First and foremost, the chocolates are gone. I had to make one quick trip to the post office to mail off the 2 boxes to a town in FL that has the same name as a town in Russia, but all is good. For some reason PayPal didn’t like that particular town. And when I mentioned it to the dude at the post office he looked at me as if I had at that very moment grown a third head. When I returned home I found the stack of boxes on my front stoop gone. I can’t tell you how happy I was to see them go. As of this morning I am still out $608. No amount of alcohol brought that back last night. And did you know that you can’t squeeze a wine bottle to get more out? Who knew. The USPS gets 12 hours to give me my money back or I am raising holy hell.

Enough of that whole the United States Postal Service ripped $608 off from me. On to better subjects.

————————————–

I am going to take you on a tour of my garden. I would get all fancy and stuff and do one of those slide show things, but it’s like 75 degrees outside and I don’t want to be sitting here in front of my computer. I started writing about pruning and quickly realized that I lack the grey matter to formulate a coherent post on the subject. I then wrote a post on how to create a moss basket, but I have to resize all the photos and I’m too lazy for that today. Instead you get a tour of my garden. Or more specifically one section of it.

We bought our house 3 years ago. We looked at so many houses before finding one that was in a good neighborhood, the right size and affordable. I found on out near the water that I liked, but it was too stinking small. That isn’t to say that we haven’t quickly outgrown this house. The first time we looked at our house I peered through the windows and said no way in hell. The kitchen was waaaay too small. It still is. But somehow we convinced ourselves to take a look inside. The interior of our house looked like 1986 threw up. There was nasty blue stained carpet, ugly wall paper and that kitchen. Oh is was bad buddy. The outside was seriously lacking as well.

This is one of the photos listed on the web when we were house hunting.

Despite its complete lack of charm, we could still see that there was something there. Through lots of hard work and tons of money, we have made our house into something worth living in. Even if it is a little small.

When we first moved in I didn’t work outside the home. I was busy doing landscape design for people. I have to say that it is easy to design someone else’s landscape, but designing my own has been next to impossible. That first winter I spent nearly every day ripping out plant material. Dane the Dumbass previous homeowner didn’t leave me much to work with. That first year I pulled out a huge Honeysuckle hedge, some weird juniper thing an Acuba (that keeps trying to grow back) and 2 Rhododendrons. Not to mention about 20 cubic tons of English Ivy and Vinca Vine. My neighbor drove by one day and saw me pulling out Lithodora like no one’s business and gasped with horror. The amount I have now is significant, but I’ve pulled out so much more. When all was said and done with my plant massacre we had a pile of stuff 20 feet long, 10 feet wide and about 5 feet tall. buried in that pile was 1/2 of our lawn.

I got the bright idea one day to rent a sod cutter. The trusty husband came home early one day and cut out 1/2 of the grass. It took us weeks to pick all the clumps up.

The shape of the lawn was the only thing I was able to actually design. Everything else is just thrown in because I thought it was pretty. I’ve dug up plants and moved them. I have more orange Daylilies than I know what to do with. I added 2 trees the first year and then a weeping cherry this year. Most of my garden is deciduous, meaning it loses it’s leaves. It isn’t the prettiest picture in the winter, but in the spring and summer it is gorgeous. I like it. And I keep adding to it. The weeding kills me, but I do it anyway. When it isn’t to the point of threatening to smother me in my sleep I like pulling out the unsavory characters.

So here you go… my garden from the time we bought our house to this morning. This is just one view.

Before I started ripping out plants.

After I’d pulled everything out and planted a few things.

The same year after everything grew in.

As of this morning (bad photo).

If you have gardening questions or would like to suggest a topic for an upcoming Gardening 101 feel free to email me at elle@lifeofelle.com

I have this category over there called Gardening 101. It rarely gets used. In the northwest the winter is too depressing to work in the garden. I mean it rains all. the. time. I hate being wet. Although I have been known to go pull Ivy out of my yard while it is pouring. I look like the man in the yellow hat with all of my rain gear on.

So this week I’m going to start a regular feature. Sure I could jump on the Love Thursday or Stuff Portrait Friday bandwagon, but hey, I’m Elle… I have to be different don’t I?

So this week is gardening basics.

Most of us are moms. Our time is limited. Who has time to go out and garden all day when there are dishes to be done, laundry to fold and dinner to cook? I would say not me, but have you seen the state of my floors recently? I love to garden. This isn’t just because I have that fancy horticulture degree or anything. For me it is therapeutic. I find a sense of peace while pulling weeds or trimming the plants. It allows me time to think and connect with nature. Blah Blah granola crap. Live with it.

The first step to gardening is to find out why you want to do it. If you are one of those who says they hate gardening or find no use for it, you haven’t ever successfully grown a plant have you? Gardening is addictive. Like some say playing golf is. (Please don’t email me and say how much you loathe golf.) You get that first plant, that first container that looks great and you can’t get enough. I was the same way. I started with a few containers on my deck and I was hooked. We had one apartment where you couldn’t see out because of the number of containers. I lived in a loft apartment in downtown Tacoma and thought I was going to die because I couldn’t garden. That’s when I took up houseplants. That and I worked for a tropical plant wholesaler at the time.

Either way, you have to want to garden. If you look at plants and simply cringe then gardening just may not be your gig. But I encourage you to give it just once chance. It isn’t all that difficult. Trust me. If my mother can become a gardener so can you.

So we’ll start by making everyone a gardener. This means you have homework. To catch the gardening bug you have to grow your first plant successfully. I am not talking going out and hiring a landscape designer to give you this fancy HGTV backyard. Those with the smallest of apartment decks can even do this.

To be a successful gardener you need just a few supplies. First is a container. Let’s not go gettin’ all fancy and say you have to dig up a chunk of ground. Remember, this is for the apartment dweller too. Go buy a container. I prefer terracotta, but plastic will work too. Just make sure it has a hole in the bottom. For our homework make sure it is at least 8″ in diameter. A 10″ would be ideal. You will also need potting soil. The key word there is potting soil. Please, for the love of God, don’t buy that Miracle Grow crap. Go to your local nursery and buy good old fashioned potting soil. I prefer organic. Buy it from the nursery, not the mega box store or the local quickie mart, but make sure it is labeled potting soil. Just enough to fill the pot will do. Also, don’t under any circumstances put Styrofoam peanuts or crushed soda cans or anything in the bottom of the pot. Last but not least you will need a plant. For this homework lesson we are going to start with something simple. One plant that even the newest of gardeners can grow. A petunia.

Petunias are sticky, and I don’t like that about them however, I spend a small fortune on petunias every year. Why? Because they are easy. Now, when you are buying your petunia you will need to be looking for a very specific kind. I am trying to maximize your success here. Look for one labeled a Supertunia, Surfina, or Wave petunia. All of these are what are known as trailing petunias. They bloom all summer, you never have to dead head them and they grow like mad. You will need only 1 4″ plant. See, I’m making you a gardener without breaking the bank.

Now that you have your pot, soil and plant go home and plant it. Dump the soil into the pot, fill until you are about 3/4″ shy of the top. Dig a hole in your soil and remove the plastic pot from your petunia. And important step is to break up the root ball of the plant just a bit. I do this by squeezing the root ball slightly. Plop the plant into the hole and press the soil in the pot around the root ball. Last but not least water that bad boy. Watering is key.

Water your little petunia about every other day and it is best if you water until water runs out that hole in the bottom of the pot. If you live in a wet climate like me you will need to water less frequently in the early spring. During the hot summer months you will need to water every day. Oh, one more thing. Petunias like sun. About 6-8 hours a day if possible.

We’ll revisit your little petunia from time to time with such things as fertilizer, but for now this will get you started.