WA adopt med center* this morning to make an appointment. We’ve been talking about this for some time because of the rocking. As Serena put it, it is better to have your worries put to rest as opposed to ignoring them and have bigger issues later. My honest to god feeling is that he’s just being two.

You have to see the big picture with this child. He is extremely intelligent. This isn’t a mom saying her son is bright because he picked up English so fast. This is real live smart. The boy can do things that a typical two year old shouldn’t be able to do. The child forgets nothing. Everyone we come across tells me how smart he is. Some of the stuff he pulls out stuns us. Now couple that with an on-going speech delay and that is grounds for some frustration. His brain knows what he wants to say, but doesn’t have the skills to articulate it yet. Stories come out in random words.

Example: this morning he was telling me about our trip (on Sunday) to the Science Center. The story went like this, “Auntie G seat-belp, Oleg seat-belp, Mama seat-belp, Daddy seat-belp.” Later “Auntie G Seattle. See dino-naur.” He’s getting there, but just can’t put it all together in a complex string of words.

The grape episode would have sounded like this if he could of verbalized it. “Yes Mama, I would like the grapes, but I just bonked my head and it hurts so please make it stop hurting first.” For the record I had done my best to make his head stop hurting prior to giving him the food. But that wasn’t the first time he’s pulled the “I’ll say no even though I really want it.”

All in all he does show all the signs of healthy attachment. I am confident that our biggest issue is just the communication. Imagine being at a conference for work where you are the resident expert, but the conference attendees don’t speak the same language and you haven’t yet learned pantomime. It would piss you off too. Then add the fact that you have the biggest tooth ache of your life. I’m thinking you’d be an asshole too.

I will call the doc, but for now my motto is patience. When all else fails… there’s always booze.

*Appt is scheduled for next Friday morning.

9 Comment

  1. Cindy says: Reply

    Holding Time! It made and continues to make all the difference for our guy. Hang in there. It sounds like you’ve got a plan!

  2. Esther says: Reply

    That will be great to go to UW. We were headed there ourselves with ZsaZsa, had she come home. Our primary care physician wanted her to be seen by Dr. Julia Bledsoe at UW, and also by Children’s Hospital in Seattle.

    You’ll be in good hands at UW. I spoke with them multiple times and emailed frequently while we were adopting ZsaZsa.

  3. M- says: Reply

    The UW is great! Both of my kids go there now for their regular pediatricians (Dr Bledsoe, but we’ve seen Dr Davies more than once as well), and the whole office is fantastic! When my new baby gets home, he/she’ll be their newest patient as well.

  4. DebiP says: Reply

    I wish I could see Dr. Davies..he is such a great guy on the phone…Elle, you are doing a good thing by seeing them…and realizing that he is frustrated…Griffin and I are right there with you in the language..I mean right there..it is coming!!!

  5. Jenny2 says: Reply

    A friend taught her 2 year old sign language and it helped greatly with communication.

    Is it OK to say I laughed out loud at the “pizza at the head”, comment?

    ‘cuz I did!

  6. Lauri says: Reply

    I second signing for helping ease the frustration of language issues… and Duh I just found your flickr link…. how cute is the boy in the sweater & hat… he looks like model

    Getting a professional opinion will oly help validate or ease your fears…. like you say.. better to know sooner than later.

  7. Jenni says: Reply

    Univ. WA is excellent! It is wonderful that you have such a great resource so close by. Dr. Davies helped us out so much when we were evaluating our referral for Vika and Eamon – he’s a great pediatrician who seems to get right to the heart of things.

    And, duh, I completely forgot about the language angle! Our kids’ temper tantrums reduced significantly once they had a better grasp of the English language. The frustration of not being able to communicate must be a lot to bear, especially if your child is intelligent and has a lot of thoughts in his little head that he wants to get out!

    Best of luck with the appointment. I’m sure it will help clarify things for you, and maybe point you in a new direction as well.

  8. Mom says: Reply

    Yea!!!! I’m sure a lot of fears will be laid to rest. Sometimes thats all we need. A little reassurance when we’re new to parenting can go a long way. I can’t tell you how many times I rushed you to the Dr. over nothing. I felt silly in the end but that big worry that clouded my thoughts was gone.

  9. serena says: Reply

    Good idea. Dr. Davies was our ped until we moved to Alaska.

    Sounds like you really feel he is making progress, so some reassurance would be nice. Instincts and things that bug us should be heeded though. When I first came home, my girl had some really bad bowels. However she tested negative for parasites. she didn’t have the usual symptoms that go with parasites except these unbelievable diapers. I told everyone about it. Everyone (including my mom) laughed at the new novice mom who was grossed out at poop. They said ‘oh be glad it isn’t constipation’. It makes me mad now that I didn’t trust my gut and insist on further testing. Instead we messed around with diet. After a while I got used to it…for 5 mos. Then I started leaving my child with my parents during the day when I went back to work. Now when my Mom was dealing with it first hand she was suddenly WHAT???? THIS IS NOT NORMAL! Sure enough when I got her re-tested, she had giardia and h pylori. I kicked myself for not trusting my instincts from the first when it seemed something was wrong. On the other hand since i was the one with no experience, I didn’t entirely know the difference.

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