April 25, 2006

I imagined today to be so much different than it currently is turning out. Today is “Metcha Day” in our house. I wanted it to at least be filled with a little bit of laughter and fun. Unfortunately my shooting ear pain at 1:30 this morning put the kai-bash on that one. I’ve been sick for a week. I have blown gallons of mucus out of my nose, I hacked up a lung and now I feel like I’m on the verge of losing hearing in my right ear. For the record, that was my good ear. I laid in bed this morning thinking about where I could find a class to learn sign language, just in case. I’m dizzy, I barely ate breakfast and the noise, oh god the noise. My child sounds like an alien. Everything I hear has a tinny echo. I flinch every time the boy says, “Hi, Mama.” To top it off, he knows I’m sick and is worried about me. So every time he sees me he says, “Hi, Mama.” *Flinch * Twitch*

But to the crux of the matter….

One year ago today we walked into Khabarovsk Baby Home #2 to meet the little boy that would become our son. I have to say that prior to leaving the hotel for this momentous trip, I had a break down. I had a brief, “I lost my baby moment.” To this day I think about that moment and still cry. My friend Cathy told me it would take a long time to heal after losing Alexander. I brushed it under the rug and moved on. You know, she was right. At that moment, in that hotel, when it was truly time to move forward I lost it. My trusty husband held me tight and told me that it was ok. I believed him. I trusted him. He was right too.

I could go on and on about the trip, the day, meeting our son. But D made me a video that says so much more than I could ever put into words. I haven’t shown this before because we were not legally able to post it on the internet until the adoption was final. I want to share it with you now. I watched this video over and over for 4 months. Similarly, I watched the one he made of Alexander over and over for 9 months. I will warn you, there are some very very bad photos of me in this video. Really bad.

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To update: The trusty husband, being ever so helpful, threw my sorry ass in the car and drove me to “Doc in the Box.” This after he called our doc and they were booked and evidently my screaming from splitting ear pain didn’t help the matter. Then once I stopped biting and scratching trying to claw my way out of the car we get to DITB #1 and there is an hour wait. Screaming there didn’t help either. DITB #2 got me in “quicker” and there the doctor proclaimed sinus infection and ear infection. I coulda told him that. The snot was definitely in the “Seek Medical Attention” category. See isn’t it handy that I made that chart? And you all laughed.

So DITB #2 prescribed antibiotics, OTC Mucinex and Tylenol with C0dine. One of those bad boys and I’m normally out cold. Not this time brother. Didn’t even touch the pain. So here I lay in the bed with two cats while my trusty husband finished up my work today, drove it over to the church and is bringing me home a treat. “Lemon Jello and Sprite.” I croaked out from under the covers.

23 Comment

  1. Leggy says: Reply

    Wow- what a great video. He is so adorable. It must have been so hard to wait and wait and wait until trip 2.

  2. I can’t believe you kept that video to yourself for so long! What special memories. It was very beautiful. Thanks for sharing it!

  3. It’s a big milestone; sorry you’re feeling so poorly. That video is priceless, you’re lucky (smart) to have captured all that.

  4. Tricia says: Reply

    Love the video! What a cutie pie. I just about lost it watching the first time you were walking back and forth with him in the hallway. Don’t know why. And loved him feeding D…

    Hope you are feeling better.

  5. Lauri says: Reply

    Happy metcha day!

    Get well soon

  6. That is a great video. I can’t imagine how hard it had to be to wait for Pickle after meeting him and having all those great bonding moments. Happy Metcha Day.

    And sorry about the ear – hope it’s back to functioning normally soon!

  7. M- says: Reply

    Awesome video, and timely for me, as my wait for a referral will start sometime next week, as my dossier heads to my agency. Thank you for sharing.

  8. Loved it! I’m falling into the sick wagon with you, we got to spend some time with 2 sick kids this weekend and well you know the rest of the story…hope you feel better soon.

  9. What a great video!! Thanks so much for sharing with us – Happy Metcha Day!

    I, too, hope you start feeing better…

  10. Ani says: Reply

    what a great memory-keeper! happy metcha day. hope you’re feeling better.

  11. Bev Lindholm says: Reply

    Loved seeing the “metcha” video again – what a huge difference in our boy in the past 7 months and what absolute joy he has brought to our whole family!! He knows his parents and is such a loving little guy, which showed even in this video! Dad and I treasure every minute with him and watching you all grow as a family. We feel so very blessed by this little grandson – GREAT job, Mommy and Daddy! Luv you all! Mom/Grammy

  12. Lee says: Reply

    Ditto what Grammy said! I still get chills and tear up when I see that video, and then get a great big smile and tears again when I his sweet face grinning back at me every time I open the fridge!
    XOXOXO
    Auntie Lee

  13. Congratulations on your Metcha anniversary! The video is really sweet — wonderful to see those first few moments.

    Funny you mention how, just before meeting Pickle, losing A came back and bit you. Now that I’m matched with Slugger, I haven’t been able to get Peanut off my mind. It’s not a bad thing and it doesn’t hinder my happiness over Slugger. It’s just weird.

    I hope you feel better soon. C’mon antibiotics — kick in quickly!

  14. Cathy says: Reply

    Loved seeing the video, tho shuddered remembering the dreaded “small” room for babyhouse #2 visits! Amazing how our little ones have grown so quickly and how they seem to have been part of our families from the start. Losing our “first” little ones in no way diminishes our love for them, nor does it impact the awe inspiring, “thank you, God” feeling we have for the children we brought home….just gives us more kids to keep in our thoughts and prayers!

    Feel better soon!

  15. Jenny says: Reply

    Good deal 1 year huh, WOW, I remember it distinctly. The month leading up to the referral, emails…everything.

    Feel better soon…I hope the jello does the trick..yummm jello.

  16. Esther says: Reply

    Love the movie!! I got tears watching. I feel the same as you moving forward with another adoption. maybe two steps forward, one step back? At the moment I’m rather going thru the motions. I hope my husband throws me into it like your husband did. Sink or swim!

    Again, love the movie! I still can’t believe that you, Suzanne, and I were all in the same region, on the same RIVER, the same week last year! HOW could I have forgotten???? Sheesh…..

  17. Jenni says: Reply

    Happy Metcha Day! Great video. It made me tear up, both for you guys meeting your son, and for the memories it brought back of seeing my kids for the first time. It’s such a special, wonderful time, and you guys captured the experience perfectly with your video.

    I hope you are feeling better soon so your family can do a proper celebration. In the meantime, take care of yourself!

  18. kate says: Reply

    Ugh–there is nothing more painful than ear infection pain. Hope you’re up and around soon so you can celebrate your Metcha Week!

  19. Nicole says: Reply

    Great video and rockin music. Hope your ear feels better.

  20. mom says: Reply

    Wow, Look at the changes in his whole demeanor. All the sadness in those little eye… now gone… and a mischievous
    and happy 2yr old has emerged! Thank you Derek, for taking such wonderful care of my sickie daughter. Ear infections are so, so……. painful.

  21. Oh L, I am in tears knowing all you guys went thru to get O I am so happy all worked out and you hvae your precious O, watching that video was just very emotional and of course brought back many memories for me too. Thanks for shaing this video, can’t wait for Doug to get home to watch it too. My 6y/o son watched it with me he knows all about Khabarovsk and so enjoyed the video too.Prayers you are feeling better soon!

  22. Gaye says: Reply

    That video is wonderful! I love knowing that you were meeting little Pickle the day that our adoption of Roman was final šŸ™‚ Today was our “gotcha or family day” and yesterday was the anniversary of our court date!!

    Oh my how our lives have changed!!

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