There isn’t much going on in our lives that warrants sharing. Yes, I had surgery. It has improved my life. I think more than anything I’m ready to start living my life.

I realized something before and after the surgery. Before hand I spent time preparing by reading an online forum for hysterectomy support. It was helpful to read success stories and advice from women who’d been there done that. I did the same thing while we were adopting Oleg (to a point of obsession with that one). Afterwards I participated less. I also noticed one thing… forums are full of people with bad experiences. I know now that is a big fat duh.

People spend so much time trying to find other people who have also had bad experiences. They have this need to connect with others. I’ve even noticed that with some blogs. Some of the writers I followed through their adoptions journeys continue to write because they continue to have issues after their children have come home. There are some that have moved through the trials and have moved on to full on mommyblogger status. In any case that leaves me in an awkward place.

What is this blog? Why do I write it? Who are my readers? I won’t say that we don’t have our issues here. We do. Oh we do buddy. They aren’t issues we want to air publicly. I don’t want to offend anyone and some of them cross my line of share and don’t share. That leaves me in the mommyblogger category.

I know my few readers like hearing my stories or seeing how big the child is getting. I’m not saying that this is the end of Life of Elle. I can’t give it up. Besides, I blatantly exploit this blog to force you to buy candy once a year. However, I’m going to focus on a different project I’ve been working on for nearly 4 years now.

I write a gardening blog. Did you know that? I bet you didn’t. Well I do. It’s called Sprouting Off. I really enjoy it too. I’m going to try to focus on that blog in the immediate future. (Secretly I’m hoping to become famous from a blog like Pioneer Woman did.) Just kidding… no really I could totally have a show on HGTV. So please become a reader of that blog. I promise to make you a better gardener.

I am aware that this wasn’t the brightest idea. I’ve done dumber.

I mentioned to Derek how good I was feeling. I told him I wanted to go into the shop. He said if I was feeling up to it he wasn’t going to say no. This meant I had to drive myself there. I haven’t driven a car in 3 weeks.

Yesterday I woke up feeling good. I thought I might try going into work to see how I felt. I’m slightly worried about not working for 6 weeks and then being thrown into the busy Spring season and having absolutely no stamina. My thought was to slowly work myself up to working at least 1/2 days when I get back.

I ran by the fabric store to grab a few skeins of yarn that I needed and then headed to the shop. I told Travis that the only stipulations were that he couldn’t leave me by myself and I couldn’t lift over 10 pounds. I also didn’t know how long I would be able to stay.

I made it an hour and a half. I didn’t do much. I helped a customer, answered the phone and took care of some chicken stuff.

I spent the rest of the day on the couch. I am very aware that trying to go to work 3 weeks after major abdominal surgery was a colossally stupid idea. I won’t try it again.

My new mantra is “I am not superwoman. I love my couch.”

It took convincing, but he agreed and we journeyed down that path. As we went along that list of potential grants got shorter and shorter. We didn’t live in the right state. We weren’t adopting from the right country or with the right agency. We weren’t willing to write a “salvation statement.” Jesus died for our sins. Isn’t that salvation enough? “By grace you have been saved by faith.” A statement as simple as that wasn’t going to fly with the ultra conservative set.

I was discouraged. I wanted a child. Money stood in my way. I vowed that once I had my child home I would do something to make a difference. I would help those families where money stood in their way too. I would do it without prejudice.

I started making candy. I sold the candy to anyone who would buy it. I expanded the scope of my giving. Not only did I give to families (we’ve helped 3 children come home so far) I gave to the children. The children left behind who may never find a forever family. I sacrificed my time, my life for these children and families.

A few years ago I roped some friends in to helping. I twisted their arms and asked them to serve on a board of directors. I promised that it wouldn’t be all boring meetings. I would provide the occasional yummy snack and they could drink Derek’s scotch. They agreed.

I found a lawyer willing to provide legal advice for free… and the occasional glass of scotch.

I filled out paperwork, wrote checks and crossed my fingers. It took me almost a year to fill out the seemingly endless IRS Form 1023. International adoption paperwork was easier than that form. I was paranoid. I thought surely it would be rejected. I was meticulous. Finally, after the board threatened me, I sent in the form. That was in December.

On January 12th I received word from the IRS that they had gotten the application (and cashed my check) and I would be hearing in approximately 90 days.

I went out to the mailbox today to collect the 2 days worth of mail only to return to my front door to find out I locked myself out of the house. It was about 15 minutes before Derek was supposed to come home for lunch so I waited in the warm greenhouse rather than wandering the neighborhood to find a neighbor home so I could use their phone. While I waited I sorted the mail. There was a letter from the IRS.

The United States Internal Revenue Service has deemed that Sweet Hope Foundation qualifies as a tax exempt 501(c)(3) charitable organization! This is nearly the last hurdle we have to face in this process. It is by far the biggest. This means that the donations you make to Sweet Hope are now tax deductible. It means that we can apply for grants. It means the world.

I want to thank all of our supporters through the years. I want to thank the board for telling me I didn’t have to be perfect.

We did it!

Although I have a fairly short name I’ve always had a nickname. It is quite uncommon for my family to call me by my actual name. That could be why adopting the name Elle came easily. For those just catching up my name is Lisa. My parents call me Leese (pronounced lease). The long form, given to me by my dad, was Leese McGeese. It isn’t my favorite. My uncles call me Leeser.

When I started dating Derek (who by the way doesn’t have a nickname in real life other than D) there was a bit of a conflict. You see, his middle sister is also named Liese (yes, Lisa). They couldn’t call me Lisa K (my maiden name starts with a K) because Liese’s middle name starts with a K. At some point a friend of mine started saying, “listen here little missy” to me. Somehow in some convoluted way people started calling me Missy. In Derek’s family I have always been known as Missy. It was cute when years ago Derek’s grandmother said, “I’m glad you started using your real name” when I inadvertently signed a card to her “Lisa.” It was a mistake, but one that made me realize that the name Missy really isn’t my favorite. It may not be the best, but I’ve been known as such for nearly 20 years so I can’t go changing it now.

Like I mentioned, Derek doesn’t really have any real-life nicknames. Most of his family calls him D. My niece B (who we actually call B) calls him Uncle D. He does have another nickname that our friends Sam & Cari call him, but I won’t disclose it in public lest I be sleeping on the couch too.

Oleg has a nickname list a mile long. Typically we call him by his name, but he also responds to Babaganush, Batu-tu, Oggie, Ogig, Lil O, Little Man or when he’s in trouble Olezhek. The story behind Babaganush is here.

Even my pets (all of them ) have nicknames. Hammond (cat) – Hammy, Hamster, Hammer, Dammit. Truman (cat) – True, Trummy, Turdy. Fiona (cat) – Fi, Squee, Fifi, Squee-Wee, Kitty. Busy (dog) – Biz, Wizzy, Busy Dog, Wizzy Dog, Wizzer. Sparkles (chicken) – Sparks, Sparky. Betty Draper (chicken) – Bets, Betsy. Picken (chicken) – Picks, Picker. Grinnin (chicken) – Grinny, Grin, Grinner, Grins. Even the fish. Technically the fish is named Minerva Louise, but we call her (actually a him) fishy.

Personally I have a love-hate relationship with nicknames. Obviously I’m not overly fond of my own, but I do like a good creative nickname. What about you?

I’m barely taking any over the counter pain medicine anymore. I do about once or twice a day depending on how I feel. I still have the nerve/skin pain, but other than that I’m fine. Walking long distances isn’t the easiest, but I can do quite a bit while sitting. Since that is the case I took a little stool out into the garden and did some weeding yesterday. I had to have help since I can fill a weed bucket, but can’t lift it to dump it into the yard waste bin. I worked for about 2 hours yesterday and then was finished for the rest of the day.

I know I’ve been told over and over to rest and take it easy. My question is when is my “rest time” over? I’m not in a ton of pain. I have a little more energy. I know my lifting limitations (I’ve been very good at that). I can’t sit on this couch forever. Things need to be done. I would love to have a little more help in the garden, but other than the forced labor from my husband and child people are not typically willing to pull weeds.

In other news, the doctor hasn’t officially cleared me to drive a car, but last time I had surgery he said as soon as I’m off pain killers I could drive. I’ve been off of those for almost 2 weeks so theoretically I could drive. Derek has given me a set number of places I can go. I can go to the produce store close to our house, the grocery, my store and the mall, but only if I have a buddy. That doesn’t give me too many options.

Needless to say I’m oh so very bored.

Since coming home Oleg has the tendency to make any larger item into smaller items. If something comes apart he will take it apart. Legos are best kept as individual pieces (although he will build things with them on occasion). At 2 he figured out that you use a screwdriver to take the battery plate off of toys and removed the batteries from his Tigger airplane ride on toy. If it has a removable antenna he’ll take it off. If he can cut it into little bits he will.

The other little behavior he has is squirreling things. He loves boxes and bags. If there is something he can put something else into he will. After his birthday someone came over to visit. I was telling them about this little quirk. I pulled out 5 gift bags from around our family room. Every one of them had miscellaneous toys in them. A few train parts, a lego, a silly band, random stuff. We’ve given him a little metal box that we call his treasure box. It is for him to put things into. He can put whatever he wants in it. It usually satisfies the urge to squirrel, but there are times when we have shoe boxes or other boxes around the house that make it into his room and full of stuff.

As I’m sitting captive here on the couch I noticed the dog chewing on something. I look down and she has this.

Take a closer look at what’s inside.

Yep, little scraps of paper. The child cut little tiny scraps of paper and stuffed them into a bag. This isn’t the first time he’s done this. He does it with yarn & feathers (that was a fun one to clean up) too.

At first these were very annoying behaviors. Now it’s become a little character quirk that I don’t exactly find endearing, but livable. What kinds of habits do your kids have that annoy the hell out of you?

Now onto the comparing. Last Monday vs. This Monday.

Last Monday I took a shower and shaved my legs. I did not apply makeup nor did I do more than comb my wet hair. I laid on the couch while Rai and I watched a movie. After she left I took a nap. I attempted to make my own breakfast, but really that was me getting out the pan then sitting down. I was taking narcotic pain killers, not pooping properly and consuming vast quantities of milk of magnesia. Phillips should totally ask me to be their spokeswoman. I prefer the capsules to the “Fresh Strawberry” liquid concentrate. Fresh strawberry my ass…oops, bad joke.

Due to the painkillers I couldn’t tell you what I ate for dinner that night, but whatever it was there wasn’t much of it. I got out to the greenhouse that afternoon to do a little watering. It was the first time I’d been outside since going from the hospital to the car and then into the house. I went to bed that night around 8:30 and slept fitfully and had nightmares.

Today I laid on my stomach a few times in bed. It doesn’t last long because that much stretching out hurts. I made my own breakfast (an egg & avocado sandwich). I did some work on the Urban Coop Tour and read the February issue of Sunset magazine. I took a shower. I flattened my hair AND put on makeup. I took a rest to find a recipe for lemon bars (successfully). I commenced making aforementioned lemon bars.

I am no longer taking the narcotic pain killers (and haven’t been since last Wednesday). My intestinal tract is nearly back to normal. My back is killing me from our couch, but there isn’t much I can do about that.

I get frustrated every day over what I still can’t do. I’m incredibly bored despite having numerous things to keep me occupied. However, if I look at where I was a week ago I am doing remarkably well. I’m still not comfortable being left alone all day long especially since the boy is on mid-Winter break. I’m afraid I won’t have the stamina to care for him. So Derek is staying home at least for today.

I go to see the doctor for my post-op appointment Wednesday morning. He’ll say I’m doing good, but still won’t be able to lift things for another 4 weeks. I am actually quite amazed at how fast the time is going.

I woke up and wandered into the kitchen. “Where the hell did we get a giant box of tomatoes… in February?”

Yep, there was a restaurant sized case of tomatoes on my kitchen counter. I momentarily thought I had a seizure while I was adjusting the weekly vegetable box and ordered a case of tomatoes. Nope. Our neighbor decided he wanted to make salsa.

Our neighbor isn’t your normal kinda guy. He is the king of excess. Oddly it’s what we love about him. Nato wanted fresh salsa so instead of being a normal person and going to the grocery to purchase tomatoes he went to the restaurant supply grocery and purchased a case of tomatoes.

The neighbor family is leaving for vacation on Saturday so naturally they pawned the remainder of the case of tomatoes off on us.

?!

Seriously? What the hell am I going to do with a case of tomatoes? From my couch? I looked at Derek and said, “well, I guess I could make tomato sauce.” What I really wanted to do was to huck them at Nato’s house, but seeing as he lives 4 houses down and I don’t know if I can walk that far that plan was scrapped.

He thought that tomato sauce was a good idea, but he said, “canning it will be the problem.” True. Making the actual tomato sauce is easy. Whiz round tomatoes in the blender, cook it until reduced. Even I can do that. I’m not sure I can stand long enough to can what looks to make about 2 cases of tomato sauce.

I’m just going to have to teach Derek to can… from the couch. It can be done right? Please tell me it can be done.

Since I’ve been home he’s done the laundry, cooked the meals, did the dishes, taken care of the child and me. He manages my medication. He fetches me things. He still holds my hand when I cry. He does it all without complaining.

I know he’s tired. I know he’s frustrated. I wish I could help.

I owe him so much for taking such good care of our family. I am so lucky to have a partner like him.

——————–
*Oleg wanted to come up to the hospital after my surgery to see me. It is part of his processing and we felt it would be fine. Little did we know how much pain I’d be in and that there would be complications. It really scared the little guy.

Before my surgery I had girlfriend’s brunch at my house and wanted to make something super yummy. I have a number of standby items, but I thought something new might be fun. I browsed this Pinterest thing to see if it was worth my while and if there were any good recipes on it. It looked intriguing. I found a few things to try (that didn’t exactly turn out as planned) and thought, well I have nothing but time on my hands so I’ll join.

My plan was to covertly join so that no one would know and then I wouldn’t look like a follower. I hate to look like a follower. I’m a trendsetter. Self proclaimed trendsetter. That’s me!

Earlier this week I finally finished up the “joining” stuff with Pinterest only to have my husband walk into the living room (where I’m held captive) 20 minutes later to say, “Pinterest? Really?” Busted.

Yes. I joined. I would like to remind everyone that I really can’t do much for the next 5 weeks. I can’t clean. I can’t garden. I can’t go to work. What else do I have? I can only watch so much daytime television. I nap, but I can only do so 30-45 minutes a day. It’s only been the second day of me feeling somewhat human and I’m already bored. I even considered riding up to Ferndale with my boss to pick up the seed potatoes. I thought 5 hours in the car might be a bit much… besides, Derek vetoed it.

I will say I’ve been having fun with this Pinterest thing. I mostly hunt for garden ideas. I’ve found a few things that I’d like to try.

I am determined to not make this a giant time suck and only browse when I’ve accomplished other tasks like reading.