Constant narration of my life

I laugh in the face of the Russians that said my son had a speech delay.? Evidently he must have thought the caregivers lives were terribly boring.? The majority of words that come out of my child’s mouth include those that narrate my day to day activity.? I feel like Will Ferrell in that movie with Emma Thompson, “Stranger than Fiction.”? Only I can see the source of the dialog and it sounds distinctly like Elmo.

The boy finds it fascinating to tell me that I am eating granola.? Then as if I didn’t know already I am supposed to drink the milk. ? He informs me that I am going potty while I am going potty.? Then I get the play by play of wiping, flushing, and washing hands.? He narrates what clothes are going into the dryer while he is putting them in.? “Daddy’s shirt, Oleg’s pants, Mama’s shirt, Oleg’s coat.”? From laundry we move onto dishes.? “Mama wash dishes.? In dishwasher.? Bowl, plate, spoon.”

“Mama fix hair.? Fix hair hot. Mama wo-lon face.? Paint cheek.? Color eyes.? White (not actually white), brown.? Mama use pink.? Mama next lipstick.”? No Oleg I’m not wearing lipstick today.? “Mama no wear lipstick.”

While I make the bed he tells me, “pillows off the bed, Oleg play with pillows, Oleg help make bed.? Mama pull blankies, Mama Daddy side, Mama’s side.”? “Mama shoes, Mama shoes away.? Play Daddy slippers.”

It goes on and on and on and on.? Thank God I have him because if I didn’t I might forget what I was doing while I was doing it.? And no wonder I have no clue what I am supposed to be doing next.? I can’t hear myself think with the constant chatter going on.? I guess I could always just ask the boy what comes after sweeping the floor.? Cause heaven forbid I do something out of order.? I could be all crazy like and dust first then sweep the floor.?? Just to screw with him and all.

11 Comment

  1. chou2 says: Reply

    Wow – like of like you are in your own little movie with narrated subtitles. Constant obvious narrated subtitles. 🙂

  2. Rhonda says: Reply

    I’ve heard your little man speak, and he is such a little smartie. But, I can relate to having your entire day narrated. Right now, Clyde repeats everything Bonnie says, so I get the narration in stereo. Its enough to make you crazy.

  3. Okay sorry but I had to laugh about that. When you start talking just like him, call someone.

  4. gotta repeat my comment from earlier: heh heh

    I think it’s kinda cute…could evolve into something life threatening, but with that voice, it’s still on the cute side.

  5. NEAL says: Reply

    That is funny.

    (Papa check e-mail says April baby)

  6. yeah, no speech problems there. 😉

  7. Lauri says: Reply

    Oh… can I relate…….. It drives me crazy…… I will now & then yell ” Hush please”…. then I get Mama are your dissapointed? Mama are you angry?

  8. kate says: Reply

    I love it! Of course, I don’t have it yet…but I LOVE IT! And, in that little O voice of his… Glad you’ve got someone to keep you on track.

  9. Ani says: Reply

    I wonder how we got through our days before we had our own personal sportscasters 🙂

  10. Jenny2 says: Reply

    He’s not too young to start dusting is he? OK, never mind.

  11. Jenni says: Reply

    Ha! Those Russians and their speech delays. They said Eamon had one too, and like Oleg, he’s the biggest chatterbox around. Unfortunately, he doesn’t narrate, he asks questions: “Mama, you going poop?” “Mama, you eating breakfast?” “Mama, you on your computer? What’chu doing on your computer?” Really, it’s enough to drive you nuts.

Leave a Reply to christen Cancel reply