I imagined today to be so much different than it currently is turning out. Today is “Metcha Day” in our house. I wanted it to at least be filled with a little bit of laughter and fun. Unfortunately my shooting ear pain at 1:30 this morning put the kai-bash on that one. I’ve been sick for a week. I have blown gallons of mucus out of my nose, I hacked up a lung and now I feel like I’m on the verge of losing hearing in my right ear. For the record, that was my good ear. I laid in bed this morning thinking about where I could find a class to learn sign language, just in case. I’m dizzy, I barely ate breakfast and the noise, oh god the noise. My child sounds like an alien. Everything I hear has a tinny echo. I flinch every time the boy says, “Hi, Mama.” To top it off, he knows I’m sick and is worried about me. So every time he sees me he says, “Hi, Mama.” *Flinch * Twitch*
But to the crux of the matter….
One year ago today we walked into Khabarovsk Baby Home #2 to meet the little boy that would become our son. I have to say that prior to leaving the hotel for this momentous trip, I had a break down. I had a brief, “I lost my baby moment.” To this day I think about that moment and still cry. My friend Cathy told me it would take a long time to heal after losing Alexander. I brushed it under the rug and moved on. You know, she was right. At that moment, in that hotel, when it was truly time to move forward I lost it. My trusty husband held me tight and told me that it was ok. I believed him. I trusted him. He was right too.
I could go on and on about the trip, the day, meeting our son. But D made me a video that says so much more than I could ever put into words. I haven’t shown this before because we were not legally able to post it on the internet until the adoption was final. I want to share it with you now. I watched this video over and over for 4 months. Similarly, I watched the one he made of Alexander over and over for 9 months. I will warn you, there are some very very bad photos of me in this video. Really bad.
To update: The trusty husband, being ever so helpful, threw my sorry ass in the car and drove me to “Doc in the Box.” This after he called our doc and they were booked and evidently my screaming from splitting ear pain didn’t help the matter. Then once I stopped biting and scratching trying to claw my way out of the car we get to DITB #1 and there is an hour wait. Screaming there didn’t help either. DITB #2 got me in “quicker” and there the doctor proclaimed sinus infection and ear infection. I coulda told him that. The snot was definitely in the “Seek Medical Attention” category. See isn’t it handy that I made that chart? And you all laughed.
So DITB #2 prescribed antibiotics, OTC Mucinex and Tylenol with C0dine. One of those bad boys and I’m normally out cold. Not this time brother. Didn’t even touch the pain. So here I lay in the bed with two cats while my trusty husband finished up my work today, drove it over to the church and is bringing me home a treat. “Lemon Jello and Sprite.” I croaked out from under the covers.