Comments on: Mommy Wars: ‘Fraidy Cat

By: Judy

Judy — Sat, 12 May 2007 10:58:10 +0000

oh…and my sister used to take him to weekly storytime at the library on wednesdays….and slowly weened him into a one day weekly hour long music class on Thursdays for some time….finally into a preschool-type morning program…..slowly increased the hours…
and voila! He loves going to pre-school…and has become so much more active and chatty….he can’t stop talking for the past couple of years….lol

By: Judy

Judy — Sat, 12 May 2007 10:52:30 +0000

My husband and I are in the trying stage….but I have a neice and nephews. One particular nephew reminds me of what you are describing….. Up past the age of 3 he played independently and did not seem to care or was afraid to play with other children. Time flys and he is turning 5 this month….but for the past year and a half or more he has flourished and is now quite the entertainer…begs for play dates and loves preschool….his teacher loves him, his peers love to play with him and he is an all round fun guy to be around. We had been worried that he had not branched out from his independent play by age 3….but things just clicked almost overnight…. So no fears…it will come….

By: Wendy

Wendy — Thu, 10 May 2007 14:06:05 +0000

Totally normal toddler behavior. It’s around the age of 3 they begin to play with other kids. Before that interaction between kids is solely on a ‘you have it/I want it’ level. New kids are suspect and not to be trusted. In another year he will probably be the class clown like Levi!

P.S. Levi says Thanks!!!

By: mom

mom — Thu, 10 May 2007 14:00:22 +0000

It’s typical for 2yr olds to be standoffish or at least somewhat. Watching others interact is the best thing at this point so keep taking him to the park to play. Security is the issue right now and I believe you guy’s are handling that perfectly so don’t let this even be an issue. Our makeup is all different and social situations can and will bring out the introvert and the extrovert, but who cares? He’s way to young to tell which way he’ll be BUT he’s HAPPY. That is the important thing.

By: :: Suzanne ::

:: Suzanne :: — Thu, 10 May 2007 04:32:05 +0000

There have been a few times when my Chickadee was really clingy and reluctant to have me leave her at preschool, which she usually loves. Those days were days that had new kids attending, stranger kids. Later in those days the talk has turned to the detsky dom. I’m guessing that the whole “group of kids” thing triggers orphanage feelings. Just my guess.

By: tacomachickadee

tacomachickadee — Thu, 10 May 2007 00:46:32 +0000

Parallel play is pretty common at this age, some more than others. Some more extreme than others.

And hey, who’s this other chickadee?!?!?

By: Carla

Carla — Wed, 09 May 2007 23:37:14 +0000

Both of my boys went through this, and being a homeschooling family I was especially worried about it. While they are not having 30 kids show up to birthday parties, they do each have a good solid 5 GREAT friends each. They both can now make friends with just about any other child they meet as well. Samuel I have to watch as he’ll attach himself to any 12-18 year old brunette girl and make “googly eyes” at her (and then stage whisper to me, “Momma, she’s CUUUUUUUTE!”).

We just kept making the effort to be around other kids, and eventually they became a little more interested in playing with them.

By: NEAL

NEAL — Wed, 09 May 2007 21:18:03 +0000

It’s an age thing…the two year old does the same.

Now, if “the boy” wants to come and play at the Y on a Monday or Wednesday morning to romp in the gym, the two year old would enjoy it!

Or, we could detour on one of those days after she’s done swimming and say hello.

By: Lauri

Lauri — Wed, 09 May 2007 21:09:23 +0000

I think a small part of this is just his age… most toddlers prefer to play side by side but not together.. the more social stage comes in the 3-4 age range.Livi loves her classmates but prefers to play alone and shouts ” No mine!” if they grab her stuff.

I think he remembers some mean groupa friends… Livi was covered in marks that I can only assume happened in fights with other children. I think in Russia it was survival of the fittest with limited resources/ toys/affection… maybe he is timid because when he see’s another child he anticipates having to fight it out…so he would rather avoid it all togther. thats just my two cents… I think gradually taking him around more kids…and perhaps pushing him softly out of his comfort zone will show him that this is not Russia and he is safe.

How about making a social story book ( google social stories or email me for info)- using his pictures.. our ot did this for food issues and other issues and they really work.

By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Wed, 09 May 2007 21:00:35 +0000

Hi! My son is very close in age to your son and is exhibiting the same kind of behavior. I find that if I have the child come to our house (hard, I gather after reading your post…maybe a weekly playdate with the other mom, every wednesday afternoon?) then he is happy to play with the other kids. Its on his turf. He’s already comfortable with the environment and not scared about the location so he can let down his guard and play.
Also, its perfectly natural for kids around this age to play next to other children and not with them. I gather that they need to be closer to three or four before they start to interact on a real social level. This is true for boys at least. I think girls are naturally more group oriented. Have you asked the pediatrician?
It sounds really normal to me!